Sunday, September 18, 2005

while in the warmth of a tomb...i was thinking to presume.....there was nothing in bloom

butt fucking mangina.

the funk aint' passin. i blame the coincidence of green pills and the most gorgeous full moon i've seen in a while, but this introspective "blah"ness has to go fucking go.

weekend wasn't anything spectacular. like all good things my short attention span self has kind of gotten bored with the local bar scene, or i guess the idea of driving out somewhere to sit, people watch, be a tard, and drink. in the end, though, what else is there to do?

anyway, it seems that a few people i know have taken a vested interested in my love life. last weekend sully walked up to a guy i mentioned was cute and said "have you met my big tittied friend?".......and yesterday, i arrive to the bithday bore of the week and mike is like "i found a guy for you." gevalt.

in other news, i seemingly have pissed off one of the construction workers that is now working right in front of my apartment building. while i was walking to class on friday at 11, one of the construction workers was on the phone, and as i stood there waiting for cars to stop going by i overheard: "i love this job, you know? especially when pretty girls walk by!" so i looked over at him, and what does he do? wink. and then he says into his phone "oh yea, she's gorgeous. dark hair...dark skin....skirt, high heels, nice tank top..."

....un-fucking believable...

so i casually take a few steps closer to him and say "you've got to be fucking kidding me. if you think that's clever, coy, flattering, or whatever, you're a fucking idiot"....and walked my way across the street. went to class, talked about the senate hearing for roberts blah blah blah, met some friends for lunch downtown....and then, as i'm walking back from juju's to my apartment...these two guys in a big ol' bull dozer thing start cat calling while at the red light on e. 14th. stupid me looks around like "who the fuck are they doing that to", and then i realize, save for a few women on the other side, i'm the only chick waiting to cross. i look at them perplexed...and realize the guy driving is the same asshole that was on the goddamn phone....light changes color....they drive off, i continue to walk...

and then i approach my building, where the chauvenistic men with no game congregate for strategic work purposes. the fucker who was on the phone was standing there having a cigarette, and i was waiting to finish mine..so i stood in the doorway, and he walks up to me.

"you should be flattered that a guy thought you were hot enough to brag about to his friend"
"umm, excuse me?"
"i'm saying you should be a little more appreciative of what i did then telling me i'm a fucking idiot"
"i should be appreciative of some asshole with a hard hat describing me to someone on the phone and using the quantifier of gorgeous? yes. you're right. nothing makes me feel more sexy than hoots, hollers, and feeling like a peice of meat. thank you so much!"
"if i thought you were meat, i would have commented on your giant knockers"
"like you just did? thanks."
"we should go out sometime. i like you"
"awww you do?"
"yea. you got spunk."
"and you want to add some of your spunk to it, huh?"
"you bet. so what do you say?"
"i say no fucking way would i ever even contemplate going out with a guy who thinks i should be thankful he objectified me in the first place, and who, above all else, has the audacity to fucking tell me i need to be thankful. class, tact, wit..you lack them all, and even if your dick was gold encrusted and diamonds shot out of it...i wouldn't even let you touch me, let alone go on a date with me. now, if you continue talking to me and don't let me finish my cigarette in peace, i will walk over to that cop, say you are harassing me and trying to expose your wee little privates to me, and get you a nice misdemeanor on your record, which would, i'm sure, translate to you losing your nice little cushy union job."

smart boy..he walked away....

but he wasn't done with me yet. noooooo...he somehow figured out i'm in 306, and proceeded to throw shit at my window ALL afternoon.

see what tomorrow has in store for me! you men are so mature sometimes!

33 comments:

J.U. said...

"...i will walk over to that cop, say you are harassing me and trying to expose your wee little privates to me, and get you a nice misdemeanor on your record, which would, i'm sure, translate to you losing your nice little cushy union job."

Now that was funny. Especially the "wee little privates" part.

Johnny Menace said...

no guy would have stood there and listen to the last paragraph. Right after the word contemplate... walk away..

Anonymous said...

Seems like that construction worker there you encountered is what we call a "pig" here in these parts....

Really...dudes can be so effin' stupid about that shit sometimes.

WTF is up with being so stupidly obvious about it? I guess guys think the chick is just going to walk right up and make-out with them right then and there....

DZER said...

now I see the reason your love life isn't hunky dory ... you actually have standards!

LOL

Now what you do tomorrow is ask for the foreman and then ask him what's the best legal recourse to take against one of his workers not only making sexist and suggestive comments to you, but who also decided to deface your apartment ... THAT should prove interesting.

btw ... tatt pics on my blog (end shameless plug)

da buttah said...

heh. so far nothing going on...and nothing thrown at my window :)

luckily i don't have to leave my apartment till 5:30pm for class :)

da buttah said...

aww you noticed? thanks murph!

da buttah said...

yup.

and the fucker sprayed water at my window

da buttah said...

i love it man!

Johnny said...

Ask god for a penis next time round.

peace!

da buttah said...

murph is so sweet huh?!

da buttah said...

i know

makes me wish i wasn't wearing a fishnet shirt today....i swear...

da buttah said...

naw....i sleep in a fishnet shirt....it's comfty



murph. you deserve a medal for how swee you truly are.

da buttah said...

ps..who the fuck would fall in love with me?

(sorry..just read that)

Timmy said...

Objects are fucking hot!
P.S. I didn't "throw shit at [your] window ALL afternoon," I stopped twice during my two union-guranteed 15-minute breaks. Just a technicality...

da buttah said...

Timmy: you can come on up. i'm smitten with you, remember?

da buttah said...

i aim to please yo. that, and i figure i can save a few bucks if i turn my ac off....and just skimp on clothing

da buttah said...

i can't sleep naked...it's weird!

unless someones in bed with me..i just...can't

da buttah said...

i can't! it's weird

i can go topless..but i at least have to wear some shorts

da buttah said...

i don't either. if someones in bed with me i can be naked

if not..i don't know....i got a dog and a cat on my bed with me....maybe that's it

da buttah said...

i don't know.

fine. i'll try the naked thing again when i'm alone?

murph wang in the morning. uch.

da buttah said...

my neighbors probably see me walk around naked

oh! I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEFORE!!

hmmmmmm.

da buttah said...

only for you murph. only for you

da buttah said...

picture

da buttah said...

now i just need a reason to wear that dress.....hmmm

da buttah said...

so i'm supposed to puke 'em back up? that's what i've been doing wrong

da buttah said...

i thought the 12-year-old-boy look was still in.....

da buttah said...

ick?

i knew i liked you for a reason murph

da buttah said...

*shrugs*

i could never be that chick. damn my body build

da buttah said...

and that purpose is?!!

da buttah said...

i'm assuming it's for head..and to get your guy friends jealous

Anonymous said...

That is some reality you have there cawmrad.

jay shail said...

men suck

"Jet" said...

I knew it!!! I should have taken you home!!!