good news: 31 years ago today my parents got married in israel. 31 years later they are still in love, and disgustingly cute together. how awesome is that?!!
bad news: my momma needs surgery. her carotid artery has reached 70% cloggage, and the time has come to put a stent in. this is made all the more complicated by the fact that my mom, in recent years, has started to forget certain words....thus sort of suggesting the possibility of mini strokes. so today she goes in for an mri to make sure shit is good, which i'm sure (and hoping it is), and she'll go home and we celebrate according....but, if not, well? she stays in the hospital and has the procedure tomorrow. my poor momma. happy anniversary to her eh?
good news: i go home in 5 days!
bad news: i go home in 5 days.
good news: e and me......3 times friday, 5 times saturday, 2 times sunday. 'nuff said.
bad news: i absolutely hate that kevin little song...seriously..how is it humanly possible for anyone with a dick to sing that high? either way...that song has been playing on the radio NON-STOP this past weekend...grrrrrr
good news: and to leave shit on a good note--i'm strangely okay with that kevin little song because it reminds me of jamaica mon!
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my mom lives by those words. she's your typical "you only ate half as much as i cooked for an entire african country..EAT!" jew mom.
not worried that she won't come out okay...just worried she won't get to enjoy her day with my dad.
best wishes for your moms "all clear" - im sure that will be the case.
3 times on a friday, 5 times on a saturday, and 2 times on sunday? Let the man have a pepsi break girl - you dont wanna wear him out just yet. Ah, young love ... just wait till he's scratching his nuts, farting, and knocking you back in order to watch Monday night football...
rm: are you serious?! dude, borrow my mom. i hate potato pancakes, so she makes me my own zucchini ones...hell, she makes three meals just so my bro and i have what we want to have, and she and my dad get what they want. wow. welcome to the fam RM!
lmg: young love? eh.
Woah. You and E? Are you fucking kidding me Bizzleteen?
Hick: heh we rested :)
rm: i got some plof if you want it....but that's not jewish..that's russian. shit!
big poppa!! how was the 'couver? uhhhh....*looks innocent* did nothing. heh.
yea! went over well i guess. they ate it. we eat anything as long as it's dead...and even if alive my bro and dad will still go for it. yipes.
Vancouver rocked! Nice break. I got a shitload of work to do now, BUT! and I emphasize BUT! I will be calling you later for an update on this whole E&E thing.
Oh! Wish your parentals a happy anniversary. Flowers are on the way from me now. Not that you need help making Gary look bad. HOO!
yea i'll call you pops. swear it's nothing...SWEAR!
roofies....mmmmmm, hot!
Elle:
Hoping that everything goes good for your mom ... sending out good thoughts from Guam ...
and way to hit that, buttah-slizzle!
dzer! i miss the old picture!
he's gonna kick my izzzasssssss!
good news: i think i'm still drunk from my evening w/ psycho billy cadillac!
bad news: i'm at work!
e---you could so take him. okay that's a total lie haha! die fucker die!
shane! no shit. but drunken work rocks =0)
Jersy! how was your weekend?
awww ... ya don't like the crazy axe bullish minotaur thing? it doesn't sing "DZER" to ya?
*snorts and paws dirt*
he's cute......i guess......your icon dzer, do what makes ya happy!
I'm sure it will change again soon.
I actually have a few more toons of me a friend of mine did for some magazine columns I wrote way back when ... just found them again and need to scan them in.
md...my mom's already had a double bypass.i know the drill haha....and why would anything be wrong with me?!
dzer: i tried to change my pic..bastards won't let me,go figure.
yea, i'm going down ey? essai gonna work me like straight welfare. fuck. see what trouble you get me into?!
aww everything okay MD?
Jersey...hah told you the yankee's would kick anaheim asssssss.
E: vato style. haha
well, you have no reason to change yer pic ... it's poifect, to quote a Stooge ... nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.
It has sass, gumption, cheesy smile ... it says: I'm a hottie, and fuck you very much.
Dzer..exactly...all things that aren't me :)
MD: i recommend the 5 times a day thang. it really is nice. i assure you.
sure, why not Md
thanks Ed. she's fine! she's a trooper.
My best wishes to momma.
Hope all is well after today.
there's something about calling a vet....that really truly makes me feel like i have kids.
*shudder*
Sorry to hear about your mom. Hope everything turns out ok.
Happy Monday.
49 years?! jesus christ...haha....that's just crazy to think about. your parents have been married nearly a half century. wow. that's crazy.
morning dude? wasabi?
momma's fine..called, she's ducky.
buttah ... yay for you, your mom and fam!
I met this couple here a little while ago ... 60 years married ... yowza!
uhhh well Hick.....my real daddy...and uhhh, you?!
dzer--isn't that nuts?!! i can't even stand someone for more than a week, and here they are living together for 60 years. OY!
49 years...someone needs to go back and read again.
5,3,2 times for YOU or 5,3,2 times for HIM.....
buttah ... don't look at me ... the longest I can stay with a woman is for $40 ... which equates to about 20 minutes at the buy-me-drinkee bars
but at least each one of those mini relationships are open, honest (plus good groping) and we both leave thinking we got a good deal out of it!
awwww that's really uplifting jersey!
i saw an old couple at the restaurant i went to on sunday morning..they were like 80...they were sitting next to each other in the booth and holding hands while they waited for their food...and were talking...and it was just so cute.
i want that. and i hate that i want that.
hey....everyones going to get old and wrinkly and nasty. one of those things you have to deal with
and every old person i know isn't depressing....hell, my grandpa is staying with me for a week, and he cracks me up!
Good luck to your mom, congrats to your parents...
Bigger congrats to you... wow, don't you just loooove the way you feel after a weekend of marathoning?
Potato pancakes sound really tasty right about now. I'm secretly cursing the person that mentioned those.
there's something comforting in knowing that people get married....and even after years of marriage and being together...they sit together, they hold each other's hands..blah blah blah..admit it Jersey. it's that bit of faith that reality has sucked from our generation seeing as divorce is the new black.
yea..well i'm the kind of jaded youth who grew up with two parents who oogled each other...and still stare at each other all lovey dovey....talk about fucking jading your perception of an ideal relationship.
but our end results are the same. no marriage, no kids...well...no rush for either. just chill and let shit roll.
agreed Dude.
and god have mercy on the soul of the poor guy that tries to divorce either of us. between the pre-nup i plan to write, and our rage....he's gonna die. word dude.
yay double posting!
naw i think blogger just died.
and dude...you're parents love and respect each other enough not to go run and get divorced at the first sign of anything they don't want. and that's a good point to take from them.
well. according to that crazy palm reader on main street in HB...divorce wise we're good.
no i agree Jersey...however, there is something to be said for safeguarding what you have and reality. And, in today's day and age people are bringing more to the marriage table than ever before...mostly because people are older and have established careers before they taket he plunge....so, people want to make sure they leave with what they came with. If anything, it could be seen as a end-means to the growing trend in people divorcing.
nope. the real shittiness comes with the annexes to a pre-nup that says "if x then you are entitled to only y$; if cheating, you are entitled to NOTHING, or, in the case of spousal cheating, you entitled to x$"....that is having no faith in the sanctity of marriage.
saying i want my fucking vacuum cleaner back if it doesn't work? that's just realizing i love my vac, and want it back.
they predict that japan, as a nation, will no longer exist in like 200 years...they aren't reproducing fast enough while other asians are moving in and popping 'em out like mad. s'like the loss of the white man on the west coast...haha...okay i found that funny, bite me.
if i'm moving..it's to some place tropical.
amen to that dude. the reasons people get divorced are retarded most of the time anyway. "i could 't keep my dick in my pants" "i hate how he rolls up his pant leg when he's full"..blah blah blah. asses
all hail Mike!
haha best part: the guy who says that....is like overflowing in his sweatpants and scratching his nuts.
whatever Jersey....call it what you want. OVERFLOWER!!
i'll beat a guys ass. i really want to at least.
just for my own benefit and release.
hmm
next!
ut oh...mike digs guy on guy action?
be sure to hit up brighton beach when you hit that point! fit right in with the russians in speedo's and muscle tee's!
oh my god shopping for a bluetooth headset is killing me
my most humble appologies Jersey....but you look hot in that loin cloth.
but there's so many..and i want a good one!
and all the reviews i've read are kinda like "eh..it does it's job"...
oh lord... what a horrid mental image for a holiday monday
buttah i hear you on the parents thing... mine are at 39 or something adn still madly in love. makes it hard to find something that lives up to that.
yea dude? what kind do you have? jabra?
i know Sass...but hey...least it's something optimistic to live up to?
hahhahaha! i'm live chatting with a bluetooth headset specialist.
oh god..the homosexualness is fun! he's hot though!
yea i'm looking at plantronics.
my headset specialist just recommended it. woot!
haha chat with them!
i know Jersey....but this is funny..i'm arguing with him!
Only 10 in a weekend? Can't say I'm impressed.... :)
well he said they only stock the best of the blue tooth head sets..to which i say "well you only stock 8, so you're saying the other 30 i'm considering are total crap"
"no, but we haven't had many returns on these products and thus continue to stock them"
"so you have had returns then? so they aren't as great as you're stating"
"not neccesarily. all products come with a personal like or dislike ont he part of the consumer"
"how many returns are we talking? i don't want to buy a product that's been returned numerous times, no matter how much lower than other such products"
blah blah....he's getting frustrated with me haha
hey..zev has to know who's he's giving advice to....muhahaha. whatever...he's amused....well..okay..least i am.
Mike..with Jersey on that one. Maybe a pedicure too?
I'm down for a pedicure, which one of you wants to pull off my socks?
ew i don't do feet.
meet you at the vietnamese pedicure place Jabberstud.
10 dolla? better give me some suckeee suckeee now
Jersey. you my boy! come to the titties!
murph!! 'sup ?!
sorry dude.
but....i wanted to suckee suckee Jersey.
sowwy, won't happen again
s'all good. i look like arse....and i've lost the intent to suckee suckee.
how vast veekend?
jou willis!
mine was fine.
haha i love how people assume i'm talking about sex with e and me. i'm talking about kicking his ass at random games we played haha..
oh i fucking worked him in SSX!
oh please Murph. you thought it was sex until i said anything.....
it's fun. now jakie is going to kill e! EE!!
thanks for upping my self esteem baldy.
dude! no shit?!! i am so down if i'm on break! uhh if i go to vegas i'll uhh bring my ps2? okay..not.....hmm...haha
so you really think i'm that ugly..huh Murph?
we can play real life packman.
go find a maze...set up some people in fruit suits....instead of getting the magical large dot..you drink a pitcher of some alcohol....i'm feeling it man.
No. I'm hurt. Murph thinks I'm hideous.
i can afford a ps3?!! NU-UH!!!
Mammoth, never been..but if i get to don my snowboarding stealth apparel, some braids, and a snowboard i'm one hizappy biatch.
ya know what......i bought $600 shoes Jersey...GET OVER IT!!
i'll show ya man. and then you can laugh as i eat shit.
oooooo!!! excited for da snowboarding!!!!
it fucked up my comment
that was supposed to say "if you ever need a reason to not do meth..scroll down" with a hyperlink
and then below it me jumping for joy for snowboarding
thanks MD
yea..though meth will make you lose more weight than you ever thought...uhh i like having a purdy smile....
i'd rather be a crack whore anyway.
1 hour. i can do this. then it's flower shoppin time.
awww murph wants to do us dude!
like i even know where to get flowers around here. grocery store? i don't know where that is either. fuck me!
awww murph. so huggable...
well Jersey....put it to you like this:
I have a blue office, with a door.
I come in at 6:30 am
This is my last week of work, thus no ones giving me dildo to do.
nothing. i just think it's hilarious they color coded the offices here! my chairs are blue....even for my conference table!
yes Jersey..back to legal escuela...meh.
i deleted it! god!
i go to Cleveland Marshall School of Law....why? because the ass bastards over at Case's School of Law wouldn't let me do an MACc with my legal degree. So fuck 'em,I save 15k a year on tuition, and get the edumacation i want.
what ya going for? and where?
oh yea Murph.....i went to a top ten undergrad school to end up at tri-c!
wow. all in really boring locations there J haha
sdsu has a good business escuela dude!
but i'd avoid mba...you want finance, do accounting....employers are holding up on the mba's, and cutting their salaries. plus accounting is one fuckin high paying, hot career at the mo. boring as shit though.
i lived in Cinncy...it sucked ass dude.
what about Rutgers?
iono....tax law isn't exactly thrilling...well no law is..but i figure the quicker i make my money, the less i have to work. bring on the boring tax law!
seriously dude. dare i say, dramatic irony?! heh
my cous goes to rutgers..i heard good things about their MFA...just asking.
well..see where you get in, then narrow it down :) i was planning on going to Columbia..oops!
how long you been with girlfriend?
word up on that Murph. best way to do it is to get the company to pay you.
Memphis is fun..Cincy blows. nuff said.
Vermont..that's where Monteclaire is, right?
not loaded. Women set up expectations after a certain amount of time......no matter how sane and logical they are (dude and i can vouch for it)....so..she's an issue you gotta think about, do what ya gotta do or not.
ahhhh. really?!
Pictures it in Vermon..in which case i'd have to visit you for snowboarding purposes!
it'd only be loaded if i knew the two of you..seeing as i barely know you..and i could care less (and i mean that in the nicest way possible..seriously) about her...not that loaded!
naw looks shady on resumes if you do that...then again..this is english.
total side note: portishead always makes me feel like having sex.
if you teach.
what else is there to do with a PhD in english? not to like make light of what you're doing or anything..i'm honestly curious..because i wanted to do creative writing at cornell and my dad nearly shot me at the mere suggestion.
PR opens up if you have a strong business background too though.
eh i come from the most left brain thinking family around, i think....
i'm happy as a pig in shit i convinced my dad to go to law school. no more pushing for me :)
if you hope not..then don't do that silly.
you want to teach college...go for it!
damn, and i almost felt special
i think advertising would be fun..cause i'm one random weird bitch...
can i move in mysterious ways too?
i took one advertising class in undergrad...had a blast with it...thought of a cool commercial involving bunnies, fucking over redbull, and mad copulation. got an "A".
thanks MD. i appreciate it :)
our product was some kind of energy alcoholic beverage....so the bunny drinking red bull and vodka got his wings and couldn't get back to the chick bunny. the guy just drinking beer passed out..so that left the bunny with our product and the women free to "enjoy the nightlife"
eh. okay..in retrospect not so good haha
uch matsushita!!
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The authoritative message :), funny...
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