e-mail 1 from him: Hi =) After a fourteen hour workday (gotta love 'em) I wasn't planning on writing back, but I thought I'd say a quick hello! I've been an active member of JDate for about 96 hours and wanted to drop you a line because your profile definitely caught my eye. Besides being beautiful, which is always a nice start (I’m sure you hear that all the time though!) I saw that we had too much in common. Who knows, maybe that’s a bad thing lol.
You probably already know, thanks to the great stalking tools of JDate, but I am a senior at Case Western University with plans to attend law school next year. Do you attend either CMLS or Case? I applied to both in the breadth of applications…
Yeah, yeah, yeah…enough banter. What about me? If you ask my roommate about me (who I’ve lived with for four years) he would say that I’m definitely the guy who loves attention. I love my sense of humor and most of the time everyone else does too lol. I am also the sarcastic and goofy person everyone loves at the parties. But I am always the first guy to make sure everyone else is okay, taking care of their every little need. I love to go out and try new things, especially in regards to food. I love dining at new restaurants in and around Cleveland.
More on a one-to-one, I am the absolute romantic. I’m always the one to give home-made cards and stupid little crafts to warm up hearts. I guess my mother being an art-teacher when I was younger really rubbed off on me.
I have plenty of pictures if you ever cared to see them, as a single profile pic serves little justice for you. It’s the candid photos your friends shot of you in the bar when you weren’t looking, the ones you beg and beg for them to delete and they never do, I’m sure those are the ones you really want to see! =)
Looking forward to hearing a little more about you…
e-mail 2 from him: I haven't heard back from you so I wasn't sure if you didn't get my e-mail, or maybe I just didn't pass the test haha. Hope everything is well!
my lone response: It was just a very formulaic response, so, I figure I should do something equally as....
fun.
email 3 from him: You're right, I should have extrapolated the idea that you were looking for more of an abstract "fun" message, diverting from the fact that you know nothing about me and might not be able to see through the fact that I am trying to be spontaneous and you not see me as a psycho. I guess I should have forseen that from your ever so "fun" and un-"formulaic" response of 'write away'
Be that as it may, I still was hoping you could at least give me a first-hand opinion on Case vs. CMLS in regards to schooling. Do you feel Case is worth the extra $$? Where do you go? I am trying to get as much info on the schools before I decide where to go.
alright, thanks for your life story and awesome qualifications..OH! and you're follow up. but, who the fuck talks like that? extrapolated? diverting? flash that ego a little more for me baby, it makes you look that much more enticing, moron!
look douchebag..you aren't in law school...yet..so don't go flashing the big words and egotistical fuckwad facade just yet. and, one more thing, it's not my job to educate you about which school you should go to. apparently, you can read..so pick up some books and figure out which one is better for you just like EVERY OTHER fucking student in law school has done. not to mention you live in the fuckin vicinity of both schools...get your ass off jdate, and go talk to the deans........ya jackass!
anyway, no one gives a shit about what i'm typing, because it's HNT...and there's a picture...so..might as well cut to the somewhat good shtuff, eh?
they've arrived!!
granted.....i ordered then in fuckin november, and what? it's almost march and i get them?
but, no matter..the adorable baby pink dolce and gabana strappy shoes that are going to kill my feet with a vengeance unimaginable even to me, the queen of strappy uncomfortable shoes, have graced my doorstep, and now my feet, with their presence.
EEE!! so cute!
and thus i bid you all a Happy HNT (and just so y'all know...i won't be partaking next week seeing as HNT falls on my brothers birthday...and there's just something inherently wrong with posting skanky pictures of myself while giving a shoutout to my brother on his birthday....sorry!)
28 comments:
Hell, yeah! I finally get to leave the first comment!
I thought this day would never come...
Bitch, how'd you know I have a foot fetish? ;)
*pees herself laughing*
thanks will
Wait wait...you're a member of Jdate and you don't expect there to be jackasses?
I think that's called a bitch shield, yeah? :P
Just chill out, yankie. And why aren't I on your blogroll anymore, strappy shoe woman?
Nice getaway sticks, my dear.
Scorpionic--LOL!!!!
Timmy: congrats, i knew if you worked hard enough this glorious day would come.
Matt: a girl just knows these things tee hee! :)
Will v. 1: what do you mean no one should be nice to me?! whatever!! i'm not that mean!
Will v. 2: you and your mutant toe have failed the test. kindly see yourselves out of the gene pool!
Sass: don't encourage him!!
Hedge: my parents made me join after they found out my best friend jokingly put me on there. it's an endless source of amusement though, seriously. i explained the blogroll misshap on your bloggy blog. it will be corrected, as stated promptely in the am....or sometime before noon tomorrow
Todd: thanks. they get me away from things might acceptable-like.
Hootah: same as i said to sass..DO NOT ENCOURAGE HIM!!
OMG those shoes are awesome
I had the distinct felling that that email would make me puke. I feel for you meeting guys through a religious affiliation no less. YUCK! The fucked up ones are always into to God. The shoes look fab though. I hope you get to show them a good time. do you wear an 8 1/2 to 9? If so, I'll be by tomorrow to go through your collection. Your makeup sounds good too, so we should just make a day of it. I'll call you when I'm on my way!
XOXO
Gorgeous shoes and nice legs :)
Happy HNT!!
ROTFL @ emails :)
My profile on the two dating sites I go to says clearly "do not bother if you can't think of anything but a line o break the ice."
And yet...some try anyway. Now, I tend to use big words but not the way this guy did. I use them in the classroom and in meetings... and they just come out naturally because of what I am talking about. But with this dude??? It seemed all forced and what not. Major suckage of donkey balls. I hate it when people try to impress me.
Ang hot damn! Those are some beautiful ass shoes! Me likey very much. Me would stealy :)
-N
K, if I were a foot fetish queen I would be trying to nibble just a tad on those toes...
and working the tongue around the strappage :)
i love this picture.... it think it's the dress...
*sigh*
Stephanie: i know, so worth the wait :)
Evercurious: come on over, i'm a size 9..and i don't mind sharing. but the manolo blahniks are off limits. that's my only caveat.
Christa: happy hnt darlin! :)
MJ: it is, it is. that's the one i HATE. happy htn darlin!
Nat: who uses extrapolated in any connotation outside of lifting shit out of the ground?! it's like he was sitting there with a hard-on and his thesaurus...or, just aching to use those words of the days he so ruthlessly memorizes! that's not impressing, that just shows you're either an egotistical asshole, or so dumb you have to hide behind big ol' words. that said, glad ya like the shoes..you too are welcome to borrow :)
Murph: yes, they're painted. light pink you cockmonger! and when were my knee's furry?!!
Em: dress? what dress? those are my pj pants that i pulled up haha!
Have been following your blog for a couple of months now. Although the people you seem to attract on jdate and similar appear to be retards, you seem quite "abrasive" yourself. I’m sure your list of attempted suitors would diminish if you pointed out that any emails/communications which don’t align with your thinking will be published on your blog and publicly ridiculed by yourself and your legion of ass kissing responders. I doubt very much that what is published here is you in reality, however if it is and your selectivity gets around, I’m sure you will be the prettiest spinster on the net.
it didn't really seem that bad to me unless all of that was already clearly in his profile, in which case so lame.
that said? i use extrapolate all the time. of course i use it correctly...
where's the line between trying to impress and trying too hard? it's such a fine one for sure.
PBC: touching story man. TOUCHIN!!
Trix: nothing he wrote was bad, per se, other than it lacks any sort of personality. it also screams "i wrote this, and i sent it to everyone i'm intersted in", and "i'm trying to impress you with my intellect". i was honestly not horribly disgusted with him until he e-mailed me three times to ask why i hadn't responded to him, yet. it's a dating website, not a job placement service..ya know? relax dude.
Anonymous: i'd think more of your little comment if you didn't hide behind some poignant shroud of anonymity. regardless, it's not so much that they don't align with what i think. i think nothing of "pick up lines" and e-mails, really. it's that i find them amusing as all hell, and, i like to share my amusement. yes, i'm one abrasive little bitch..and anyone who knows me knows that very well. they also know that i'm not a very serious person, and to take things with a minute grain of salt, which obviously you haven't figured out yet. if you notice, i don't even know these people personally, and those people i do know personally never get mentioned on this blog but for in a joking manner. if i know you, and i respect you---i talk to you about whatver issues i have with you. that said, please don't insult my readers, you're seemingly one of them. i make no one read my crap, especially you..so kindly refrain from calling them names because you're dissasisfied with what i wrote. lastly, if me having standards means i'm going to end up alone and a spinster? fine with me. at least i have the balls to come right out and say things to people sans the glory of an anonymous title.
PBC: i ever tell you how much i love you? cause i really do.
Sass: it's not horrible, no, but it's just so..impersonal. i mean this is supposed to be my glimpse into you, and he writes it like a cover letter for a resume.
the line between trying to impress and trying too hard is one that really shouldn't exist. why go all-outand try to impress someone with something? if something impresses them? fine. but to go out of your way to catch someones attention for whatever reason? it seems kind of pointless and needy to me. if you don't know someone, jumping around yelling "look at me! i use big words" isn't really the way to go to get in good with them, being you is the best and only way. if being you entails sitting with a thesaurus and finding creative and fun uses for words that have pretty stand-pat definitions? more power to you..but i'm not going to fall victim to your self inflicted back-patting, and play into it if i see past it and see the possible real you: fake. earn attention, don't steal it..ya know?
you know you've reached the bigtime when pbc posts comments on your blog. he's such a sweethart.
now thats sexy
earn attention, don't steal it
nice
way to put it in a nutshell dude
you need to save all of these and then write a book:
"The Travails of Trying to Find Love — or at Least a Decent Date — on the 'Net"
heh
and those are hawt!! ... and the shoes aren't too bad, either ;)
Cabana Strappy Shoes?! !Muy excelente! ;-)
Oh yeah.... and keep up the ass-kickin' email commentary. It reminds us of the great guys that are somehow still out there.... oh wait, whoooooooo
Do pink strappy shoes go with a black dress? Dont take it the wrong way your buttahness, I simply dont have any idea about fashion.
I'd hardly consider that picture skanky.
I am the absolute romantic. I’m always the one to give home-made cards and stupid little crafts to warm up hearts
That doesn't mean he's romantic, just cheap.
Shane: i feel the love, really, i do.
Jay: thank you :)
Sass: i find it obnoxious when people try desperately for attention. relax!
D: i should, huh? rather just blog about it.
Keith: i demand part rights in that book, damnit!!
Guerilla: well come and get me then ;)
Arsemuncher: they would go if you had some other pink accessory, but a plain black dress with pink shoes? it would be 50-50 doable...i think.
Joey: it's not skanky...but, out of respect for my big brother, i'll refrain from any revealing-ish pics on his b-day next week. and dude, he's jewish, of course he's cheap!!
HOT SHOES!!! I wish I could walk in shoes like that, but Im slightly clumsy.
Anyway...yeah, that Jdate response was pretty lame, but being a Jdater myself, that was definitely better than what the usual is...
Something along the lines of,
"So this is my first time on this thing (No its not Ive seen you on here before) and my parents really want me to try dating a Jewish girl (you just want a date...hence why we are all on here)" and so on..."
Just stopping by in the madness that is moving to say... Testiclees... just because :)
-N
YouWish: i'm clumsy too....doesn't really stop me. wow, i must give off the bitch vibe even online...then again, the population of cleveland on that site is like 2, where as chicago is like 500.
Viktoryia: naw, lived in sunny cali for four years...i'll forgo a worthy jewish guy to have some snow and winter ;)
Nat: TESTICLEES! TESTICLEES!!
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