in the post mortem departure of what a little girl could be....
the little girl found what she was looking for.
that's right....ladies and gentlemen....for the first time ever i've tossed aside the sign i bear that says "hello, i'm elle...let me be your doormatt".....and, in a rather unlikely turn of events that not even people closest to me could anticipate, i am being selfish.
you see, that's my problem.
for those people that find the charasmatic pathway into my good graces, and make a humble home in the chill of my heart....there is nothing i won't do for them. seriously. i literally become their doormatt if that's what it takes to keep them happy and smiling....
it's not to say i don't do what i want, or i don't think of myself or for myself....and i absolutely stay fiesty, shitty, and bitchy....
on the surface.
....but i'll more than willingly forgo the pettiness of those small self-wishes or desires-for-the-self if it means that the other person is happy. to me, it's no harm no foul. i enjoy it that much more knowing someone i deeply care about is happy/content, than i enjoy getting what i want....
and i really wouldn't have it any other way....for the most part
but about three months ago someone skipped the self-protection radar....and ran full throttle into my good graces....and he didn't deserve it...at all.
it was against my better judgment to even talk to him again, let alone let him back into my life...i've never ever given someone a second chance, but the past has a funny way of sugar coating things..and making you re-live things one good moment at a time.......
and like that...poof...he was in...
and now, he's completely out.
who the fuck can't remember anything about someone they supposedly care about? not even a birthday....
who the fuck can't take two minutes out of their day to text someone they respect to wish them luck on something that is extremely important to their career, happiness, and mental stability for that moment? and the bullshit excuse of "i don't want to disturb you", is just that...bullshit
who the fuck makes plans with someone, and then, upon a revision of those plans, totally backs out without so much as a phone call explaining why?
who the fuck makes overt statements to someone about the status of their relationship, and then in the public forum renegs on that statement and simply says "we just hang out"?
who the fuck can't put any effort into seeing/talking to someone that is supposedly important to them? unless of course it is convenient for them at that moment to see or talk to that person.....
who the fuck is so selfish that they can't see anything outside of themselves?
who the fuck asks if they did anything to make you mad, and then quantifies it with "you're being a bitch, and i don't like it"?
who the fuck says the most blatant accusations of misnomer and only says "i don't know why i said that" as a reason, and nothing more?
who the fuck doesn't ask someone they are supposedly dating anything about themselves, and justifies it with "i don't like to pry" instead of the real reason of "i just don't give a fuck about you, just care about me"?
him.
and who the fuck put up with it all for three months too long?
me.
but not anymore.
the assfuck is out.
good riddance.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
24 comments:
Atta girl!!....you're self esteem has gotta be cranked up a notch as well huh?
definitely good riddance to bad rubbish ... you're way better off without him. in fact, the world would be better off without him.
good for you. be selfish. *hugz*
Will: awww i'm so proud of you. and yes..cookies...when do you want them?
Trix: retribution is great huh? kind of like my ex who cheated and lied to me, etc, who got genital warts from the chick he decided was so much better than me. oops! in any event, i think most men are cut from that mold..and it's sad :(
SWEETS!!! holy hell! i miss you!!
Mike (aka Pops): eh. self esteem is still minimal, but i'm working on it :)
D: oooo i get a hug?!! even though i'm a grinch?!!
murph: uhhhhh, now. you called last night like a good boy HAH!
bmk:8 days of chanukah, you mean? they start the night of christmas, this year. so, so far...i guess uhh no celebration?
butta ... btw ... I fucked up the coding on the DZERette button ... the fixed coding is up on my site ... ya gotta switch it out or everything underneath it links to my site LOL ... doh!
umm no it doesn't....everything works fine darlin.
it depends what part of the sidebar you put it in, i'm thinking. plus i closed the tag off which i think you didn't :)
hmm ... when I hover my mouse over your archives, it shows as a link to my page ... I know I left a > out of there the first time around ... my bad LOL
when i do that it looks fine
alright i'll update it :)
whew ... my anal-retentive self was goin' a lil bit nutso ... but, of course, I made that quite evident LOL
and, btw ... never perceived you as a groove-harshin' grinch, and i totally understood/understand your feelings toward what is a pagan holiday to you LOL
Happy Hannukah
Chanukah?
Chaka-Khan?
Sounds like I felt a couple weeks ago. Let's hug.
awwww Will..what about the new woman :p
yea...he's a fucker. he's out.
i'm starting to think all men are fuckers!
so how about that naked hug?
i would love to think that all men are fuckers. except that i know too many awesome ones.
of course they're all gay or happily married or both. but still... they do exist they DO!
as for that guy? he sucked dude and good riddance to bad rubbish.
as for the pagan holiday? i'm not christian so i just try to get in the spirit with my loved ones but i don't give a crap about the religious nature of the season.
i do give a crap about the spiritual nature though :) [course i'm a self described non practising pagan]
i know not all men are fuckers. unfortunately, my really good guy friends treat me like a goddman queen....and then my brother is like a glowing exampe of an awesome guy....so is my dad. i have in-house examples that not all men are horrible. i just seem to find the ones that are...to date.
yea, that guy did suck. sadly, we have mostly mutual friends....so that means, if he's out of my life...i'm out of that circle of friends. *sigh* back to the starting block i guess...
religion is an opiate..if taken to extremes. a little faith in the spiritual is just peachy :)
yeah i have a little of that going on myself. i know what great men and great relationships are like and i just can't settle for less no matter how lonely i get. even if i try to settle my *self* just won't let me do it.
not that it's any consolation but my taste is at least as bad as yours!
that sucks that y'all have mutual friends, and i can sympathise with your desire to back off but if any of them approach you there's no reason you can't stay friends with a few of them. damm dude it sucks losing circles... i've done it myself.
you should remember that quote about religion, you've nailed my feelings about it perfectly!
The Butter, I know it may have just slipped your mind but you forgot to include me in that list of awesome guys.
And I'm dateable.
And I don't like DMB.
And I'm a boob guy.
And I like smartasses.
And I like girls who call me out on all my grammatical mistakes.
And I'll act like the world doesn't revolve around me, but only to your face.
And I'll let you Biggie Size your meals.
And you like me.
I don't know, it's a little scary when you take a step back how compatible we actually are.
that's so sweet of you Eazy E.....
taking your standards down a notch to make my hooker make-up self feel loved.
and you'd even let me biggie size my meal? dear god.
i feel the mother fuckin' love.
really.
Correction, that's BLIND hooker, my snuggly wuggly bundle of love.
god you're too god to me....i swear!
wow
blind hooker.
that's some mad makeup skillz you got going there girl!
i know.
it's a gift
years of learning and HOURS of applying to get this blind hooker look down.
and i do it all so i can get the affections and all this warm fuzzy name calling from E
isn't that right my little googely bear?!
Your pet name skills haven't reached my advanced levels but not bad at all for a first try. I can tell, young Butter that you have the potential for a really shcmooperific career in the pet name arena.
shcmooperific?
i can't even PRONOUNCE that!
Sass, good catch... it's schmooperific. Usually DB is so good about busting me on those, don't know what happened?
maybe she's away from her keyboard or something?
me i just know i was trying to figure out what it said! :)
i was writing an employment contract all day...
sorry!
i love you like a fat kid loves cake, E..won't let it happen again!
Post a Comment