ladies and gentleman.....you are in luck!
oh yes! i went on jdate numero dos! and what got off to a decent start for at least the prospect of friendship was thwarted by...well....him, of course.
i talked to him for a while, so when he asked me out sans other people, i figured...why the fuck not when he proposed meeting up for drinks. we opted to meet at my friend scott's martini bar (girls gotta be safe, right? and he had no idea i knew the owner haha) , and even though he suggested picking me up... i opted to drive myself seeing as i' m a chick, i'm usually running a bit late, and i always make up for lost time on the "you're white? oh, we won't bother you" stretch of carnegie that goes from my place to the cleveland clinic...(my driving was a fucking god send..you'll see why)
sooo.....i arrive, and i wait in the car for his response to my text "are you there yet", and see his blue audi s4 pull in..and ta dow, it's him. assuming he has no idea it's me sitting in the civic just watching him..he walks right on past, walks on in...walks out, walks in. so i figure i should go in to the wee lil establishment. while i'm standing at the bar section near the door, he walks past me..not once, but twice! before i'm like "hey, dumbass...are you retarded or something?"..
we sit in the lil lounge area in the back..order drinks...talk. things are going fairly well. i mean seriously..conversation went okay (seeing as this is the first time we've gone out without other people), no real red flags saying "i am a douchebag"...he's got a good job, good family life etc...no real complaints on my part...even though i've never been severely attracted to him appearance wise..but whatever on that front...personality is a lot more important.
so 12:40ish rolls around, and the bar is dead because...this is clevland, and for some reason people don't go out on friday nights, just saturday's. so..fine, the night ends. he half assedly walks me to my car...he gives me a hug, kisses my cheek...and whatever...we go our same way, seeing as he lives down the street form me
and then shit got a little freaky.
(total aside..he got a speeding ticket on the way home..HAH!)
so i get home, i look at my phone..and i have a text message from him: "if you want me to come over, i will"...not too weirded out by this and i just respond that my place is a mess, maybe next time.....thinking that was the end of that.
no. no no. he wasn't giving up that easily, apparently.
so, he keeps texting me..saying he doesn't mind if it's a mess blah blah blah...then he calls....kind of begging and pleading me to let him come over...to which i'm pretty much averted to at this point to begin with, outside of the fact my place is kind of a mess (this is me..so a mess means i didn't do my dishes haha)..and then we go our separate ways.
i take sofie out, and notice that i have..not one...not two..but four text messages awaiting me. funtastic!
text 1: nothing would make me happier tonight than to be with you.
text 2: i want to come over tonight
text 3: maybe you'll come here? i'll pick you up?
and last, but not at all least
text 4: we need to meet up and just get crazy.
so i respond with "umm, get crazy?"
his response: "yes. get crazy. use your imagination ;)" (yes the winky was included...uch)
alright asshole. what the fuck do you think you're doing here? i mean seriously. do you really think i'm going to put out? not to mention that you didn't even offer to pay for my drinks...you just let me separate the bill (hey! the paying thing goes both ways men..at least offer, just like a girl should offer..it's prinicple, i wouldn't have let him pay for me anyway)....and let us not forget the fact that he decided it would be a great idea to come over 20 minutes after the entire night came to, what i thought, was an end.
so, i call him. "look, i don't know what gave you the impression that you either had a shot with me, or that i was easy..but both of those impressions are extremely wrong. ".......
"well, i just thought we could have fun...".....
"no you thought you had a chance at getting some..and i'm calling to tell you, that chance is nonexistent. you want to get off, you have a hand. you don't beg and plead for a girl to let you come over or to come over to your place..that's just absolutely pathetic. if you ever want to get a date in this town again, don't ever talk to me. i have no qualms with telling every jewish girl in cleveland how piteous and deplorable you really are, and trust me..i have the means by which to do it. have a good night." (in all honesty i do, my friend lil avi is like the mac daddy pimp of jew-cleveland..he knows EVERYONE)
uchhhhh. what the fuck is wrong with people?!
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42 comments:
I have severe douche-chills from that.
That's the kind of dickhead that gives the decent guys a bad rap.
Pretty tough luck there. Maybe he had just taken his blue pill and couldn't get to sleep with the bike stand up.
Pretty pathetic. Reminds me of a song -
Well they said if I wrote the perfect letter
That I would have a chance
Well I wrote it, and you burnt it
And now do I have a chance anyway?
wow
i don't get it
if he wanted to boink the time to mention it was AT THE BAR not in a TEXT message fer chrissakes.
that's pretty sad.
and why does everyone think you're supposed to put out on the first date? what the hell is wrong with having some self respect?
I really like the way you handle things, buttah. I'm going to try to stay on your good side, so as not to have all of "jew-cleveland" after me.
Haha!! Okay that might be one of the first times I've seen/heard of Lil Avi being part of a threat. =o) Guys are just something else these days.
i wIlL tExT MeSsaGe tEh gIRl f0R sEcKs. IM s0 HaWt sHE w0Nt REsiSt mY mAD CeLl pH0nE SKiLLz!
Matt: naw, the nice guys always come through in the end. they don't pull that shit randomly, so they get to date number two.
Sweets: i know. how do i attract these asshats?
Murph: none of the above. i wore a black shirt that covered my boobs, my peircing was never mentioned, and ya know what? i do want to get laid..but not by some douchebag who has to beg for it. SO HAH!
Faltenin: uhhhhh, 25 year olds need viagra?
Sass: the world is going to hell in a hand basket..im dating those fuckers one at a goddamn time!
Yournamehere: darlin, you live in vegas. you're perma on my good side ;)
Missy: i know! haha picture lil avi giving a beat down..that's awesome. but he's got the hook-ups!
Factory peasant: holy shit! you made me spit out my water. that was awesome!
don't you just wish you could date your entire quota of assholes in one night and get it over with?
I wouldn't reccomend dating an entire quota of assholes, my cousin, Sarah , tried that once.....she is just now re-learning to tie her shoes.
I have no clue what that meant.
http://www.youtube.com/p.swf?video_id=fL-NoQirEb0&e
Way to go!!! Dude was so desperate!!
How's Avi doing?? I miss him!
XXOO,
JTL
This is why rule number one is never date a girl/woman with a blog. One mistake and the world knows you are an ass.
just assume you're an ass and go from there. that way there's no way to go but up.
sorry to hear about the shite date. that's why i avoid them at all cost, but then again, i hate to use the phone so i can't SMS-stalk.
just curious if you are going to school in cleveland or from cleveland. i graduated CWRU a few years back.
zac
http://slyght.blogspot.com
Ouch! It is odd how creeps can pretend to be normal and pull it off long enough for one to think... "Oh he's not bad..."
Unfortunately for them but fortunately for us, their creepyness cannot be held in too long and out it comes in all its freekishness.
What a fucking asshole he turned out to be. And I hate begging. If I say no, that means no. And someone who is willing to be with you knowing you said no and the only reason you said yes was to shut him up is pathetic. Begging is definitely not a aphrodisiac....ewwww it makes me want to puke.
But you showed him, Elle...you womanhandled that boy!!! :) hehehe
-N
what's so stupid is that it sounds like that, up until the text messaging, you had a good impression of the night, and might have gone out with him on future dates, which could have led to a visit to Cooterville.
But nooooo ... the guy had to be a weak, impatient, begging freak ...
you so should have told him he might have had a chance if he didn't go from normal to douche in 6.8 seconds.
nat: sometimes they pull it off for months but it really does always show through.
it's so funny if he had acted like a man and asked you out on another date and been sane again you probably *would* have boinked him by date four or something... so his lack of patience blew his shot.
silly man.
even sillier to persist after you repeatedly said no.
Sass: yea, although, some assholes are at least more fun than just begging, you know? i like my men with a little asshole, i don't like my men beggining and thinking i owe them something. that said, not sure if he ever had a chance of getting laid..but he at least had a chance at a second date before he pulled all this shit.
RUS: yea, we've been over that
Shawn: it's all good, i have a thing for velcro shoes!
Caro: haha!! that was awesome. haha the gotti brothers...got, how can any girl not just think they are gay?
Melissa: lil avi is good :) haven't talked to him in a while either
Guerilla Blogger: my take is that eventually you're going to have to talk to the guy...and if he can't carry a conversation or entertain me, or make me think...it doesn't matter how gorgeous he is, how ripped, how studly and awesome....he's out.
Mike: i've gone out with guys i haven't written about. it's the gravity of the mistake that gets you written about, not the fact you made one!
Slyght: i go to school in cleveland, not from here.
MJ: desparately stupid doesn't get them tryigng to crawl into bed with me...and that i prefer!
Nat: i really don't understand begging either. i don't even understanding asking. if she wants you over, she'll invite you....if she wants to do you, she'll do you. let nature and her take their course..and back the fuck off!
Dzer: not sure he'd ever get to cooterville (haha you dork!), but if he keps hit fuckin mouth shut he would have gotten at least another date...not sure that was his goal though...seems like it wasnt
Murph: take a pic of your balls for me!
elle: for sure. least if they have a spine there's something to think about. begging is sad and pathetic. almost as sad and pathetic as needing a harem.
if he had a shot at a second date he had a shot at getting laid. not necessarily a good one but it was there and he killed it.
*handing you a picture of Murph's balls*
Umm wow, what an ass... seriously, what's up with that crazy shit.
Sometimes, they just don't get it do they? Makes you want to hit them on the head with a big ol' fucking frying pan and drag them to a cult colony.
But, in his defense... have you seen you?
ummm.. I'd jump the gun too hotness!!!
*sigh*
weird guys rule!!!
trix: okay that shit is just weird.
Sass: true. he killed everything, and i have a hankering to kill his reputation ...tee hee!
murph: uhh i did text you. it was just text written in a blog, not in a phone. dumbass
Em: hah, i have seen me. not goooood! you have a green light to jump my hotness..just don't beg, ;)
Trix: are you fucking serious? i'd kick him out of bed. you want to text..go to a different room.
Shane: you're my weird guy. position filled. no room for others
HAHA
that guy rules
back in my day we just talked to girls... it's much less work to just text them!
shit man... I could have got my pimpin' done in bulk messages instead of having to juggle women around in complex 'relationships' with 'talking'
I am frequently disappointed with the majority of my gender. Are we really so blinded by finding a warm hole that we forget that the women we seek are human?
And yeah, begging is way out.
My shrink wants to know why I prefer the company of women? Well, I guess it is because I find far more decent women than men.
Sorry, Elle. I am embarrassed to know them as much as you are. Good luck.
hubris you're why it's so hard to blanket hate men. damm you for being a nice guy. you're the kind that keeps the women looking...
*grins* Thanks Sass. My mother will be pleased to know your opinion of me. It will let her know that she & my dad did just fine with me...
A special thanks to the douchebag from LSD.
Thanks asshole. It's guys like you that make my dating life so wonderful and easy. I fight the image of shitheads like you everyday of my life. Your the fucking reason I can't convince a woman that I don't just want to wet my cock and leave without a word. Go get hit by a fucking truck you creepy bastard fuck.
lsd: a little investigating your own behaviour if you please.
oh and hubris: your mom has NOTHING to worry about dude. she and your dad should be proud
Sass,
I'm only going to say this. Sorry if you thought I was someone that I'm not. I always try to treat others with respect. If your disappointed in me, thats your provogitive. I never asked anything more than friendship from you. I never offered anything more than friendship to you. Your comment is hurtful.
lsd i'm sorry that you feel hurt by my comment but it stands. and if that's what you think then it stands even more.
i am disappointed in you yes, but i don't think it's for any of the reasons you may be assuming.
murph: yes, she does... just not you
Yes that is what I think. I can respect your perspective. If you can't respect mine than you are not the only one who has misjudged.
jabberstud: you werea real class act weren't you? ;)
hubris: your parents should be proud, you rock my lil world, and renew my faith in men..more so than you'll ever know!
LSD: don't lump all chicks together. i go out with douchebags all the time, and i still meet each and every guy without the caveat of he just wants his dick in me.
LSD and Sass: it seems you two have some unresolved issues, whatever they may be. perhaps perspective isn't what's important here, but understand what is the root of this little upheavel. you two are talking past each other, and that's not right.
Sass: hahaha, thanks for answering murph for me :)
Murph: eh, i'll fuck you. why not. come on ovah!
Sure, so he begs and you're all for it, but I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO?!?!
wow, there are a lot of people hurting here.
its all about the love people.
I'm all confused... It's Valentine's Day fer fuck sake.
Reading thru this thread of comments, LSD whatever your beef is with Sass it's not so cool for you to air it in public like that.
The things you said "I'm only going to say this...", might have been more properly put to her an e-mail rather than spread all over the internet and embarrassing her.
elle- You have rendered me speechless.
Sass- You have rendered me speechless for the countless-th time.
*hugs* for you both
lsd i apologise for hurting your feelings. we should both know better than to judge.
elle you are a wise and wonderful lady. try to keep her.
hubris mightydoll is right to consider herself lucky you mr pink hair you
mike i feel obliged to sort of point out that i kind of started it.
Red. Its red.
No worries Sass,
Lets just figure it all out.
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