while my job hunt for something a bit more permanent than the current "job" i have now continues--though i love getting paid under the table and tax free, job security is a force to be reckoned with, and yes, i'm a glutton for pain..and two full time jobs and summer school is the plan i'm sticking to for this summer ( the bmw will be mine, goddamnit!)--it seemed rather fate-esque that my friend matthew called me yesterday afternoon while i was making my "apply, apply, apply" attack plan through downtown cleveland, and lakewood.
matthew is the guy who taught me all there is to bartending--which, if you've ever done it, you know it's really fuckin easy...BUT! he is, for lack of a better word, the man...and he knows just about everyone worth knowing in ye olde c-town. not to mention he knows more about wine than i ever thought humanely possible..seriously, i see him maybe once a month or so..but every fucking time i'm just in utter awe of how much he knows about wine. anyway, he and i got to talking..chit chatted a bit..and then the reason for his call surfaced: "would you be interested in teaching?"
-teaching?
-yes. teaching.
-you want me to teach bartending?
-yea, why not? you got a 100% on all your tests..you know you're shit, you're fun and personable...you take the shit tegan and i give voluntarily...so, you're the first one i thought of. why not get paid to deal with us!?
-flattery my dear boy, god love you. yea, i fuckin rock..i know
-lets not get carried away here..so would you be interested in seeing what it's all about? the money isn't stupendous, but it's fun as shit
-sure, but do you realize how fucking funny this is?
-negative ghostrider. failing to see the funny aspect of me offering you a shitty job with me and the tegan
-oh, yea! i still temp at blah-bar.
-what?! how?..dude! why?
-i can't find a permanent job. it seems unless you're in some seventh level crack ring, you can't get a job downtown...and everywhere else they say i'm too young, or that i don't have enough experience. yea no shit i don't have enough experience, how am i supposed to get it if the assholes don't hire me?
-that's fucking retarded. you're a chick, you got tata's, and you can mix a drink. what the fuck else is there?
-the whole crack whore bit?
-you really need to work on that..
blah blah blah...god bless his soul, he gave me some places to go check out for jobs...so see how that goes...regardless, it amuses the shit out of me that i can't find anything more than a "our real bartender is sick/out/didn't show, mind coming down" job (which for a while was every weekend...i mean, why employ people who are never there and you have to import me for?!) because i lack that bullshit "real world" experience the restaurant industry seem to cling to for dear fucking life (and no offense, i can totally see why. not like you need a degree to get in the 'biz, so without experience what else do you have to show you are worth their money?); yet the people who have trained and do train almost everyone in the area think i'm good enough to go teach. figures.
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i've been in a fairly good mood lately. it's mixed with intermittent moments of "holy fuckin'a what am i doing" or "jesus christ, disappointment be thine name)..but c'mon. y'all know me..when have i not overanalyzed and ripped apart something? that said, i think i'm doing splendid at this "go with it" thing i'm trying. so..rather than analyze the reasons for the good mood, i figure i'll just list some things that make me giggle, smile, and titter and banter like a little school girl.
1. before he told me i was too nice to date, he told me i had amazing skin. weird compliment, but one that has really stuck with me for some reason..so, thank you for that!
2. tulips! tulips! tulips! i bought myself a bouquet, the school planted some across the street...UCH! i love tulips! how can you not just smile and feel emotionally lighter when you look at them?!
3. i downloaded the reggae version of "land down under" by men at work, and i haven't laughed this hard in a really long time. firt time i heard it i was in the library, and yes, on top of that song being snoopydancetastic, it was total payback for the asshole next to me who leaned over to tell me to "shhh" because he doesn't a--put his phone on silent while in the library, and b-picks up the fucking thing and talks on it like he's in his goddamn living room. he does this daily.
4. "beside" by rock kills kid. i shit you not, the first two beats of that song just make my heart melt.
5. the thought of one thing: i get to hug him... again. eeee!
6. when i mentioned that i lost weight, matt said "no! stay how you are! your body is the best"...thank you, my love. really. you honestly have no idea how much it means to me to have someone say that (even if you were drunk and horny =P)
7. the funk be is gone!....okay..not totally..but it's less and less constrictive on my outlook in general, and after nearly five months with a cloud shrouding my world..it's just fantastic to see with perspicacity.
8. jake met a girl!! (jake would be my bestest friend in the entire world, for those playing the home game) oh yes..finally someone came along that is worth his effort, and that is everything he has been looking for (seemingly. i swear i'm not trying to jinx it for you). there's no one i can think of that deserves a good shot at the love thing than him. date five is tonight, and i can't wait to hear all about it :)
9. spring is in the mother fuckin' air...and nothing says funny like two peope giving each other googely eyes, and starting longingly at each other...all while eatin ga subyway sub. holla!!
10. i haven't done shit in agency and partnership law since the professor took a fuckin detour from the syllabus, and yes, that kind of worried me. i kind of know what's going on in class, but i'm not 100%. today a guy walked in and was like "can i ask you something? do you have any idea what is going on in this class, because i've asked a good four people and no one seems to have a clue." ahhhh yes, my lovelies, take the curve down with me!
1. before he told me i was too nice to date, he told me i had amazing skin. weird compliment, but one that has really stuck with me for some reason..so, thank you for that!
2. tulips! tulips! tulips! i bought myself a bouquet, the school planted some across the street...UCH! i love tulips! how can you not just smile and feel emotionally lighter when you look at them?!
4. "beside" by rock kills kid. i shit you not, the first two beats of that song just make my heart melt.
5. the thought of one thing: i get to hug him... again. eeee!
6. when i mentioned that i lost weight, matt said "no! stay how you are! your body is the best"...thank you, my love. really. you honestly have no idea how much it means to me to have someone say that (even if you were drunk and horny =P)
7. the funk be is gone!....okay..not totally..but it's less and less constrictive on my outlook in general, and after nearly five months with a cloud shrouding my world..it's just fantastic to see with perspicacity.
8. jake met a girl!! (jake would be my bestest friend in the entire world, for those playing the home game) oh yes..finally someone came along that is worth his effort, and that is everything he has been looking for (seemingly. i swear i'm not trying to jinx it for you). there's no one i can think of that deserves a good shot at the love thing than him. date five is tonight, and i can't wait to hear all about it :)
9. spring is in the mother fuckin' air...and nothing says funny like two peope giving each other googely eyes, and starting longingly at each other...all while eatin ga subyway sub. holla!!
10. i haven't done shit in agency and partnership law since the professor took a fuckin detour from the syllabus, and yes, that kind of worried me. i kind of know what's going on in class, but i'm not 100%. today a guy walked in and was like "can i ask you something? do you have any idea what is going on in this class, because i've asked a good four people and no one seems to have a clue." ahhhh yes, my lovelies, take the curve down with me!
13 comments:
And Hashem shined through the clouds and shit and was like, 'Hey, Buttah, you best be teachin' like a bitch cuz I say so.' YEAH! Do eeeeeet!
*pom poms* for your funk lifting. That rocks, Dude. Enjoy the happy times, and the fucking hugs that you get to give AGAIN :)
people who quote 'those who can do and those who can't teach' have clearly never tried teaching.
also? glad you're feeling better!
also? bartending is HARD if you're busy enough
Reggae version of Down Under? The regular version is pretty much reggae already...did they make it even more silly? Hmm.
Yeah, fuck guys that were only one hit wonders here in the good ol' USA.
God, I hate people that weren't successful in the USA. It's like, why even be a songwriter.
Fuckin' Scottish people, hey?
Will: don't fuck with the drink maker. 'nuff said =P
Dude: i may do it. i have to see what the hours and shtuff are..cause i have that little pesky bitch of a problem called escuela. bleh!
Trix: true. telling a guy you can't serve him doesn't go over well. telling a chick you can't serve her, and you get all her fuckin friends trying to buy her drinks, getting all catty, and yellin at you. what is wrong with women?! seriously! your friends two drinks away from being in a roofie-esque coma..do you think she really needs another martini?! the guys at least leave it alone, or go somewhere else.
Sass: not sure i can teach. that's the main issue outside of the whole time-conflict possibility. i've never taught anyone a thing in my life....how can i start now? and..when it's busy and going absolutely insane..i am in attention-span-of-a-fruitfly heaven. love it!
MJ: s'like that guy from the eagles who went fucking nuts over the fact the copyright on their music might expire. s'like "dude, you have a shit load of money, you make more money everytime you play a show/go on tour. do you really need a cut of all your album sales?" the eagles aren't even that good! (no offense) COME BACK TO BLOGGING! pwease :)
Hedge: ohhh it's way more silly..WAY more upbeat, and they throw in the random modern jamaica shtuff--like random rapping. heeeee-lar-i-OUS! and hey, not everyone can be as cool as the living end and have...NO US hits ;)
I was just offered a bartending job a couple of weeks ago but said no cause I've never done it
Will: blue water is fun though..looks just like blue curcao :)
and they played "roll on" but i don't think it ever made it to the billboards, per se. great song though. great band, too!
Kristen: it's so easy though! and the money, for the work, is fantastic. it's draining though...3 nights of staying up 'til 5am starts to wear on you.
Yaay you teaching! Dude, if you were my teacher I would show up to class AND pay attention AND do my homework.
I am glad the funk be lifting. THose things are killer babes. But they come and do their damage and we get back up again and march on...cause what else is there to do, right?
I have not been doing much either. And I am starting to worry. But apparently I am not worried enough to do the work. See the problem?
-N
Does he? I know that he's been on Scrubs. And he did have a line about...oh, something about "I'm the greatest living composer". But he's Scottish, not Aussie. Let's make that clear. I guess.
I'm going to see the Living End in a few weeks. Free ticket, so meh.
You know I'm going to download that song too, now, listen to it enough to drive my neighbours crazy, then they'll come for you with pitchforks.
You might want to leave town for a couple of days.
Hedge: yea. he kind of does have a holier than thou "i sang 'land down under'" vibe goin on in some of the interveiws i've seen.
Faltenin: bring on the pitchforks. i dig pain.
Murphy: no. we've been over this tit thing. everyone can get their drink on for free, i'm a giver like that.
You must try some of the fabulous bars in Tremont. Namely, the Southside-- they hire beautiful young women and those ladies make a killing! I have bartended in the past and it is the easiest money on the planet, but I think teaching would be more fun and not as hard on the 'ol liver. Believe me, mine was floating in Jameson the entire duration of my 'tending. ;) Give em hell kid!
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