sorry if i'm ever short on faith-i never liked to work on holidays. i'm well aware its fantasy, but i'm a true romantic. it's one habit i cannot kick.

fucked up occurence numero uno:
i was walking to class, which is way more of a pain in the ass than it should be on account of them blocking off the entire westbound side of euclid avenue, and what do i see as i approach e 18th and the shitty school of business?

a woman trying to fucking parallel park her escalade.

and what did i do? comment and laugh my ass of, of course....and around attempt number three on her part, i guess the lady got pissed off at the fact she's a shitty driver who has no business driving a beast of a car she can't park, and at the fact i was sitting there laughing my ass off and giving a play by play to the person i was on the phone with....leapt out of her car and flat out said "i want to see you park it, if you think it's so damn easy!"

so, i looked at the spot, got into her car....adjusted her mirrors so they did more than show the sides of the car--as amazingly gorgeous as they are, they don't really help much when you drive, moved the seat back a smidgen...and?

got it in the spot....on the first try...like a mother fuckin' glove.

fucked up occurence, part deux:

while we're taking our final in class, a phone starts to go off. people look around to see where the noise is coming from, myself included, and...ta dow! it's the asshole sitting in front of me. now, most people in that kind of situation would probably apologize, push whatever button makes the ringer stop, ignore the phone call, and then put the phone on silent.

what does he do? he picks up the goddamn phone and has a conversation. not once does he mention he's in the middle of a final..and not once does it occur to him that he's having a fucking exchange in the middle of a final. nope...that's all just ambiance to whatever conversation was so important that it couldn't wait and required interupting fifteen peoples thought process and test taking experience.

fucked up occurence the sequel...because rounding it out to a trifecta of fucked is just cute.

you're walking. it's a beautiful sixty five degrees outside, around ten o'clock at night. everything is silent, and you're minding your own business when this hideous horrible beast approaches you.

you freak out..you scream...you yell out whatever expletives can manage to overcome your fear and fall of your tongue. once the initial petrification wears off, you make a mad dash away..only to find that the horrendous animal is still vying for your attention. you run faster..and thank god the wretched thing loses interest and proceeds to run gleefully in the opposite direction.

what does this hideous, horrible, wretched beast look like? this:

yup. threatening isn't she? i think i'd be more scared of whatever shitty prize awaits me in my breakfast cereal, than of whatever this little bundle of joy could inflict upon me. regardless, while i was letting the puppino run around a little bit before bed, this guy walked by...saw her running around a good thirty feet away and flipped the fuck out.

look, i know people are scared of dogs...but yelling and running away is just not a good way to stay conspicious. the goal is to not draw attention to yourself...and becoming an audible and moving target is probably the last thing you want to do.

but that's besides the point. look at her!! she's about as threatening as a fruit fly!

people are so fucking weird.