it's an excuse to weak to stand on. i'm falling off, i'm falling for you to catch me. i'm afraid nothing is changing, so take this hand and rescue me.

"hello, furniture plaza this is raymond, how can i help you?"
"uh, yes, i'm callin to check the status of the order i placed on july 20th."
"sure. could you give me the order number?"
"2001005456"
"can you hold for a minute while i check?"
"sure."

[cue insanely horrible on-hold music that is really more obnoxious than sitting there and listening to silence. silence is golden, why must companies deny this so religiously and adamantly?]

"yes, i checked our computer but there's nothing showing up under that order. let me run down the hall and check with our order department. can you hold again?"
"sure."


[cue the same fucking horrible on-hold music that is even more obnoxious the second time around.]

"hello?"
"yea, i'm still here."
"i checked with our order department, and it seems yhour order is in our computer, but hasn't been processed yet. hopefully we'll get it processed by the end of the week and ship it out early next week."
"my order hasn't been processed?"
"no, it hasn't."
"so you're saying an order i placed about ten days ago, eight if you want to forgo nonbusiness days, hasn't even been entered into the computer? let alone processed and shipped?"
"well, there was a conference last week that a lot of our staff went on and a lot of people are on vacation."
"and none of that has anything to do with my order or my expectation that i would have my order in a week and a half, and not three weeks later if you perchance get to it."
"well i understand that. the only thing i can tell you is that you can cancel your order and order the product from somewhere else."
"so then you'll cover the difference between prices then?"
"what do you mean?"
"well the reason i ordered from your company is because it was the lowest price i found for the item i wanted, so if i cancel my order with you and have to order the product from somewhere else i'm going to pay more so will you cover the difference in price?"
"that's really not a possibility."
"so basically i have to pay for your incompetence? either i pay more or sit around and wait for you to process my order, which may take a while given any conventions or staff vacation times coming up."
"i understand what you're saying, but it's our policy to allow for the cancellation of an order. we don't charge until the order ships, so basically you wouldn't be paying anything."
"but as your disclaimer on the website claims, your policy is also to ship things within five business days of ordering, which means my product should have been shipped tuesday at the latest."
"yes that is also true. your only options are to cancel the order or just wait. hopefully we'll have the order processed and at your door by late next week."
"which is eight days after the date i was told i would recieve it."
"there's really not much else we can do."
"yes, there is. you could admit that this is your error and either overnight it to me at your expense or give me some kind of discount on the item."
"i can't do that."
"well then transfer me to your superior, because i'm not going to let your company's incompetance go without some kind of repercussions on your part, because all i'm seeing right now is that i'm penalized for your problems."
"ok. i'll give you 50% off, fed ex it overnight at no additional cost, and you should have it by monday at the latest."
"and if i don't have it by monday?"
"you'll have it by monday."
"i hope so, for your sake raymond, because if that room divider isn't sitting and waiting for me by 5pm on monday i would worry. and so there is no renegging on your part, i have an audio recording of the offer you just gave me."
"it will be there monday."
"good. thanks so much! bye bye!"

and that's how i fuckin roll....biatch!