today i decided to add to my morning run--bad idea. not only is waking up at 4:45 the most horrid idea in the world, and i seem to endeavor and succeed in waking up so early every fucking day except sunday, but deciding to add another mile to my run just wasn't going to help my sleep-deprived-"i'm such a tard already"-cause. not only did i run an extra mile, but i had to speed up the other four miles so i could still be showered and out the door by 6:25. thus, i ask you to excuse my stupidty today. i promise tomorrow i will not diverge from the course, and i will stick to things as planned; however, until then.....here are some things i was pondering while making the 1.3 mile trek to work this lovely morning:
pondering 1.0: when did mariah carey become bearable? dare i ask, when did mariah carey become--well--kind of good? this also begs the question: how many times can you sell your soul to the devil for the sole purpose of fame and fortune?
pondering 8.9: can people drive----in any state? or, for my hot aussie, can people drive in any country?
pondering 7.2.1: no matter how old you are...no matter how much you've accomplished in life...no matter how far you've progressed and proven yourself.......moving back home with the parents, no matter how perfunctorily, is going to suck giant monkey balls.
pondering 7.2.2: that sucking of giant monkey balls, though a pain in the ass and more annoying than anything, will pale in comparison to saving a shitload of money on utilities, and paying rent. plus you get free food!
pondering 5.2: i am the black sheep of my family....and it blows. it blows mostly because my parents are the type of parents who hold nothing back, say anything truthful, and aren't ashamed to admit i've made some dumb dumb choices in my past--or at least choices they thought were dumb. i've strayed from the intended chik-of-idel path and i'm reminded of it each and everyday. yay!
pondering 2.4: it's summer. it's 90 degrees out and it's only 7am. why in gods green earth am i sitting with a space heater under my desk so that i dont' freeze my ass off?!!
pondering 10.8: i was recently reminded of the corporate business casual dress code. i was also recently reminded that i don't work at corporate headquarters, i work in the global research facility for corporate. because of the nature of engineers and scientists...and because most of the work done here at global research is in a lab...there is no dress code here; thus, fuck me wearing my business suits to work everyday! ghetto khaki's and a polo here i come.
pondering 4.1: will i ever like coffee?
pondering 6.0: someone asked me yesterday what i hate most about being female....assuming i would say "oh, duh! like my period and like stuff!"..well he's wrong. i hate the fact i have to de-hair about 5/6 of my body regularly....in particular, i hate plucking my eyebrows
pondering 6.1: what do you hate most about being male/female?
pondering 3.98: you know those people who always have to put in their personal 2 cents about their own self plight in the face of your own bitching or blanket stating of plight? i hate those people. example: i was explaining to my friend yesterday that in order to get paid my salary i have to work 80 hours per week, otherwise they pro-rate my salary for the hours i did work...and they don't pro rate in my favor. on the upside, i do get time-and-a-half for every hour i work over 80. so as i explain this to him, and i go on to tell him that my boss is on vacation for the rest of my internship, and that means i can slack on working my 14 hour days and maybe not come in on saturday like i do now......he says "yea, well, at least you don't wake up at 3:30 every morning". wha?! where the fuck did that come from? no where did i say anything about "morning" "waking up" or "hey what time do you wake up". i countered with " no, i wake up at 4:45 and i don't get home at 1pm like you do.. i get home at 8:30pm"....to which he said "don't pull that 'you-can't-bitch-about-work' shit with me", to which i said "fine" and hung up on him.
pondering 9.5: i say we put the sprint pcs guy and the verizon wireless guy in the ring to fight to the death.
pondering 11.7: i'm sure by now you've seen the ads that citibank has plastered across the country with slogans that basically say there's more to life than money. example: one billboard says "hugs are at a 52 week high"....uhhhh, no...i'm sorry....that's the last message i want my bank to be sending out. i want my bank to run ads that says "we'll kill a man for a nickel".....
maybe i'll get more inspired later..seeing as i'm the only person in my office for day three of my work week.....
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89 comments:
Can people drive in any country? Do you mean 'if you can drive in one country, you can drive in any?'? Not sure about that. I assume that if you have comparable road rules etc.
Or did you mean can they drive as in..are they skilled on the road? I guess there are fuckos anywhere you go. If these aren't what you meant, clarify, biatch.
As for not liking coffee: you'd better start, else this relationship is never going to work.
my bad! let me clarify:
i meant skilled drivers
and sorry darling, i hate coffee..but i drink tea like it's going out of style :)
It is going out of style, baby. It went out with big boobs and teabaggin'..oh wait.
I'm not sure what a skilled driver would be to you - aren't you from New York where nobody drives (or so all the movies tell me)?. Most of us manage to stay in our lanes, but I have a big problem with people high beaming me all the time.
Parah Adumah
ok,ok i admit i was a bit rude yesterday but the idea of screwing a mans shaved ass make me want to vomit no really it does !
but it is true i do find you rather witty and it is refreashing to see someone frankly so.
coffee sucks ass "smells good tho"
and not shit i am on edge and cant wait to see your next post
-D- P.S.
Looks like someone's got a secret admirer.
Your work hours scrare me, to the point of crazy. When reading how much you work, I had the desire to run into the break room and start chugging coffee...and I friggin HATE coffee.
I need a Gatorade.
Hedge: only in nyc do people not drive, upstate new york you HAVE to drive because the closet grocery store is 12 miles away....or uhhh 19.3km. (i think been a while since physics!)
Mr. Anonymous: you didn't offend me, and thanks for thinking i'm witty. feel free to make the most offensive disugsting comments you want. i enjoy them
Hick: benefits! where are they =0)
Eric: trade you a gatorade for some green tea. and my work hours aren't too bad actually. beats doing nothing!
So, what, is coffe now really uncool over there in YankyLand? We are so behind the times, dude. We haven't even reinstated the death penalty yet! :P
Hedge: i say we re-instate quartering! and stockades...cause those are just fun!
alright hick..fine....i know what these billable hours are....i know what it takes....and i could do it in half the time. why not just hire me?! hehe
eddie: i can't even smell coffee..makes me kinda sick to my tummy-o.
mariah who?
you're not a driver until you've driven in a foreign country and lived
monkey balls are palatable if boiled slowly and served with asian peppers
don't be afraid to add sugar and cream to coffee.
the worst thing about being male? that anyone can incapacitate you totally by merely grazing your ballsack.
you need to talk to a representative from the department of labor.
... and would you prefer gloating answers to your work laments? I wake up at 9 a.m. ... but often sleep in till 9:30 ... as long as I'm at work by 10:15, I'm usually OK ... I live less than a mile from work and still drive there ... I take 2-hour lunches ... I'm usually out of the office by 5:30 ... the last hour or two of my day is just me sitting around reading or surfing the net ... heh
I'll give you 3-to-1 on the sprint guy
all banks suck ass
on your 2 cents...
people should definitely wait their turn to bitch...that's a huge pet peeve.
not so sure about you mariah carey assessment, but i gotta say that glitter was a fabulous movie.
Mariah sucks big, hairless, tea-bagging balls.
Worst thing about being male? Not much, dude. Not much.
clarification on the mariah comment: her latest songs aren't deplorable and are almost...dare i say it....catchy!
it's no secret "ok well it is a lil bit" but really she's smart, have you seen her pic sexy too wish i could see more lol, she's jewish which is not a bad thing at all, very opinionated "which i find as a turn on" least she knows what she wants ! and my g-d every day she gets me to laugh "in the best possible way"
i must admit the first time i see her "your" blog i first thought man this biatch is crazy but after a few day s i realized shes not crazy just being real and in this world that is hard to come by.
as for mariah she still sucks monkey balls "not a fan" as if you couldnt tell .
-D-
oh shit worst thing about being male "morning boner "yea have to wait to piss and that can really suck seeing that yea gotta piss so bad
other then that i would agree with hedger not much !
-D-
Yeah, we are pretty adorable. People just want to fuck the shit out of us, hey, anon?
alright anonymous..which one of my retarded friends are you?! or which one told you to come post on here?!
and morning wood rocks. it's a sign from god that says "hey..you..yea..you..roll over and do him..NOW"
mdcrazyblog: bring your balls on over..i got a cup of green tea with their name on it.
I think she'd love to have a man breathing down her neck...
....I'm with you on the coffee, karmadog, but I own no Mariah cds.
what are the social stigmas of being a guy?
having to be the one that kills the giant cockroaches?
being the one who has to move the furniture?
being required by society to fight the dude who bumps into you at a crowded bar, even though he said "sorry, man"?
feeling emasculated when the car breaks down and you don't know how to get it running yet still going through the "pop-the-hood-and-check" routine
don't forget the major positive: we can pee just about anywhere, anytime with relative ease
md: blue gatorade and a mini bucket await you. office 2cjk9 in the c wing.
ck: i post every 15 minutes cause i'm one of those sick people who has to do four things at once to get one thing done...and no, no mariah carey cd's...but i do have a song downloaded...BUT IT WAS FREE! oh, and i kind of like my work hours when my overtime is included in my pay check...that's devine!
hedge: only if you're the man doing the breathing =0)
and dzer has hit my penis envy on the head: i long to write my name in the snow! i long to be able to pee wherever my heart desires and not have to have a packet of kleenex readily available. SO JEALOUS!
there's no greater sense of freedom than cruising down a long highway and needing to pee ... and having an empty bottle or Slurpee cup handy ... keep on truckin'!!!
And as I breathe down your neck, you hear in the wind a faraway lilting voice. It seems to speak of a love of ages..."Te voglio bene assaie ma tanto bene sai/É una catena ormai che scioglie il sangue dint'e vene sai"...
..But then you listen closer and actually hear "Are you ready to rock, Children of the NIght!?"
depends on what work hours are stipulated CK....mine are 80...to give me that authentic lawyer feel...rawr.
wow dzer..i'm now reminded of the trucker bomb epidemic.
*waits patiently for md....* =0)
Bizzleteen, that blew. I mean I love you to pieces, but I know you can do better than this piece of shit you call a post. HOO-HAH! And stop talking to Igor, you two just bitch non-stop about each other.
Thing I hate about being male: The way things look after four days of no sex. Holes, of any sort, take on a whole new meaning--if you know what I mean!
your work hours do suck and gives me insight into why most lawyers are such asses — they're still pissed about all the hours they had to put in during the early days!
and I remember the glorious days of OT ... blast my decision to join the ranks of salaried management! though the 2-hour lunches are a good benny ... heh heh
I think your deathmatch idea with the Sprint guy and the Verizon guy is a great idea!
Of course, since the Verizon guy makes me want to chew off my own face...I'd have to cheer for the Sprint guy.
md: we're golden.
dzer: i'm an ass? i'm hurt!
Big Pops: who the fuck is this anonymous?! better not be you fucktard! and yea, the zep came on when i talked to you online yesterday. to lazy to reply to your e-mail =0)
I'll second that. Morning wood is fine - reminds you who does the thinking around here. But random wood gets annoying, especially on public transport. Getting off at the wrong station because of it is no fun.
and thus the caveat "most" ...
... I don't know you well enough to make a call on your assness yet, but I'll keep you posted. I'm sure you'll be holding your breath ... heh
and I will spare you the innumerable lawyer jokes ...
Ducati: i'm only living with them cause they happen to live 1.3 miles away from where i'm working this summer. 3 weeks till i'm back in my apartment. SHWING!
dzer: bring on the lawyer jokes. i wrote one on my admission essay for christ's sake!
okay..can't you guys learn to control the wood? like all of a sudden the wee man is like "ohhhhh your shorts rubbing this way feels so good"...and then doesn't your brain go "NO! bad wee man"? i thought it got better as you guys got older!
Morning wood is a pain sometimes. Many a morning I’ve WWW (Woken With Wood) only to quickly turn over and effectively break the mothafooka off at the base - ouch!
I don’t find a hairy ass to be much of a problem when the weathers cold and im'a entertaining alfresco! (and, no, im not too stingy to spring for a hotel room - sometimes you just can’t wait).
A shaven pussy is not for me - I prefer a little "grass on the mound" as I like to floss after lunch!
this is no joke, i dont know any of your friends "big suprise"just came across your blog a while ago and well been intreged ever sense, nobodys put me up to anything so you can be rest assured your friends aint fuckin with yea, i just have the day off and well am keeping up on things lol
-D-
You and your conspiracy theories. Minute someone is halfway nice to you, you think it was one of us who did it!I SWEAR!
By the way, good job D -slips him a 10-
KIDDING!
Ducati: i love that movie! "we could kill them all" "what do you think?" "i'm strangely comfortable with that!"
Dude--throw in some catherine zeta jones too then with her t-mobile shit...
you know me and my money making schemes.
and ducati..make it 2/3, and that'd be about right on just the leg front.
*twiddles thumbs, not getting the reference*
cell phone providers in the US Hedge!
Oh, I know the Boondock thing. Just not the Verizon/T Mobile thing.
By the way, how did I twiddle my thumbs and still type that? Skills.
2/3rds might not necessarily be her legs Mike, it could be a wig in that picture! Makes you think....
haha ask the dude img. we are boobs to legs....no torso!
and uhh ducati..you got too much free time
A PAIR OF WALKING BOOBS! damn it - if we could design one without a brain it would be the ideal girlfriend! You ladys here on this blog are FAR too inteligent for the good of mankind (he says whilst scurrying over to his hole)
Anonymous: alright, i demand some clarification as your identity then. you know all this about me, and i just know you as anonymous. gay gay gay!
uhhh they love me? since when?
i would fellow Com-RAD! but, then some of my friends wouldn't be able to comment.
and stop being logical ducati..my blog, my rules..no logic allowed when it counters my own inquisitiveness! biatch! hehe
just kidding Ducati...logic it up.
So, we're allowed to just recite song lyrics now? Sweet as..."You say illegal: I say legal’s never been my scene. I try like hell but I’m out of control....All in the name of rock ’n’ roll"
it's early morning..the sun comes out..last night was shaking..and pretty loud..my cat is purring and scratches my skin...so what is wrong..with ANOTHER SIN?!!..the bitch is hungry she needs to tell..so give her inches..and feed her well..more days to come..new places to go...i've got to leave..it's time for a show....(ba DAHHH)
Here I am, rock you like a hurricane
Here I am, rock you like a hurricane
wow that helped me none Derrik haha...if you need computer help, feel free to ask. i'm a giant nerd.
"you say our love is like dyn-aaamite. Open your eyes, 'cause it's like fire and ice! Well, you're killing me; your love's a guillotine: Why don't you just set me free?!
Too young to fall in love!
Too young to fall in love!
"
Go Motley.
following the Crue style:
he's the one they call dr feel good..he's the one who'll make it all right.....
Nikki Sixx could/has beat the fuck out of; screw more women than;write a better song than; be a rockstar better than Chingy.
Nuff said ;)
Ed...dollface...we need to have a chit chat. all hip hop is allowed..BUT CHINGY
we clear?
i refuse to step foot into a kmart or a walmart
sorry!
i don't like walmarts employment practices..and how they go into an area and literally fuck all the other stores out of business..hence i don't shop there. also, no kmarts around...so target target target!
i came into this world as a reject look into these eyes...then you'll see the size of the flames!
excellent point sir ed; however, i counter with---the bastards are making me research chinese law so they may use ge's logo on choice items because otherwise they won't sell at all. and frankly...that's bullshit work i don't want to do! GOSH! hehe. besides, they have a lighting contract with phillips, not GE. rat bastards.
you guys ready for every song featuring lil john?
WHAT?!!! OKAY!!!...YEAAAYEAHH!!
close scene
so not joking..my brother single handedly keeps starbucks in business......i swear!
as i explicated on someones blog..i am a designer whore...and if i drank coffee i'd be a starbucks whore.
labels! I LOVE LABELS!
and "the man" ain't so bad...he paid for all my labels =0)
bens folds five!
....i can't get behind that.....i think that's the song title. i know the artist is right!
henry rollins.....and bill?
Hey nice blog lady...
you're currently sitting in the recently updated list so expect a little random strangeness.
worst part about being female? INAPPROPRIATE BODY HAIR!
second worst? that if you like a man and you show you're interested he runs screaming away and then these same men tell you 'we love it when chicks ask us out...'
but they don't. if they aren't chasing they aren't wanting. Or maybe it's me :)
thanks Sass! agreed on the inappropriate body hair...and how it's so random!
CK: shawing! and, ya know..i almost moved to roanoke in high school...so i'm betting you don't know many jewish girls..let alone jewish girls who blog =0)
yea..i felt great...like when my dad tells me i'm his favorite daughter..even though i'm the only daughter he has!
you aren't dickless in the face of poon...you know what you want and go for it full throttle dawg!as for how to tell if a chick wants your nuttage or not? no clue. it's sad, but generally i can look at a guy and go "yea i'm gonna date him for a while" or, "oh no no no" in the first 10 minutes. i love being so judgemental! but i'm usually right, so hey...
i'd say eye contact, or at least continuous eye contact, lingering around you when there are large groups of people, and making it a point to say your name a few times in the conversation kind of show she likes you.
I think that's Buttah Boobs' code for 'yes yes yes' for you CK ;)
i don't think anyone knows how to tell anymore... these days it always seems that i'm into him who's into her who's into that guy who's into me... or some nutsiness like that.
alternately if she touches you warmly, holds your gaze OR lets hers skitter away, drops in at your hangouts...
hrm...
hard to say, I agree with teresa naomi :)
I just know that i've been chased and chased and chased and chased and then I got interested in return and I was last week's news...
(i thought i replied to this but it disappeared, apologies if i did it twice)
i think it all comes down to the enternal question: "what makes people click"
i mean, there are tons of people in this world, right? but for some reason we seperate them into "i like" "i don't like" "i tolerate" etc..
think that same thing goes into dating. it's how well you click off the bat plus some added extras
but sometimes ... you have a tea or a beer or whatever and they take your number and you could SWEAR they're going to call and then you never hear from them again...
I swear my sense of he's into me isn't that bad, I remember the clicky feel from back when I had dates and these days they're into me they just can't be bothered doing anything about it.
Sometimes you notice them instantly and sometimes they grow on you and sometimes you grow on each other... it's all good. It's just nice to have someone to be smitten about.
md....i'm the office blasting the odds. and yes, the odds are a band.
sass....smitten? i'm not sure i like being smitten, albeit this is kind of a new thing for me...but, it's been a few monthes and it still hasn't completely settled well.
da buttah:
smitten is fun as long as you manage to keep your sanity. It's that all encompassing loss of self/ego that's so freaking annoying whether it's you or him doing it.
It helps if they have a spine, then they stand up to my shit and the sanity meter stays in the relatively normal zone... er normal for ME :)
ducatimike: i'm italian and trust me, the slimy italian 'roman' hands bullshit so DOES NOT do it for me.
As for the not touching, i've noticed that a little when they like you and when they really don't... it's the not answering email that seems a bigger clue that 'he's just not that into you' :)
umm a guy touches me without it being warranted or welcomed...and he's going to get smacked. italian or not.
e-mail replies are a big one! so is the time between calls, whether it be time between him calling, or him calling you back. crucial!
i'm getting okay with the smitten thing, and in no way have i toned down my bitchy side..just have to get used to knowing someone else has some effect on me =0)
da buttah that's the way to do it for sure. my sis tends to lose herself in her men (our mother's example) and i've done it myself... it's very unhealthy and not so fun when your self reasserts. better to be your true self from the beginning... also more fun than playing games.
karmadog I FEEL your pain, everything I thought I knew is wrong. Now I want to know what you do since that's my job too because I teach movement :)
<-- off to read profiles, so much better than WORK!
it's a band i like md!
fine
*shouts* OH BABY. OH BABY. OH BABY. OH.
Sugartits: You coming this weekend?
yea i'm going. guess i'm staying with ethan...want to crash there with me?
Ethan? Brooklyn Ethan, or Eitan Ethan in Soho? and either way you're my bed buddy.
haha RU..i'm the black sheep cause i went to law school and suck at math and science!
MD....maryland? errrm. meet you halfway in the city!
nyc! the only city..GOSH
and yea, dude..i can relate. i even clean up my cats litter wrong.
I'm not reading all 150+ comments because I'm actually working *somewhat* today and I already wasted enough time on my own blog.
Someone please recap the comments in 100 words or less please.
uhh..jabber...
and that's what it's all about.
if you knew my family..you'd capiche moonie
but yea...i'm with you =0)
160+ fucking comments! Jesus Christ you should just start a forum! Well, I guess that's kinda what this is. Nevermind, I had 4 beers for lunch & I'm a bit groggy. Sorry.
the summary is a great idea. every 50 comments a summary. Possibly in the form of a rap by eddie.
Fuck coffee if you don't like don't drink it. since when is it socialy unacceptable to not drink coffee?
i'm supposed to post a titty pic?
md!! wassup?!!
haha oh lord md! =0)
All the good drivers are in Vermont.
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