maybe i feel detatched, i may just look too shy, but it's just disinterest not that i'm a timid gal. it's the social glare, and i feel the attitude

let me just start out by giving a big shout and a hearty "fuck you" to the inevitable patch of hair that is always there after i shave. what the fuck is your problem?! are you too good to be cropped off by five tightly packed razorblades and concurrent moisturizing strip? i thank you for making my leg touching experience totally smooth, regardless of your presence...but you make me want to go absolutely ape shit when i apply my moisturizer and see a strip of hair that just didn't fucking comply, and thus am forced to do the "dry shave". damn you, oh smiting hair folicles, damn you!

oh!...and...why do jeans shrink when you wash them? i appreciate a pair of jeans that are tight enough to kind of suck your shit in for you, and kind of smooth things out to make some nice lines and accentuate curves (i.e. my huge hips) just as much as the next girl...but jesus christ. i dread washing my goddamn jeans because they go from super loose..to uber theres-a-little-roll-now-when-you-sit tight somewhere in between the gentle cycle and a low heat dry. and no..i didn't gain weight in between wearing them last night, and putting them on this morning after i washed them.

okay..last tidbit of random shit: i'm having a fantastic eyelash day--perfect slight upward curl at the top, each eyelash defined, and long enough to reach just below my eyebrows when i do the bug-eye full open. perfection. too bad it's totally wasted on fucking school.....why can't they do this when i go out?

(total aside..how cool are these tinted contacts? brown eyes are way better than a muddle brownish green mess, no?)

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alright...anyway! the non-sequitur topic du jour is: morning breath.

i can deal with blanket stealing, taking up the entire bed, impinging on my pillow, and using me as a personal stuffed animal no matter how uncomfortable the positioning might be for me. i can deal with the tossing and turning, the sheets becoming so entagled i'm trapped but he's cozy, and them putting the full weight of their head on my head (and yes..that rocks, until the guy passes out and it seems like their body weight is squishing your head)

i can even deal with snoring..and i can especially deal with a little morning wood brushing up against me..because that i rather enjoy.

but...morning breath. that's just....that's? uch....it's a tough one.

i understand that i'm a girl, and that by natural positioning of the awesome cuddle, my head is below his..and i'm inhaling his breath (mmm nummy)..and, i have to admit..that the general scent of the mighty exhaled air has taken on a general tone of comfort in my mind. i'm a sleep whore....put someone next to me and i sleep like a baby. sleeping with someone (and i mean sleeping in the actual rem-cycle sense..not the insert-penis-here sense) is probably one of the few times i feel completely safe and comfortably vulnerable.

but, somewhere between drinking, smoking, and not really brushing your teeth/listerining before bed....morning breath rears it's ugly head...and it's one fucking hell of a conundrum.

now, before y'all get all "well you have the same fuckin' thing going on after a night of drinking and smoking" on my ass..let me just say that..i am an oral hygiene nut. oh yes...i chew gum pretty much *all* the time, i brush three times a day, floss twice a day...and i can't really sleep unless i've brushed my teeth or rinsed my mouth out with listerine or any of it's fantastic sibling products. and, as an added bonus to those who have to talk to me in the morning..i sleep with my mouth closed...so? my morning breath isn't as whiskey-beer-and-cigarette-tastic as you'd think. (tee hee)

and even still..the conundrum of morning breath isn't dealing with my own..it's dealing with theirs. so, you're sitting there..snuggled up in a morning "oh hello there" daze, you're head perfectly placed under his own...arms and legs entwined...blankets no longer separating you...just naked you up against naked him.....and you take a deep breath and revel in how comfortable you are...and?

stinky. mephitic. noxious, even. yeech!

i mean..it's a tough spot to be in! do you suck it up and play the mind-over-matter game? do you deny yourself the potentially greatest feeling--the morning snuggle--and move? do you require them to get out of bed and do something about it? do you place mints in your nightstand and casually lean over, grab them..and offer one?!

and then, beyond that, what do you do when kissing becomes inevitable? do you just say "fuck it," enter the home of the revolting, with your tongue nonetheless, go with the mood and take advantage of the reason morning wood is one of my favorite things? or do you deny yourself the awesomeness that is morning sex?

thus i pose: you're in bed all nuzzled up with the breath equivalent of a garbage dumster...what do you do?! WHAT! DO! YOU! DO?!!

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anyway!!....'tis HNT up in this lovely bitch....and because i'm still fairly fuckin irritated by yesterday's events, i figure this is as good a pic as any to post....a lil fuck you with some titty fun courtesy of my celly cell

for those of you who were retarded enough to have given me your number, or unfortunate enough to be in my phone book (either or..i look at it from both views), odds are you've seen this awe inspiring peice of cellular phone photography...so to you, i offer this:

nothing says comofort like a sarong..and nothing says happy hnt like a cropped off head, a ghetto fabulous couch, and boob minimizing attire....am i right?!

happy htn y'all! i'm off to the 212...well..okay..fine..the 718 for the weekend. holla!