a snuggle-buddy escort service.
yea, you laugh...but hear me out. i've been single for a while...like over two years kind of long...and there are things i miss about being with someone. yea, i miss having someone to talk to...someone to share shit with..and yes, i miss having someone to boink and be a total slut for, and i really really fucking miss having someone to do sickeningly cute things for and go out of my way for....
*points to her picnic basket* yea, i want to cook up a storm and go use that....so un-me huh?!
but the one thing i miss above all else, the one thing i seriously ache for is to have someone sleeping next to me. having someone there when i wake up, having someone snuggled up all next to me with his arm stretched over me and serving as a pillow for my face......or getting as close as possible to him, and putting my head on his chest, my leg over him..and sleeping in total comfort.
G-D! i miss that. g-d i'm sick in the head!
and don't give me that bullshit about that "man pillow" where it's a body size pillow with an arm that you can sprawl on over you. it's not the same. there's no weight to it. there's no breathing on your neck....there's nothing more than a stuffed arm.
i'd seriously pay to just feel the weight of someone on top of me. he doesn't have to anything..just lay on top of me.
thus? i propose the snuggle buddy escort service..where rather than paying for someone to "escort" you around and gratify you in whatever fucked up and kinky way you may perchance have......you pay for someone to come over and sleep with you.
no sex.
just sleep with you, and cuddle up to you, and keep you warm, and hold you, and just make the waking up process a little less lonely than it's come to be.
and because i really have nothing else to talk about, i'm posting this picture:
why? because i think the look on my puppy's face is beyond hillarious. that is the face of being owned....holla!
22 comments:
you know where to find your man pillow if you come to san diego.
and yeah, that dog = pwned
but will he bring me coffee in the morning?
If I'm ever in Cleveland, I'll be your cuddle buddy. Though I'm not very warm. One rule though...keep your cold feet to yourself..LOL.
*sigh*
I know how you feel.
cute dog.....
*sigh*
I'd offer my services but:
1. I'm too heavy and my weight on top of you would kill you LOL
2. I'm too fucking far away
and it sucks too ... cuz I wanna raid yer picnic basket ;)
Is that something you'd really feel gratification from after paying for it?
Sign me up please.
So, let me get this right...
You want a service where a man just comes over and sleeps with you, sans sex, and wakes up with you in the morning?
There already is a service like that...
It's called marriage.
Matt: sure the wife wouldn't mind?! ;)
Le chat qui a peur: for a charge haha
Chris: ahh in that case we have an issue, because i'm an ice cube when i sleep
Kristen: wanna be my snugglebuddy?!
Dzer: raid the picnic basket..all this cooking is bad for my diet!
Hubris: yes. next question please :)
Wes: i have you at 11pm..on thursday.
Sotto Voce: no no, it's only marriage when it's the woman's choice to not have sex...if it's the guys choice, or a mutual understanding it ain't happening, isn't that..umm...sleep buddies?
Pyro: don't care..long as it's constant and i fall asleep first :D
i think the snuggle-buddy was done in Pretty Woman, except after making all her dough, she fell in love with him! Luckily he comes back in the limo at the end.
Either way it sounds like I am not getting laid...typical.
I think him making coffee should be part of the equation.
Just to throw in that I've been with the same man for near onto 9 years now and I wake up alone.
He gets up at 4am.
I sleep till 5am.
So no, it's not marriage.... I'd pay for your snuggle escort service, hell I'll help start and finance... but we need to make sure he's willing to get up and brew the coffee in the morning too, oh and definitely maybe a morning shower together.
Buttah, the whole breathing in your face/neck thing though, hmmm... not too sure about that. :)
Johnny: but i'm not as cool as julia roberts, see the problem?
Sotto: yea, i'm not getting laid either haha..damnit
Em: haha like when you can faintly feel their breath on the back of your neck? i think i've reached the point of "single for too long" huh? pining for weird ass shit
MJ: second to only yours right?! =P
Mind, you kiddin? We'll make an Elle sandwich.
I'll be your snuggle buddy.......
aww.........I love putting my cold feet on his warm body
A snuggle buddy would be something. But would you have to pay extra to kick them out of bed if they cramp your space too much and get all stinky breath in your face?
Hey Blondie, MIA long? :P Are you back for good this time? I don't think I can stand another heartbreak...
And Dude with a capital D my AIM is being shitful, hence you haven't been able to chat lovingly to me lately. An upgrade may be in order.
Uh Yeah Where do enlist .
I love to cuddle and I am only a little over a hundred miles south of you .
Cute dog..... Does he bite cuddling strange men who sleep next to his master ?
Ok most guys will not admit this because they wanna seem all lovey dovey and sensitive. But to tell you the truth most if not all men would have an extremely HARD time JUST cuddling with any woman that looks even half as good as you.
Maybe if it was their job it would be different. So it may work. But then again you can always staff your business with really hot looking gay men who like to cook and make coffee. Then it will probably work!
I like cuddle buddies too, I had one till he got a gf *bastard* he was a good one too :) I tried to explain this concept to my friend who has a hard time sleeping with anyone she doesn't know really well; she didn't get it.
I personally can sleep almost anywhere given it's clean :) and sniggles are great! I love that feeling. snoring we might have issue with; if you start the service they have to come with a snoring/no snoring label k?
I now have a huge teddy bear with a necklace that says cuddle buddie on it (gift from frrom above) I love it; he is soo snuggly but just not the same as a warm body :) I still luv him tho; he's soft :)
Good luck with a snuggle partner. Some men just don't get the sans sex thing :P
I would be happy to lay on top of you. Anytime, anyplace.
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