please don't tell my secrets.keep them hidden if the words that matter reach your face from the floor.does it cost me scarring if the words stay true?

awesome occurance: before the temperature reached a whopping -6 degrees on friday (that would be farenheit for all you celcius people out there), it was a nice and humid 65 on thursday, so, in an effort to take advantage of this giant cock tease by the bitch referred to as mother nature, i opted to walk to my gym which is all of 9 blocks away, rather than drive (people in cleveland just don't walk..it's odd, i don't understand it, but i conform to it). apparently, i wasn't the only one taking advantage of the weather....the trainers for seeing-eye dogs were also out in full force. so, while i was at the corner of superior and e. 9th, waiting for the lil electric white man to tell me it was a-okay to walk my ass across the intersection, one of the trainers walked up to the same intersection with a 9 month old yellow labrador puppy named chazzy. chazzy was wagging his tail like his life depended on it as he approached me. he sat, which is what he's supposed to do, and was just sitting there sniffing my leg. i own a dog...and it's pretty normal for other dogs to sniff me..seeing as in their little world i reak of the sofie-master. but then, he started to tap at my hand with his nose, asking me to pet him....which, i felt kind of bad for..i mean the poor dog is training to be a life tool for someone, and here he is, out in the world for people to see what he's learned...and he's sitting there wagging his tail and trying to get me to pet and play with him. so, i looked at him, and said "nope, you're working little one. playtime will be later", and the trainer (who was middle aged man, named Rob), just looked at me, smiled, and said "chazzy has a gift. he's an excellent judge of character...he only cares to bug people who are truly good-natured." ...... thank you chazzy....your little wet nose made my entire year.

there's no way to give this a pithy title: how funny is it to meet a guy that you would have been head over heels in love with just on looks and outward persona alone...had you met him when you were just 4 years younger? (growing up is so much fun..) how awesome is it to meet that guy, talk to him and realize he's awesome...and absolutely adore him for who he is?

realization 1: i. don't. want. to. be. someones. toy. anymore. that's all i seemingly am to the guys i've dated, which is fine...but, i'm realizing that that is just not what i want. i've done the fuck buddy thing...and that came back to bite me in the ass. i've done the casual dating with no expectations for anything except a nice hard cock at the end of the night and a half assed attempt to make me feel included in the ol' life....and that just ended up pissing me off because his half ass attempts translated to not even picking up the phone. i've done the "i've known you for three hours, but i like you and i want you so bad" heat of the moment shtuff (no sex, mind you...i'm one moral bitch) only to never hear from or see the guy again.....and.....yea, that's just not what i want. dare i say it, i, lil miss. relationships-are-the-antichrist-please-don't-even-come-near-me
-with-the-idea-of-one-or-i-will-run-away-screaming-for-dear-life (that's a shit ton of hyphens!), wants a relationship.....well...rephrase...i want a step above casual dating. i have no desire or expectation for anything long term...but i crave the intrinsic comfort of knowing that i'll see them again in a week..if not multiple times that week. i'd like to know that i'm not being some seemingly annoying and needy hag when i text them becuase i'm curious about how they're doing and how they're day is. i don't want mr. right, although if that happens...more power to the smiling face of fate...but, a mr. right now would suit me just fine.

people i want to shoot v. 632: my neighbors....across from me in the townhouses. they're absolutely fuckin' retarded. they have two puppies...i think black lab mixes...and they're super cute; however, these two girls have no business AT ALL owning any life form other than...well, maybe a fish. to start: they dont' walk the puppies...oh..no, they let them out on their balcony (god i wish i had a balcony..okay..anyway), which is where they happen to do their business. alright. now, shit...you can clean up..so no real harm and no real foul; however, dogs piss too...and the balconys are made out of wood. so....lets do a little math here people: wood + dog piss=absorbtion. absorbtion of animal waste + heat=reaking to high fuckin heaven! right now i'm just thankful i can't open my windows..because when it starts to get warmer..that balcony is going to fucking stink like no other. but no! their fucking retarded ways don't stop there..OH NO! those two little puppies have been sitting outside on that balcony, shivering and doing the "my paws are frozen" paw lift..in this lovely -6 weather, for the past 45 minutes. i won't even let my 40lb 3-year-old dog be outside in this weather for more than 15 minutes because it's just too fucking cold....and yet, these two puppies are just sitting there, freezing. dumb bitches.

requisite hating on jewish boys lack of game: jdate should really get some kind of award for all the awesome experiences it lends itself to...and by awesome i mean fucking ludacris. why? because it's like this wealth of shit for my bitchy-shitty-overcritical self to blog about! new on todays "jewish guys are just letting me down like no other" menu, is the guy who e-mailed me about six times. i admired his resiliance..and i really admired his being over 6'0''...so FINE, i e-mailed him back. it wasn't anything really awe inspiring or what not...in fact it was about as uncreative as anyone can get: "hey, how are you?" yea, i know, i'm a lyrical genuis in every asset of the word...(don't hate though bitches! y'all love my doggy style.) no less than two hours later, i had jdate e-mail, from him. so what did i get in response to my very simple invitation to engage in small talk? lets just say, for once i'm not going to post it....because it's way to fucking long and even *i* didn't want to read it. i seriously felt like an employer..he had references: "my friends would consider me" he had the personal view point: "in all honesty i would say i am"..he had qualifications: "though i am recently single, my ex girlfriend and i are...and while dating we engaged in...", he even did the compuslory ass kissing: "i'm sure you hear it all the time, but you are very beautiful. and law school? intelligent to boot." ...(vomit) dude...we're jewish. we're stereotyped as being nerds for a reason, and it's not the big noses. worst of all? the inconsiderate asshole with the glowing resume for the position as my e-mail buddy...didn't even answer my fucking question! he did, and i'm not kidding, tell me his gpa though!

an open apology to all my blog lovahhhhh's: i've been rather suckin lately at the other side of blogging. yes! i've been slacking on the commenting. i read everything, but by the time i get there to read it y'all are so awesome and already a good 20 comments deep(if not more, you popular popular people you!), i just feel i don't have much to add....so i don't. but if you're in my links section, or if you comment here often (and i add the double apology of not linking you..i'm just one lazy cock ninja lately..sorry!), i read your blog....daily. so please don't think i'm hatin' if i don't comment on a post or anything..y'all are a part of my daily habit and life now (not sure how i feel about that..but, what's a morning without my diet coke and blog surfing now?!)..so, for better or for worse...y'all are stuck with me :)