why study and do something productive and potentially life-affecting when one can..blog!
so, instead of sitting here and bitching about the uniform commercial code, which i assure you i could do insanely well at the moment, i'll just give you a little something i like to call:
little known facts about me...da e.
1. i sleep with a stuffed dog. oh yes, i'm twenty-three fucking years old, and every night as i slumber i have a stuffed animal placed gently in my left arm that i do not let go of at all during the night. and no, when a guy is in my bed he doesn't disappear and magically go away. oh no! he returns to the shelter of my left arm whenever the "activities" are finished and it's time for sleep. i've slept with him since day one of my life...before i was even cognizant of life...and i have a feeling he's going to be the staple of my slumber experience for years to come. regardless, he'll be the focus of an unpcoming post, so i'll spare you the details of our life together :)
2. think of a color...any color....odds are my hair has been that color...probably on more than just one occassion.
3. i used to figure skate. oh yes, laugh it up my bitches..it's not something i'm proud of...but, i dawned those girly little skirt-ish outfits with the colored panty hose that are about as thick as spandex, and skated to my heart's content..pulling double axles and all that fuckin jazz. the only reason i did it was because it was the only way my mom would let me play hockey :)
4. i've never put myself before someone else. this particularly applies to needs, expectations, and courses of action.
5. when i was eight years old, i wrote a novel for my fourth grade english class. the requirement was a twenty page "thing" that we bound and created a cover for. mine wound up being one-hundred fifty pages and it was about a girl who was haunted by a ghost living in her swanky london apartment. the ghost fell in love with her, killed her boyfriend, and hunted her down no matter where she moved or went, so basically she had to kill herself to rid herself of this funtastic ghost. oh yes, i thought of that at the age of eight (guess letting eight year olds read dostoevsky lends itself to such uhm things?)....and oh hell yes it was utter crap..but it's still a pretty good feat for an eight year old, huh?
6. crustaceans scare the fucking shit out of me.
7. every guy that i've spent a significant amount of time with and had an emotional attachment to, i knew. i get this strange feeling in my tummy within the first ten minutes of meeting the guy, and if it's there..i know that he's going to be a significant part of my life--for better or for worse (although worse is generally how it seems to go). i know it makes no sense, i know it seems completely illogical...but that feeling has never been wrong, and it's never presented itself falsely.
8. contrary to popular belief, i'm really shy and i'm really quiet.
9. i rarely get pissed off. seriously, it takes a damn near miracle to push me over the edge into just being so pissed off that i can't shrug it off, or take a deep breath and tuck it back in the back of mind for reference within a few hours. to really piss me off it takes seriously hurting my pride in some way shape or form (including relentless shit talking about my family, friends, faith, etc), or just repeatedly doing the same shit over and over again knowing full well it drives me nuts. if someone does happen to piss me off, they can die for all i care--i won't talk to them willingl or put any effort into anything having to do with them. that said, i'd still help them out with anything and especially in times of need.
10. i had six major surgeries between the ages of fifteen and eighteen...the longest was twelve hours, the shortest five hours.
11. i have a fantastic memory. my father attributes this to the fact that we played the game "memory" for hours upon hours each day when i was a toddler, and the fact i come from a long line of pretty intelligent people (present family, outside of my immediate, excluded..seems to have skipped those generations) whatever it is, i can remember to the most minute detail most conversations i have with people, lectures, music lyrics, movie lines etc (if i'm paying attention, that is), and i can visualize the text on specific pages of a book containing the information i need to recall. i suppose that means i have a photographic memory, of sorts...but it seems that my camera runs out of film at the most random, and crucial, moments.
12. getting a straight answer out of me is damn near impossible.
13. i've mentioned this before, in passing, but when i was thirteen i was diagnosed with scoliosis and was required to wear a back brace for two and half years in the hopes that it would prevent the curve in my spine from getting worse, along with the ancillary effect of preventing me from having my spine fused as a result of the degree of my curve. mission accomplished, surgery avoided, and self esteem forever shattered in light of other events that happened in my life at the that time, moving to a new location, and no one being able to see past the plastic thing i had to wear in my new school.
14. my first car was a 1990 toyota camry which i named "toad," and at speeds exceeding eight-five miles per hour, she would actually get airborn and float.
16. i believe in ghosts, spirits, and souls outside of the fact i have no real reason not to (even though the converse is also true and i have no reason to believe), i've had some strange shit happen. for example--when i was fifteen i had a dream that i was watching a white room that had nothing going on, when all of a sudden my grandma appeared out of nowhere, walked straight up to the area where i was "looking" in, and said "tell your mother that i'm okay. tell her that i'm happy and free. please elka, tell her. " i woke up all freaked out, looked at the clock and saw it was around 11:00pm. that morning, my father walked into my room and told me that grandma died last night and our flight was leaving soon. my mother, later, told me that my grandma died at 10:30pm. coincidence? it could very well be, but somehow i can't seem to brush it off as such.
17. i've sky dived five times, bungee jumped twice, and base jumped once.
18. i've always had issues wit my body. i know i'm not fat and for all intents and purposes i'm average weight given my height, but i just hate my body style. i hate the fact i have broad shoulders, big tits, big hips, long legs, and no torso. i hate the fact i'm not a little dainty fuckin waif like most girls...i have substance to me--for lack of a better word: i'm thick..i'm proportionate and all that shit, so i can't really complain, and i've become pretty okay with my body style in the past year or so, but if i knew i could starve it all away and be a dainty waif, i would. no questions asked. if for nothing else than to see if it would change my luck with guys.
19. i have had plastic surgery. i've never had anything nip, tucked, augmented, reduced, injected or anything like that, but i've had a plastic surgeon do work on me (see number ten), so that means i've had plastic surgery.
20. i'm competitive and ambitious as all fucking hell, which isn't really shocking i know...but the one thing out of life that i want more than anything is something that being competitive, ambitious, hard working, diligent, and disciplined is inconsequential to with regard to its occurance. that one thing is: kids. i may not be able to have kids, and the thought of that just fucking kills me...but? if that's what it is..then that's what it is and i'll go from there..but, everything else in my life is superfluous to the unyeilding desire i have to have children someday.
anyway..'tis hnt so....i present to you the follow-up to last weeks glowing titties in a baby-doll shot...oh yes, it's my big ol' hips showcased for y'all to see. told ya i've got substance to me. russian women: strong like ox! dumb like tractor. holla!
2. think of a color...any color....odds are my hair has been that color...probably on more than just one occassion.
3. i used to figure skate. oh yes, laugh it up my bitches..it's not something i'm proud of...but, i dawned those girly little skirt-ish outfits with the colored panty hose that are about as thick as spandex, and skated to my heart's content..pulling double axles and all that fuckin jazz. the only reason i did it was because it was the only way my mom would let me play hockey :)
4. i've never put myself before someone else. this particularly applies to needs, expectations, and courses of action.
5. when i was eight years old, i wrote a novel for my fourth grade english class. the requirement was a twenty page "thing" that we bound and created a cover for. mine wound up being one-hundred fifty pages and it was about a girl who was haunted by a ghost living in her swanky london apartment. the ghost fell in love with her, killed her boyfriend, and hunted her down no matter where she moved or went, so basically she had to kill herself to rid herself of this funtastic ghost. oh yes, i thought of that at the age of eight (guess letting eight year olds read dostoevsky lends itself to such uhm things?)....and oh hell yes it was utter crap..but it's still a pretty good feat for an eight year old, huh?
6. crustaceans scare the fucking shit out of me.
7. every guy that i've spent a significant amount of time with and had an emotional attachment to, i knew. i get this strange feeling in my tummy within the first ten minutes of meeting the guy, and if it's there..i know that he's going to be a significant part of my life--for better or for worse (although worse is generally how it seems to go). i know it makes no sense, i know it seems completely illogical...but that feeling has never been wrong, and it's never presented itself falsely.
8. contrary to popular belief, i'm really shy and i'm really quiet.
9. i rarely get pissed off. seriously, it takes a damn near miracle to push me over the edge into just being so pissed off that i can't shrug it off, or take a deep breath and tuck it back in the back of mind for reference within a few hours. to really piss me off it takes seriously hurting my pride in some way shape or form (including relentless shit talking about my family, friends, faith, etc), or just repeatedly doing the same shit over and over again knowing full well it drives me nuts. if someone does happen to piss me off, they can die for all i care--i won't talk to them willingl or put any effort into anything having to do with them. that said, i'd still help them out with anything and especially in times of need.
10. i had six major surgeries between the ages of fifteen and eighteen...the longest was twelve hours, the shortest five hours.
11. i have a fantastic memory. my father attributes this to the fact that we played the game "memory" for hours upon hours each day when i was a toddler, and the fact i come from a long line of pretty intelligent people (present family, outside of my immediate, excluded..seems to have skipped those generations) whatever it is, i can remember to the most minute detail most conversations i have with people, lectures, music lyrics, movie lines etc (if i'm paying attention, that is), and i can visualize the text on specific pages of a book containing the information i need to recall. i suppose that means i have a photographic memory, of sorts...but it seems that my camera runs out of film at the most random, and crucial, moments.
12. getting a straight answer out of me is damn near impossible.
13. i've mentioned this before, in passing, but when i was thirteen i was diagnosed with scoliosis and was required to wear a back brace for two and half years in the hopes that it would prevent the curve in my spine from getting worse, along with the ancillary effect of preventing me from having my spine fused as a result of the degree of my curve. mission accomplished, surgery avoided, and self esteem forever shattered in light of other events that happened in my life at the that time, moving to a new location, and no one being able to see past the plastic thing i had to wear in my new school.
14. my first car was a 1990 toyota camry which i named "toad," and at speeds exceeding eight-five miles per hour, she would actually get airborn and float.
16. i believe in ghosts, spirits, and souls outside of the fact i have no real reason not to (even though the converse is also true and i have no reason to believe), i've had some strange shit happen. for example--when i was fifteen i had a dream that i was watching a white room that had nothing going on, when all of a sudden my grandma appeared out of nowhere, walked straight up to the area where i was "looking" in, and said "tell your mother that i'm okay. tell her that i'm happy and free. please elka, tell her. " i woke up all freaked out, looked at the clock and saw it was around 11:00pm. that morning, my father walked into my room and told me that grandma died last night and our flight was leaving soon. my mother, later, told me that my grandma died at 10:30pm. coincidence? it could very well be, but somehow i can't seem to brush it off as such.
17. i've sky dived five times, bungee jumped twice, and base jumped once.
18. i've always had issues wit my body. i know i'm not fat and for all intents and purposes i'm average weight given my height, but i just hate my body style. i hate the fact i have broad shoulders, big tits, big hips, long legs, and no torso. i hate the fact i'm not a little dainty fuckin waif like most girls...i have substance to me--for lack of a better word: i'm thick..i'm proportionate and all that shit, so i can't really complain, and i've become pretty okay with my body style in the past year or so, but if i knew i could starve it all away and be a dainty waif, i would. no questions asked. if for nothing else than to see if it would change my luck with guys.
19. i have had plastic surgery. i've never had anything nip, tucked, augmented, reduced, injected or anything like that, but i've had a plastic surgeon do work on me (see number ten), so that means i've had plastic surgery.
20. i'm competitive and ambitious as all fucking hell, which isn't really shocking i know...but the one thing out of life that i want more than anything is something that being competitive, ambitious, hard working, diligent, and disciplined is inconsequential to with regard to its occurance. that one thing is: kids. i may not be able to have kids, and the thought of that just fucking kills me...but? if that's what it is..then that's what it is and i'll go from there..but, everything else in my life is superfluous to the unyeilding desire i have to have children someday.
anyway..'tis hnt so....i present to you the follow-up to last weeks glowing titties in a baby-doll shot...oh yes, it's my big ol' hips showcased for y'all to see. told ya i've got substance to me. russian women: strong like ox! dumb like tractor. holla!
and just to make shit a little less "ewwww, e..that's gross, seriously cover up"...have a pic of me and my poochie....and let me just ask this: why the fuck does dark skin always look fuckin oily in pictures?!! i swear, i have to seriously powder the shit out of myself so i don't fuckin shine in pics.
30 comments:
I sleep with a pound puppy..........his name his Wags and i've had him since I was 7
Awesome pics.........
Happy HNT
I was first to comment!!!!
Hey, where's the mindfuck one I told you to put in?!
Good stuff. Number ten kinda floored me though.
See, you ARE interesting.
Holy crap...It's too early in the morning for that pic...I almost had a heart attack. Wow, Elly-Elle :) Both pics otally rock...and I love the ranty itemized post and all. Hair color... ahhh an addiction. I have been good for months now. My hair is still recouping from the monthly changes. But I am sooo tempted to get pink highlights.
-N
Damn Elle, that pic is pure sensuality. Love it! Oh um the fisrt pic... I don't actually find anything sensual about the second one. #2 does get many cuteness points though:)
Good luck on your final!
HH
i suddenly feel compelled to go jerk off. thanks elle.
Um, morning wood will officially be all day wood now.
it's now official ... I know you much more than I even know myself now LOL
and ... *clears throat*
hummina-hummina-hummina
Alright so I was all about you and your-ness... But then the pictures came and I had to sit and think....
about which toy to use.
is that an airstrip in that picture.. who takes these pictures?
am i'm going to steal your dog.
i think i say this for everyone.. we're disappointed who didn't go pro with figure skating.
Don't knock yourself, Elle. You look great! BTW, you don't look oily. You look glowy.
Skydiving, base jumping, and bungee jumping??!! I'm jealous!
HHNT!
Kristen: mines a pound puppy too! my bro gave him to me...but, as i said, he's the topic of an upcoming post so i'll keep the rest on the d/l
Hedge: i was to tired to actually mind fuck...i could go for a real fuck though...*wink wink nudge nudge*
MJ: awww :( i'm sorry. i can't prentend to know how it feels to know, but the speculation is enough to make my heart cry for you :(
Nat: it really is an addiction. once you start with the hair-dying it's impossible to stop, i'm convinced. i had a good three years where i left it alone, and now it's back to fucking with it constantly. least it's still super soft and healthy =P Pink highlights? i'm jealous! blonde is as risque as i can go..uch, damn work.
Hubris: final is...complete :) YAY!!! and you think i'm sensual? me? hah. wow. you just made my wee little day!
Pearl: thank ye kindly! it's tough not being a size two i-resemble-a-12-year-old-boy girl. sometimes i love the ol curves, sometimes i hate 'em.
Shane: be sure to bottle that shit, and ship it my way. can't have you wasting any of that precious, delicious, goodness.
Matt: is that anyway for a blog bro to talk to his blog sis?!! we ain't in arkansas no more, yeeee haw!
Em: g-spot vibrator=no! that fuckin thing scares the shit out of me. i just can't seem to bring myself to throw it out on account of the fact it's a purdy light lavendar purple.
Will: hah! that's all i have to say to that. really. hahaha i heart you :)
Guerilla: i did it in bankgok..if you go, look for some crazy australian's in the middle of town and they'll lead the way. i really want to do it off that bridge in malaysia, but that's a once a year occurance, and i'm one poor little ho.
Johnny: landing strip? fuck no. i don't brazillian so i can have a fuckin landing strip.
Trix: i lasted a good 4 years until i told my mom it was a no-go. stuck with hockey though!
Jenny: come on over, i'll take you skydiving and base jumping. bungee jumping isn't really my thang though, but i'll go again i guess.
Whoa!
You're smokin.
I don't link you as buttery goodness for nothing. Glad to have made your day ;) peace babe.
Baby, you're a hottie. No doubt
Jerk: um, why thank you!
Hubris: buttery goodness..haha if only i had known what "da butta" would become ;)
Anon: shpank ye
ok ... migrated here via trixie's bated breath... then started reading... and reading... and loving it
on top of all that, there's this smokin' shot of your body.. actually, lots of them as far as I can tell...
you look great, write well, make me laugh, and make me close my eyes and ... well, those are my thoughts
~peace~
it kills me that you don't think you're hot.. but i totally get it.
nonetheless? you so are.
Congrats on your last final! Call me crazy but I kinda loved Sales and the UCC. Ok yeah for sure, call me crazy.
I sleep with a stuffed bear. Given to me by my first boyfriend. After years of seeing boys come and go, he's still my faithful bedtime companion, and as such, he is all kinds of wonky! But I've decided I'll keep him until the day I get married.
Also, I agree with Sass. You're hot. And your dog is precious-cute!
"12. getting a straight answer out of me is damn near impossible."
LOL Damn that sounds like how my family and people feel about me. My family HATES asking me anything because they basically have to pull teeth to get an answer. Nothing wrong with the pound puppy! I've got a Tigger next to me when I sleep.
lol why do I feel I need to delete my internet history before my wife logs on?
The whole sister / brother thing went right out the window while looking at that picture there.
(I'm typing this from Arkansas - git over here and get'er done!)
Jericho: thanks! stop by anytime, my dear.
Sass: it's a woman thingi think.
Jmai: it's just so much more comfortable to sleep with a stuffed animal than without. i think..but i'm thinking in a few years it's going to go from "cute" to "psychotic" hehe
Missy: people just stop asking me questions eventually haha...or just figure out how to read into what i say more. but, there's never a black and white answer. NEVER!! so how can i answer thusly?
Jabberstud: ohhh, she can join in ;)
Acecold: thank you, and i think i actually did okay on that final. but? i don't give a shit anymore
Matt: haha git'r'done! HOLLA!
elle i think it totally is...
also? *huggs* just because
i get huggs?!!
YAY!!!
i explained it to my jake's girlfriend a few weeks ago, because she just didn't understand why i had body issues. it basically went something like "ari, you're a size 5, right? and you still sit there thinking you need to lose weight, right? now drop 3 inches in height bump yourself up to an 8-10..and then look around at the girls who are your size bitching about being a 5, and there you go...unhappy me."
Why did you have that many surgeries?
OMG!
You're one of those kickass Bionic people huh?
Sweet!
No wonder you're a hottie, they don't waste 6 mil to make ugly Bionic people.
Who would wanna watch THAT show?
You are a hottie!! Hope you are doing well!!
XXOO,
JTL
nice pic cutie!!
Pretty face and great bod. What's there to feel insecure about? And even a cute dog!
My sympathy to you regarding the scoliosis. My spine is curved incorrectly also--but fortunately high enough so that it's only an occasional problem. I'm sure it was quite a difficult thing to bear, wearing that brace in school.
Ah, I see, in my haste to skip to the end and see if the hero gets the girl I missed the surgery explaination.
Hey, I gotta keep the Jerkness flowin yo.
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