30 minutes to go before tax law.....speed blogging now commences!!
1. to the assholes who feel the need to point out that the back alley behind my apartment is a one way road: I KNOW! i live here. i use that alley at least 3 times a day...i'm fully aware that i'm going the wrong fucking way....so kindly, STOP, flailing in the direction i'm supposed to be going. it's annoying.
2. to the mens soccer team who practices on the feild i can see from my window: god bless you for going shirtless. GOD BLESS!
3. to my neighbors on the left (when facing the door: dear fucking god, guys! have you guys gone on some kind of weed binge?! i walk down the hall and for the past three days a giant puff of pot smoke is right in front of my door. i think i'm getting a contact high...i have this insane craving for cookie dough ice cream...and waffles.
4. to the beggars who ask me for money nightly as i walk my dog: ummm, i hear it's more effective if you ask while on the same side of the street as the person you're asking....preferably within touching distance.....i think, i'm not sure...and don't want to tell you how to do your begging job.....but, i'm that much less inclined to give you my money when you yell at me from across the street 'cause you are scared of my 37lb dog.
5. to my constitutional law professor: what the fuck am i supposed to be taking notes on? like..seriously..i am so confused as to what the man babbles about for 2 hours is going to be on an exam......for serious y'all.
6. to the "survivors" of katrina: shut the fuck up.
7. to the fuckers at adelphia: what the fuck?! i miss one month payment and you disconnect me?! one month! one fucking month in almost two years....and i missed it because i was in NY and forgot to pay it 'cause i was moving back....and you ball munching bastards disconnect my cable tv and my cable internet?!! what the shit!? and then when i call in to figure out why nothing in my apartment works, the woman on the other line has the gall to say "well, if you paid your bill it wouldn't be an issue. we take non-payment very seriously"....ummm, who the fuck shot a nail gun up your poon? i missed ONE MONTH! they didn't even asses a late fee! fuckers.
8. to my cat, lulu: did you think i wouldn't notice the giant hole in the side your bag of food, or the fact you haven't left that corner of the apartment for the last four hours? fat ass!
9. to the guy who sits next to me in taxation: please stop looking at my computer screen and reading my conversations with people/whatever i'm looking at. it's rude..and in poor taste. you really want to avoid class, do it like the rest of us: use your own laptop.
10. to all of you: have a fantastic weekend =0)
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43 comments:
Why exactly do I find #8 so fucking hilarious? Is it because I have a fat-ass basset hound who does the same thing, or is it because I've been huffing paint thinner for the better half of the afternoon? Either way...
Don't you hate how companies punish you for being HUMAN??? The fuckers!!
constitutional law should be one of the greatest classes, given that the constitution itself is so amazing. I hate it when fascinating subjects get turned into boring, monotonous endeavors.
and give the bums across the street "Begging for Dummies," available in your local bookstore now.
and cable companies are the devil's minions, as are banks, airlines, utilities and ... well, lawyers ;)
why the grrr Murph?
my dog is an angel. she never does anything, it's frightning. and if you call her out on doing something wrong, she actually apologizes and goes and sits in her crate till she either forgets about it, or stops feeling guilty. it's incredible.
i want to teach my dog to attack Jersey.....and just sit outsidewth bags of change...muhahhahha
They're so hot dude!
I knew soccer was good for something ...
*I holds out my hand in front of the liquor store* can you spare some change Cawmrad, I need it for some lunch.
I can't spare any of my money. I need it all to get other people and myself lit up tonight. I did not donate to katrina victims because of this. I am evil.
Can I ask a question?
How in the fuck does water all of a sudden show up and you are trapped in your attic? I mean, were you just chilling and all of a sudden you are like fuck! head for the attic we are all gonna drown! Get on the roof too! RUN! RUN!
Sorry...
P.S. God please bless the people that died. Also, thank you natural selection...
uch. they're being such whiney bitches down there. it's obnoxious.
if you have a cause....don't tell people what they are doing to fix your cause and aid your cause is WRONG.
word of advice
it was a fucked up storm
but....it was a giant fucking storm...that gave a shitload of warning. and i'm not saying what happened doesn't blow...but.....everything people are doing isn't enough to them, and that's shitty of them
ps: bush government isn't to blame for what's happening. and i know this is a great time for people to attack the president..but it's all congress. not him.
I would not have left my texas ranch vacation...
seriously. that's vacation time. nobody fucks with vacation time
and, just cause the movie rocks
nobody fucks with jesus.
I am going to take a vacation tonight... one from reality... I am going to tell everyone in the bar just before closing time, there is a hurricane coming and we need to get on the roof... just as an experiment... I wonder what will happen...
he's not the man. the president's power to do shit is minimal. it's all about congress, and it's their inefficiency and stupidy that is letting people die.
eh.
he can't do shit without congress approval though. that's the problem.
regardless
there's no excuse for the way those people are acting. hurricane does not justify looting, raping, or killing.
the end.
next topic.
why does cum float?
yea. there will be no bush hating on my blog. sorry.
why? because kerry was a bigger dipshit.
no more political talk.
oh my god dude that rhyme was hot.
dude! i get my hair did today!
guy is out.
my eyebrows are black. now my hair is too. getting a few highlights. shawing
i am not a commitment-a-phobe. why do you think i am?!
getting a pedicure: pink.
hate having my nails done
jah dude. not black, but really dark brown.
quick?
he got 3 dates. more than most guys get.
see what guy gets to date number 4!
naw. pink is in.
work the red and blonde dude...i like it :)
her hair was black with white polka dots?!
or her nails?!
anyone want anything from subway? i'm stopping there after class :)
he didn't do anything wrong.
ooo nails!
oh chipotle sounds kind of good....but....subway is in the downstairs of my apartment...so....i'm lazy.
i can't believe i'm going to say this because i'm totally a liberal and if i were in teh us i'd vote democrat
BUT
kerry is a total fucking pussy
and how is it shrub's fault that people are too stupid to leave when there's clear warning and then too stupid to leave when it's clear that your city is fucked for a very long time?
also, way to work together and care for each other people.
awwww murph wants to date me!
murph. you want me
admit it.
you want my vulcan style
I KNEW IT!!!!
mmmm vulcan chicks have the hottest eyebrows :)
hahahahhaa sass!!
hey. i had to tell you about the vulcan!
aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrghhhhh fuck! i haven't been here in a bit. how's everything?
yup i'm naive... and vulcan chicks still have the hottest eyebrows... please explain :)
to the "survivors" of katrina: shut the fuck up
damn a little harsh don't you think?
harsh? me?
fuck off.
am i on ignore status here? or did one of my fellow wedding party people completely piss someone off?
Yeah, fuck victims.
Nice Blog... People who read your messages on comp are like those who insist on reding your paper over your shoulder. It's like get ya own, jerky!!
So are you just racist and that's why you don't give a shit about all of the poor people who lost everything,some including their children, or are you really just that much of a self centered bitch? Wow and you wonder why all you date is losers, it's called Karma.Try thinking of someone other then yourself and maybe a good man will come into your life. You're parent must be so pround!
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