to fill the space you've made for me, i try to be the way you want-the one you want. to do what's right when everything is wrong. it's easier to lie

i could go on and on about my weekend, and bitch and moan like no other.

but, for once i'll spare you.

no, it's not because it has come to my attention that the creators and bretheren of little ol' me have taken to selectively perusing and gleaning no more than swear words, and tits reading this wee little spot i call mine in the blogosphere.

okay, it does, but in the end my own stubborn and foolish nature usually prevails, and i can usually talk my way out of, or at least counter argue the fury of fuck-all that comes my way one shitstorm-tastic blob at a time.

it's mostly because i really can't place my own thoughts on the entire situation that lounges ever so persistently in the cess pool of my furcated nature, and has recently grown much larger than the kiddie pool space i've alloted it in my agenda.

fucking hell...it takes me two hours to decide on what color eyeshadow i want, and now i need to reconcile the two completely divergent sides of what now appears to be my mere subsistence?

but i'll save that for another time...when i figure out what the fuck my own stance is on things.

i knew i had to jump through hoops, but i had no idea i had to hula hoop the fucking things at the same time.

meh.

anyway....

1. my dad saw the tattoos respectively located on my hand and my wrist, and let me just say thank god we were in a public place with friends of my parents, because i somehow think not even god himself could have saved me from the burning rage and fury in his eyes as he gazed upon my wrist, and then shifted his eyes upon me.

2. unbeknownst to me, an up-and-coming lawyer and accountant must always dress well and look respectable, as well as decent. unbeknownst to me, i sold my soul to the god of unflattering office wear and shirts that hide my tits but make them look twice as big the minute i signed the acceptance letter to each program. who knew? that's some fine print i still haven't found.

3. we'll do this in the most perfunctory way possible: "look at you? you're adorable. now if you lost about fifteen pounds you'd be gorgeous, you could be a model..that's how good you could look."; "are you working out? 'cause you must be doing something wrong because you just aren't losing where you need to."; "do you eat healthy? i want you to eat well and exercise."; "if you aren't losing in those areas, it's fine..it's hard to lose in some areas. tell me, and we'll make an appointment with a plastic surgeon and take care of it."....you get the idea of how my weekend was...

4. i now have an entire arsenal of anti-wrinkle and anti-aging cream because apparently i need to take preventetive steps to stop the aging process, which is an unstoppable process, and a process that i've not really begun seeing as i haven't even officially hit my mid-twenties yet. i look like i'm twelve now, so if this shit actually works when i hit thirty i'll merely look fifteen, and not seventeen like i anticipated. woot!

5. installation of my removable shower head went smoothly, despite the fact i nearly fucking dislocated my own shoulder trying to unscrew the original shower head. kind of irks me that i had to pretty much use the bulk of my body weight to undo the bolt that kept the original shower head on, and i merely had to screw on the new shower head "by hand." thank god i don't have any neighbors, because i anticipate a lot of screaming if and when the new showerhead just casually disconnects on my ass mid shower.

6. what in gods fucking name would possess someone to bring their one and a half year old child to a sushi restaurant, and not bring any form of food for the kid to eat? they brought this entire fucking toys'r'us aisle of toys with them for the little shit to play with, but no food...and then they were completely shocked that this one and a half year old little girl wasn't going ga-ga over japanese food. you ever have baby food? yea, bland as all fucking hell...sushi isn't exactly the epicenter of foods that create an onslaught of sensation for your tastebuds, but c'mon people. grown adults don't like japanese food, and you sit there expecting a one and a half year old child to lap it up with a big old smile? the adult arguably lacks taste and culture, the kid just lacks teeth and a taste for anything that doesn't come pureed in an air-tight can.

7. time warner has taken over adelphia...so aside from obnoxious and horrible ads every other time-slot, nothing seems to work. i'm going to be more than just slightly pissed if the on-demand feature that was free for adelphia is now going to cost me a pretty penny for time warner. if that does seem to be the case, pity the people in customer service that have to deal with me...because after the weekend i've had, and the insane love of movies i have...those bitches are not taking away something i got for free just because they are cocksuckers and decided to merge and acquire.

8. fucking finally! i've been a saigon fan for a long, long time...and finally they play my favorite song by him on entourage, the show that has pretty much launched his career. finally!

9. if you've hung out with me in the past year or so you probably have noticed or made-fun of the fact i usually am wearing black sequined/beaded slippers. i live in the things, and you know what? no one sells them. no one. i have half a mind to fly back to japan, go to the tiny little street market in tokyo, drop another five dollars (in yen), and fly back...just so i can have another pair. that is how awesome they are, that is how comfortable they are, and that is how pissed off i am that now that i would like another pair, every online supplier is completely out of every normal and sane color and carries only hot fucking pink.

10. i did however welcome a new pair of shoes into my loving, gorgeous, and far-too-expensive family:

hello lovers! manolo blahnik, by any other name, would still leave a wet spot wherever i tried them on.