i'll be the switch he turns on, i'll be his too--i'll get off. i'll be the fuse that he blows, and even with the lights off we'll glow.

let's have a little discussion about embarrassing, shall we?

boytoy...whom i suppose i should refer to as my boyfriend but i'm not too keen on doing so and thus boytoy he shall remain...

right, so boytoy and i, we've been in a bit of a rough patch. it's to be expected when you have two people who are staunch commitment-phobes, and, of course, leave it to me to go for the guy who's never been in any form of a real relationship that's lasted past a few weeks...so, yes...i was expecting a bumpy road. said bumpy road came to a head on thursday night, and i think we're attempting to partake in what is dubbed the "smooth sailing" portion of our april. he will attempt to deviate slightly from the "i'll do what i want, when i want" ideology, and i got the verbage i needed that signaled to my little feeble female mind that this is a bit more than casual and some pretty fuckin sweet sex.

regardless, i agreed to help him build his boat's trailer on friday night...so, being the total fucking spineless fuck i am who constantly feels guilty for making people feel less than bomb-ass even when there was nothing really wrong with what happened/was done on my part... i decided it would be a great idea to do something special.

what was that something special, i hear you ask?

well! let me tell you.

it involved me, my louis vuitton raincoat, and a picnic basket of food.

yup. smart little me decided to wear nothing more than a raincoat and stilettos over to see him [sorry, but the idea of having sex on his desk was just too good to pass up, and i brought clothes to put on afterwards so i could get to painting and pneumatic tool operation], and bring him a tasty din-din.

not really a big deal, and i didn't think it was either...i thought it was a cute little thing to do...especially given the amount of "discussing" we've done in the past few weeks...so, i implemented my idea without thinking of any possible repercussions.

yup, i got blessed with a quaint little sobriety checkpoint on the way to his office...yup, my raincoat was barely covering my cooter up. [thank god i shaved..phew]..yup, the cop noticed that fact very quickly...and yup...my face was the most violent hue of red a human can turn.

i did pass the sobriety test with flying colors...and the cop winked at me with a sort of. psycho-stalker smirk and said "you have one very lucky boyfriend" before he let me pass...but jesus christ, talk about fucking embarassing.

thus, i advise you all: if you want to surprise your man/woman/it/thing with a little sumthin' sumthin and that sumthin' sumthin' requires you to have nothing more than a single layer of clothing separating you in all your nekkid glory from the rest of the world...be sure to check and make sure there are no mandatory police stops on your merry way, and if there are--eschew, eschew, eschew.

my silver lining, at least, is that we did it on his desk, in the office kitchen, on one of the warehouse work tables, and then again before bed. shaaaawing!