my sources say the road is clear and street signs point the right way.i watch you procrastinatse, what are you waiting for? a certain shade of green?

alright. as most people know...i'm a music nut. listening to it all the time...and i like an ecclectic mix of stuff. for example, my itunes just went from the police, to the cure, to abba, to she wants revenge, to rhianna, to offspring....

you get the point.

but, music has taken a fuckin downward spiral, and i wasn't totally aware of this bastard downward spiral until i realized i had no cd's in my car, and my ipod was in my apartment. thus, i was forced to listen to the radio ALL fucking day. dear fucking god, i nearly went insane...no radio station i turned to was playing anything worthwhile, with the exception of "dance dance" by fallout boy, which is a catchy little diddy i hate to admit--but how can i you not rock out to that song?!

so being the mad hater that i am, i figured i'd compile the top ten artists/bands that are considered hot shit at the moment, that i want blugeoned to death with their own shitty beats.

10. kelly clarkson:

she won a fucking tv show, i mean...she started out as a sell-out, so-to-speak....and then she had a few songs and kind of disappeared and i kind of shrugged her off as just the female version of o-town (remember those ass clowns?!!) and was just kind of happy her rather shrill voice was no longer blaring on every radio station across the country......and then? she fucking came back. and she came back with a high pitched squeeling vengeance. and the worst part? no matter how fuckin shitty the songs off her latest album are, they get fucking stuck in your head like no other.....catchy little bitches, i swear! but the worst part about wee lil miss clarkson isn't the fact her songs are catchy as all hell, or the fact the songs are pretty shitty to begin with (honestly that "because of you song"? woman! take responsibility for your actions), the worst part about kelly is that she fuckin sucks live. if you've ever heard her sing at a live performance her voice is pretty much perma-shot and she's got no tone, no depth..no nothing..she just kinda yells and half assedly tries to hit the notes....and that's just absolute shit, seeing as she won a show that was based solely on live performances. bad on you, kelly. bad!

9. the pussycat dolls:

alright, i give. they're fucking hot (seriously, i'd so go lesbo for a night with these chicks)...and they can sing....but they should have stuck to burlesque. not only can i *not* stand any song they've released, but many a people have told me to just listen to their whole cd because "they're actually not that bad, those songs are just shit"...and i sit there, and i listen..and yea, the whole cd just kind of blows. it's crap. i understand they were going for fun music to party and dance to...but, they kind of missed the "fun" mark, and dove straight into obnoxious and annoying music that serves no real purpose but for signaling to the listener it's time to change to a different radio station. if that's the goal they were going for, props you sexy biatches..props!

8. jaime fox:

dude, you were on "in living color" (which was an awesome show might i add), and in a shit-ton of other goofy ass movies..so taking you seriously as an actor was a bit of a stretch....but, i gave...and i admit you did a great job in "ray", and you portrayed the blind man well. i even admit you can sing just like him, which is pretty bomb ass; however, you done gone too far by expecting me to respect you as a musician. go back to acting like the goofy little fucker you are...'cause your music just sucks donkey balls yo.

7. coldplay:

first, i admit that i love the song "clocks", that's some good shit right there, i give on that point; however, the rest of their little repetoire fucking blows. i know they are one of those bands that you either love or hate, and the majority of people tend to love them...but, i just can't fucking stand them (outside of that song). they're trying too hard to be philisophical and out there...but still radio friendly...which just makes them radiohead-lite. they're like enya for men..and i really can't stand them

6. eminem:

dude, you were pretty rockin' for a while. you had some fuckin awesome music: infinite and the slim shady lp where great albums, the marshall mathers lp was fantastic, and the eminem show was just fuckin awesome ..and then? then you went fuckin pussy. songs about your daughter now reign supreme where songs about giving a chick a bag of mushrooms used to rock the fuck out. sorry dude, you've led a million aspiring wiggers astray...and i hope to god they don't want to grow up to be just like you, cause it just doesn't seem empty without you..no, it seems rather half full and more pleasant without you. (shout out to the awesome steve for recommending this former badass to me for my list...almost forgot about him!)

5. nelly:

you went from country grammer, e-i e-i uhhh ohhh, and it's getting hot in hurrr.....to absolute and utter shit. i mean the aforementioned songs were pushing it to begin with, but they were fun and they had a fun beat and a cute little message: get your mother fuckin party on. somewhere in between having fun and being the goofy lil wannabe gangster we white folks loved, you did some fucked up country shit that, in retrospect, i wish was all in your head so i wouldn't have to hear that shit over and over again...and then you went to the fuckin inner depths of hell with that fuckin new song "grillz". it's shit, and i want to shove your grill up your fucking ass so maybe you'll go back to being a goofy lil wannabe gangster rapper that was all about having fun in his music, and stay away from making absolute shit that makes me want to take your bandaged head and bang it up against random walls.

4. and 3. ashlee and jessica simpson

i lumped these two poor excuses for musical talent together because it's just too hard to figure out which one sucks worse. two shitty singers for the price of one last name....how fun huh? ashlee lip sync's and think she's a punk rocker..which is funny, cause my cats terds are more punk rock than the former 7th heaven star who bitches and moans about living in her sisters shadow..and yet, is really doing nothing to differentiate herself from big sis physically...funny how that works. and then, there's jessica she just needs to step away from the lip collagen and go into hiding for a while..because i haven't found a single person who isn't just fuckin fed up with her. you want out of the tabloids? stop doing shit to get into them. and, seeing as this is a post about music...jessica can't sing for shit either...she just belts shit out as loud as humanely possible. that, my friends, is not singing. that, my beloved readers, is fucking obnoxious. so, i have no l-o-l-0-l-o-v-e for these two sisters, and their boots need to get on walkin out of the fuckin music industry...for the sake of my sanity..

2. system of a down:

okay. totally overlooking the fact their armenian, and totally overlooking the fact that they are pretty cool guys...i can't stand their fuckin music. it's like murder to my lil ears. not sure who's bright idea it was to combine insanely heavy metal with opera-esque vocals, but, sorry boys...it just doesn't fuckin work. the whole heavy, to melodic, to heavier, to death metal, to melodic etc etc etc just makes me want to go ape shit on your fuckin asses.

1. black eyed peas:

i fuckin hate them! shitty songs that get stuck in your head. instead of just going on and on about why i hate these fucktards...i'm going to leave it to two words: "my hump" GRR!!!