there's nothing in the world that i ever want more than to feel you deep in my heart...and to never feel the breaking apart of all my pictures of you.

1. i'm not a cat fan. at all. i have a cat though..and aside from sleep, eat, shit, and take up half the bed even though she's all of 5 lbs....i never saw the point in cats. she and i have kind of been at this mutual understanding of "i prefer the dog" (stop thinking i'm some kind of bitch....she gets treats daily, i pet her whenver she's within arms length, she gets free reign over the house, she has the most state-of-the-art litter box i could find, and more toys than the dog).....however...i'm starting to realize the appeal of them..outside of soft fur, little to no real responsibility in the care of them....and they take up less of the bed (seriously...sofie takes up a good 3/4 of it because she HAS to touch me)......and what is that appeal? something to fuck with at ALL times.....because, honestly, nothing is more fun than fucking with a feline...especially when said feline is declawed.


2. i got my hair cut, and aside from the three people who were fortunate enough to see it (sorry guys! it's bad eh?), i ain't sharing...and my hair will be in a pony tail for a while, or at least 'til it grows out a bit. that said...i dyed it again. yup! couldn't handle the red...at all....and i don't know why....so.......it's dark brown...and that makes me happy :) (at least 'til i get roots again)


3. i found out why i'm a human scratching post........why? because the people at my dogs day care (okay..seriously..you all know i take her to day care....stop laughing!) changed their cleaner. yup! they change their cleaner, i break out into a rash and can't stop scratching myself...and have to soak myself in random medicated baths throughout the day...FUN!


4. that said, i have sensitive skin..right? and if you have sensitive skin, you are pretty much guaranteed to have horrible skin.......at least until you figure out some kind of regime that keeps break-outs to a minimum, doesn't over-dry or make you over-oily, blah blah blah. so with the help of accutane-two courses to be exact, laura mercier , and kiehls i've found my little regime that works pretty well.....and that brings me to my HNT pics.....

i lost a bet.

yea, it's rare i read people wrong...but, i did....and while that cunt ryan is dating has made it very clear that *i* am not invited, she is allowing him to throw a huge blowout bash for **his** daughters 5th birthday....so, i lost the bet to jake and e where i said "she's not going to let him do shit for z...."


and the painful outcome? knowing how self concious i am about my skin, my looks, and myself in general, (how's that for some jewish guilt...you bastards!) they basically said i have to post, for all the fucking world to see, me.....sans make-up.....

why? because there are very few times when i am without make-up (sleep, gym, sitting at home, random errands would be those few times). i think i look plain without it--eye make-up in particular. i know i have fairly decent coloring in that my eyelashes are black and all that, but my self confidence goes from about a -45654323 to a -223454 when i have it on, and it's just kind of become routine after so many years of having to cover shit up...to just slap on a bit of foundation and powder before i go on my merry way.

and thus, because bastard me is pretty much always true to my word....even if it revolves around the outcome of a gay, stupid, and pointless bet.....i'm posting them..

..i'm naked in the sense that i have no make-up on...and next week i'll post some tit shots...i promise!

this won't be pretty...and that is my forewarning..take heed**!

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ta dow...me, first thing in the morning, fucking with lulu...yes i'm one of those sick and twisted "morning people"...



and me..right before my commercial law class...because i don't give a fuck what people in school think of me...... especially at 8am when i got a whopping 2 hours of sleep beforehand. i 've got mascara and lipgloss on...because, those are saviors when you're draggin' ass on a tuesday morning....and they are like fuckin heroin in addiction level (yes, i'm aware i have big ol' eyes.....and i wasn't kidding about the ponytail thing, which kind of pains me....)






**all harmed caused by this post, whether to vision, opinion of the blogger, overall mental health or otherwise, is not the fault of the blogger. all harm caused is severely apologized for; however, in scrolling past the wonderfully placed elpises the reader has taken upon himself the bastard danger and disregarded all warranties, whether implied or express, regarding the nature of this blog. in so scrolling, tacit consent was given, and the harm caused is thus unable to be adjudicated in a court of american law.