will i wake up? is it a dream i made up? no, i guess it's reality. say a prayer for me because i'm buried by the sound in a world of human wreckage.

day two of classes....so naturally that means day two of me being not even close to thrilled about returning to the grind of endless bullshit and feigned interest, and i'm not even going to flatter the endless amount of holier than thou egos floating around at all times in that building with verbage.

"you are so not the lawyer type...like at all. no, seriously..how are you in law school?"

good question. i get it a lot. i still can't really answer it other than to start out with "well? my parents..."

anyway, my great mood is more than obvious, isn't it?

thus, i've been trying to avoid most face-to-face interactions until this malaise of "holy fuck, i hate this" passess, so imagine my shock when i sat down in my theories of justice class and found out the format of the class is group discussion/debate.

joy.

the professor started asking questions, and naturally things kind of took on their own shade of brio...and as people interjected and interrupted and contended--like all good lawyers are trained to do, because even if you do agree, you can't let someone off without some kind of challenge and without some kind of effort to make them look retarded in front of the all mighty professor--i managed to sit in my little corner and just hide my rolling eyes behind my uber ugly green laptop. the question was "what is justice?" and for some reason the various definitions of it people gave all involved the word "god"

until the professor remembered i existed, and what sucks is that i know him from jsla and i've actually had conversations with the guy...so, unlike most of my other professors who think i'm a dumbfuck because i never bother to volunteer and i hardly ever really pay attention, he knows i have an ounce of synaptic glory going on in my head.

"e, what do you think about the whole thing?"

i look up from my laptop sporting the mighty awesome deer-in-headlights look and i ever so quietly say: "well i think the entire discussion is based upon a huge assumption that the negation of which pretty much ends the discussion." [fyi to all people in school, it seems that if you are quiet when you answer questions and hard to hear, the professor leaves you the fuck alone for the rest of the semester and for any future classes. it's mighty tough to play meek, but very much worth it if you hate talking in class like i do]

"and what assumption is that?"

"the assumption that there is a god. you can't define something concretly if you place the basic premise of that definition on something that the majority of people don't believe in to an equal and quantifiable extent, and for which there is no proof of to begin with. if you base the definition of justice on acts of divinity and devine mercy, then that justice will never apply to anyone who doesn't believe in a judeo-christian diety, or arguably to those who to believe in that kind of diety"

"then, how would you define justice?"

"some kind of act that is controlled by one person in relation to another. it's not an injustice to be a certain race, but it is an injustice when race becomes a determining factor by an employer when they hire. no one can control their race or ethnicity, but they can control how they re-act to race or ethnicity when relating to others."

"so, would you say that it's a greater injustice for an innocent person to be punished than for a group of guilty people to go unpunished?"

"i would say the greater injustice would be to let the group of guilty people go unpunished."

and that's about when my class launched a huge attack on me, and that' sabout when my lack-of-participation creed was codified in my little mind. i did, however, get one final chance to mildly defend myself against a group of twenty grade thirsty idiots:

"no one wants to assume that people aren't on a equal playing feild, but that's not pragmatic at all. justice evolves from an aggregate of morals, ethics, and standards of a people that come together to form a society, and justice is set-up as a means of protection against a breach of those morals, ethics, and standards. if ten guilty people go un-punished, then there isn't just injustice, there's no justice at all and the entire system is pointless. if one innocent person is punished, all the while those ten guilty individuals are punished too, then the innocent individual's injustice is trumped by society's overall justice in having ten guilty individuals take responsibility for their wrong."

"she's right. justice is set up by society and is usually implemented for society."

yea, that's right. take that you legal whores and bitches! the chick with the ugly ass green laptop who never says a word in any class just took y'all down. *flexes and grrrs*

right. so, after being pretty much verbally assualted by a bunch of my "asshole peers" [that's just for you wes] i went to subway to get my grub on...because nothing builds an appetite like defending yourself....and, well not eating breakfast or lunch.

i walk on into the lovely and awesomely ghetto fabulous subway, and i'm standing behind the counter filling in some paperwork for work, and i'm standing there and waiting for the dude behind the counter to put down is psp and do his fucking job...and about five minutes into me waiting he looks up and goes: "do you want something?"

"no! i just walked into a fucking subway because the purdy colors on the menu make me smile, and the disgusting yellow walls have a calming effect on me.

goddamnit! there really is an epedemic of douchebaggery, isn't there?!