so.....
it sometimes is just absolutely disgusting how abso-fuckin-lutely stupid people are.
i mean seriously.
sometimes you get these glaring examples of human folly that just make you want to vomit all over any hope you had of ......hope.....salvation....better days....
and more importantly...driving from point a to point b without having to engage in some form of warranted road rage.
now let me illustrate what i mean...k?! K!
every major city...and yes, for all intents and purposes cleveland is considered a major city.....has one way streets. how does one know a one way street? usually the giant fucking sign that says "ONE WAY" plastered almost all over the street in question is a good indication, as well as the giant "DO NOT ENTER" signs that are displayed just in case you think the "ONE WAY" sign does not apply to you or you're super retarded and don't understand which way, specificaly, "ONE WAY" applies to.
what's more? these streets remain "ONE WAY"...all day...everyday...and have been deemed such for years upon years.
it's just the way it has been...it is...and will be....
so imagine my surprise when i'm driving up E 21 st street, which is a one way street...and some douchebag decides he is all supreme and makes a fucking left turn....and is wondering why there is no where for his car to go..seeing all all three lanes that are going in that one finite direction are filled.
and what does said douchebag do? sit there and look at me. he honks, he gives me the fingers, he yells some kind of derivative of "fucking move bitch"...
and what i do? point to the ONE WAY! sign that is conveniently located right above the intersection.
his reponse? he makes a face at me that kind of says "you're a fucking bitch and are in my way"....
so i point at the sign again..and he gets this "oh" look on his face......YET! he makes absolutely no effort to get back on prospect avenue and try E 22nd which is, coincidendly, one way in the other direction...which is, coincidently, the direction he is trying to go.
NOPE! he sits in his car....which is about 2 feet from touching the shnoz of my own car...and looks at me like i'm the one who's fucking up......all the while..half of his car's ass is in the intersection totally blocking westbound traffic and the left most lane of eastbound traffic on prospect avenue..which is a fairly major street in downtown cleveland.
after the gears started to get a bit of their dust off, and you know, started to minimally churn in his head....he honked and gave me the finger again...and yelled "MOVE!"
and i did....i moved my tiny little civic right around his xterra...and went on my merry little way....and it is my vengeful pleasure to report to you, my fellow bloggers, he got a phatty ass ticket from the cops..and ended up hitting two cars while trying to get back onto prospect.
dumbass.
so fine! i'm on my merry little way..i get to E 30th, where i have to make a left...so i turn my blinker on, and patiently wait for the light to turn red. woman next to me, in her shiny new avalon nonetheless, is on her cell phone.
light turns green. i stay there and wait 'til it's all clear to make my wee little left hand turn...and what does the woman next to me do?
she's looking at me, while talking on her phone. all the while about 5 cars are honking behind her.
so, like the good samaritan i am (hah i can't even type that with a straight face)..i point to the fact the light is green....
she looks at me. she looks at my finger.
she doesn't look where i'm pointing.
honk honk. beep beep. i point more vehemently.
TA DOW! the dumb bitch gets it......mouths the word "OH!!"....and just in time too....the light turned back to red.
so i ask you....what the fuck?!! in 7 miles of city driving, i had the most glaring examples of dumb-fuckery known to man....and it's.....it's just sad!!
where are peoples fucking minds?
i thought literacy was at an all time high..and how fucking hard is it to react to the pretty changing colors of a stoplight?!
this is the future of humanity. god save us all.
word.
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33 comments:
I drive ONLY because I can't walk the 30 miles to work and I need the paycheck.
I'm glad to see it's not just here in Milwaukee.
clowns to the left of you, jokers to the right ...
... I was SO going to post about idiot drivers a little later on after my enounters today ... but I will let your brilliant piece shine for a bit before I attempt some schlepped-up bit of drivel ... LOL
and dammit ... schlepped was SO the wrong word ... bleah ... LOL
Jmai: i only drive because walking downtown cleveland isn't safe haha
DUDE! GET YOUR FUCKIN TICKET!
Kuflax: actually, of all the places i've lived, milwaukee drivers weren't bad....until it came to the mall's..then y'all went to shit.
D--shlepped means to drag ;) farkakta means shitty ;)
Shut right up! That guy needs to go to a mental institution...fuck the ticket. People's stupidity should not surprise me any more...and yet...they make better idiots every day.
The other day I was getting into the parking lot at uni and it was about that time that the spaces are beginning to fill up and people might be late to class. There is someone who is taking their time on the lane that leads out, so this MORON gets on the lane that leads in to try to get out... but hehehe...I am there...and he almost runs into me. FUCKING IDIOTS.
I feel you. :)
-N
I had a guy come into my lane on my way to work, forcing me to drive onto the median. He didn't even see it happen - just fully wasn't looking.
I recovered and honked at him - the motherfucker gave ME the finger.
The only place that I've lived where people drive worse than here is Vegas. Seriously, every day on the freeway - bone dry and straight as an arrow - at least one person would somehow manage to flip their car. Fucking unbeliebable.
The best are the drivers who drive at 55 in the left lane and when you go to pass them, they speed up. But they're not accustomed to driving above 58 and it shows in the way they've got the death grip on the steering wheel - just so that you can't pass them. Asshats I tell ya.
My new thing is to pull up to the offending vehicle and just keep pace with them. Side by side. They have no idea what to do. They step on the gas, I accelerate with them. Slow down? My foot comes off the gas. And all I do is keep the smirk on my face knowing they are cursing me out a mere 6-7 feet away.
LOL That's when you reach for the Vicodin stash and make the pain all go away.
dude is that really how you spell 'shnoz'?
I always thought maybe it would be something with more pinache.
Matt-
Dude...Vegas is as bad as Orlando...with all the fucking lovely tourists that help our economy but make driving a contact sport... ugh!
-N
Driving has just become something to occupy people's left hands while they talk on their cell phones, watch DVDs, play air guitar, and drink their coffee.
Fucking motorists....
oh man i cannot believe how stupid drivers are i'm telling you. at least once per drive someone actively tries to murder me.
like what is UP with that?
so how was your day?
Zales had some nice rocks, but nothing was on point enough for da buttah. But then again, what do I know about diamonds? Don't they come from Antwerp?
I'm also diggin the Yiddish lessons you got going on here
damn gurl... thats like some serioss karma shit going on
okay... so you're from Cleveland... I will spare you the obvious and way to easy "CleveEffinLand" putdowns...
I mean the Browns?
Jesus Christ himself couldn't save that team...
okay... I promised... sorry
*blows kisses out my kitchen window to the North East*
anyway... I drive a delivery truck all day so I get to see my share of lame fuckwad drivers as well... of course here in Pittsburgh... home of the... STEELERS!!!!!!
sorry again
here in Pittsburgh we call the bad drivers... Ohioians
or is that Ohioittes?
Ohio-oggers?
FIX THE GODDAMN BUTTON!!!!
please..........i love you.
tra la la la!
ok you have that title and no.... no Resivor Dog picture... ... what a let down.. i could even read that crap because i was so let down.. now i'm going to have to google the image from the scene where he gets is ear chopped off.
*drive by waving*
Idiots are everywhere. They're taking over, and there's nothing we can do about it except drink more alcoholic beverages.
I'll (hic) drink to that.
*passes matt and kevin the bottle of her new effin' vodka that is delish*
cheers!!
my favorite car is the chicago el train...till the drunken creeps fill it up...and start feeling me up...head rolling time!!
hey do you know Little Bar in cleveland?
Romeo (aka my very sexually confused fried),
Seriously, what's the deal? Or should I say "seriossly"? Is that how it's done, teach me the ways, sister.
asterisk - looks east, gives suck it sign - end asterisk
Man, you make it real hard for me to root for the Steelers tomorrow.
Cleveland is a bit difficult to get around in my opinion... I am lucky I have been able to get my way around... But I have almost gone down one way streets down there a million times. So I am one of the assholes!!
People are fucking idiots...
XXOO,
JTL
hey E..you want to bash people, don't do it on my blog you fuckin' douchebag.
K? K!
kisses!
Fuck you Romeo, the browns will rise again.
Douchewagon.
Umm. Go Seahawks?
*cowering*
K. You know Buttah, we don't have the luxury of stupid fuck-ups on the road... well sure there's a few...
But, they're not stopped.. they're traveling 90+ on the freeway with no regard to which lane they're in.
oh, and believe it or not.. I did get rear ended while stuck in bumper to bumper traffic...
tell me how the fuck THAT shit happened!
Wait, there's nothing wrong with the Browns....
"See what brown can do for you"
cute UPS men... ummmm.
Okay and i still confess that the Abercrombie and Fitch billboards they conveniently place in the worst dangerous traffic locations here make well, those locations even worse.
Hope the rebel in you will check out the seattle/NC game... and give a little shout out for the West Coast.. jus a lil.
Smoochums, and uh, thanks for the nipple tweak hotness!
the gardiner expressway here... yeah the main artery into downtown with a speed limit of 90km/hour?
LINES with flashing and video billboards.
seriously tv for drivers? WHO thinks THAT is a good plan??
The Butter, I was very disappointed with that insult. Outside of your ability to apply makeup, I do set a very high level of expectations for you. Don't let me down again.
And if you don't like what I have to say then just delete it.
it wasn't an insult, E, it was more a verification of truth.
and i'm not about censoring..but i think you should take it upon yourself to be a little less coy about your hate, and go to the source rather than using my blog as your sounding board.
A verification of truth??? ZINNNNNNG! Oh Butter, you did put me in my place with that one.
I don't hate. That's pretty strong. Mildly annoyed? Yes. But hate? C'mon, I don't take it that seriously. I just think of all these places as open forums. Please feel free to delete anything you don't find acceptable. I won't be offended (not that was a worry of yours).
What happened? We were getting along so well lately. I mean, remember the days? Benni Benassi, our dislike for DMB, hooker makeup, Sugarhill Gang? Da B, those experiences are part of what make up us, don't ever forget that. We have a special bond. As the future mother of my children, I can't have you acting like this.
oh god. i just vomited in my mouth a little when i read "we have a special bond"
and then just full on puked all over when i read "as the future mother of my children"
seriously! warn me before you engage in such debauchery of...me. ew.
regardless..i said i don't want to delete shit off my blog, and i think, as a matter of you being on the cusp of 30, you should outgrow these sick need you have to be the center of attention, and tuck back your attention whore ways while on other peoples forums
c'mon e..our future children are riding on this.
I want to be the center of attention? You know, I'm not going to even delve into the million reasons why I want to call you out for directing such an idiotic and judgmental comment towards me that couldn't be further from the truth. I've just realized that I give you a lot more credit than you deserve when it comes to saying much of anything intelligent. Good luck wit yo bad self.
so much for a playful forums you don't take seriously, eh?
tsk tsk.
try not to be so predictable next time, k? k!
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