freedom is a cage, no sun and too much rage, i know the normal is hard to fake. fear is in my heart and i can never live this way. i lost again today.

apparently i fail to fall within the scope of reality...i'm just a stubborn bitch who refuses to compromise the integrity of her "baby," and see the funtastic bigger picture.

and by "baby" i mean this blog.

yup. the personna of supposed bitch i personify in this here site is compromising to my future career which won't commence for two years, and thus, i can't have a face shot up on here...

i can't have my name anywhere on this blog...

i can't say where i'm from with any specificity...

errr, well..i shouldn't.

and, taking a total guess here, but i'm going to presume that engaging in hnt is the faux pas of the century and is a step beyond "shouldn't."

accordingly, my inability to understand the horrible implications of my personality, my tits which are no more exposed than they would be in a beach photograph, and my profuse swearing...all seems to come down to one single fact that never even crossed my mind when the entire issue was brought up: i don't want to change my blog.

fuck the fact i'm not huge on self-censoring, fuck the fact i use this as my outlet for a lot of shit, fuck the fact i'm human...

it all comes down to the fact i'm proud of this blog...

not myself...and it certainly has nothing to do with being myself. nope. it's all about the ego of this here creation...

i understand that the world has turned into a smashingly fun game, and getting a job has turned from the honest and good faith word of references and a resume to this unfounded game of cat and mouse where employers will use any slight no-no as a reason to abstain from giving you employment--heaven forbid you tarnish their squeeky clean image, right? they do that well enough on their own it seems [see: enron, qualcomm, arthur anderson, tyson, etc....all companies that pretty much committed the biggest no-no imaginable and there was no prolific language, no tits, and no google search that would shed light onto the goings-on of their lovely and awesome debacles]

i know full-well that it's not illegal to refuse soemone employment based on a google search [however, firing someone for non slanderous content yeilded by a google search is], and it's not a far-off assumption to guess that anybody in a suite and an office with a window wouldn't be thrilled to read whatever i have here.

i think the words used to describe here were "militant," "queen bitch," "wrought with swear words," "not any facet of the real you,"....you get the idea.

and who would hire someone who, though getting her degrees and being competent, is as militant as me, and who can use the word "fuck" in almost any context, at any point in time, without even thinking twice?

but, i'm really not as dumb as i look...and a google search of my full name (i'm talking full name here people, which only one of you knows) doesn't bring up anything more than my high school choir yearbook photo. same with yahoo and msn.

that's not good enough, though.

so fuck it...i'll continue the path of doing as i'm told and telling my desire and occasional sapience to wallow in the proverbial fuck-off area so that any individual won't be shocked and appalled to google my name and perhchance find this piece-of-shit on the web and suffer eye spasms after enduring the copious amount of profanity i use. nope, my future employer won't find the "queen bitch" i so desperately try to portray, he won't see my tits glaring back at him from his monitor--though that might help me get a job--and he won't have to worry about my ability to flawlessly integrate into the be-all-you-can-be-but-on-our-terms corporate world. he'll find nothing at all about me.

and i quote: "be human, but do it anonymously."

fair enough.

no full name, no picture, no location....and i'm sure soon enough i'll have to move the blog to another url so people won't read it with the knowledge that i wrote... and then i'll have to take it down altogether so secure my position as yet another corporate whore.

sentience is so overrated, huh?

in other lovely news i saw the most bomb ass movie today. oh yes...the queen of stupid, idiotic, retarded movies has found yet another to add to her collection and has a whole new shit-ton of quotes to say at the most opportune and inopportune times.

that's right! talladega nights: the ballad of ricky bobby is fucking awesome...and if you hear me saying shit like:

• "when i wake up in the morning i piss excellence!"
• "help me jesus! help me tom cruise! tom cruise, use your witchcraft to get the fire off of me!"
• "i can't keep my heart rate down! i got a cougar on me!"
• "i'm too drunk to taste the chicken!"
• "i'm jacked up on mountain dew!"
• "SHAKE AND BAKE!! it's got two verbs and it rhymes!"
  

just smile and nod at me, or maybe flatter me with a laugh, k?

just like we do when i randomly quote super troopers, or dodgeball, or old skool...or any adam sandler movie. thanks!

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if you have a soul, or just give enough of a shit to see my blog the way i see it, feel free to download this font , because i've spent the last three hours trying to embed the font code so that it automatically uploaded to anyone using internet explorer (...happy firefox haters?!), and i'm fucking retarded so it no work.

and then i tried doing a little image action, so that an image showed and i wouldn't have to worry about the font not showing...and it looked shitty and it drove me fucking insane trying to make things more clear with photoshop which in general makes me want to go on a killing spree, let alone when i'm doing something specific...

so...you can either revel in the plain font that is most likely showing on your screen, or you can download the font , put it in your font folder, and, instead, revel in having a funky ass mother fuckin font to use as you wish.

the choice is yours