it's lasted from about the time i stepped off the plane and set foot in cleveland after my winter break....to...well, now. it's strange, it's un-nerving, it's seemingly unprecedented....
but...
everytime i take a deep breath, i can feel my heart sink a little more...
and...
everytime i close my eyes i get the same feeling i had when i was about ten years younger and was absolutely miserable with my life.....
it's the feeling that i don't care if my eyes ever open again or not.
not good, i know.
this.....
is what i head off to a tropical paradise with...a sinking heart and an indifference towards my own life and anything going on around me, and an unyeilding disappointment in certain people that i once considered golden.....
this.....
is what i hope will be resolved when i have nothing more to do than lounge in the sun and grant my inner synapses free reign to sort out whatever it is they need to sort out so that i may return with less addled emotions and a much less prosaic outlook on the world before me.
wish me luck.
have a great week.
11 comments:
Resolved? I don't think so. Jamaica is a cold remedy. It isn't going to cure.
And there are golden people out there. Hidden every time.
be well.
hey honey
i hope you have a great time and bake some of those winter blahs out of you. you might not come back fixed but hopefully you'll come back lighter of heart.
have a margarita in the pool for me!
*huggs*
smoke drugs. that makes everything better.
Maybe this little break is just what you need. Sometimes we don't know why we feel the way we feel and we just have to endure it. It can't rain all the time, darling. And if it does rain while in the tropics, get yourself a frozen fruity alcoholic concoction and let the sun do a little work on you while at the pool or beach. We'll be wishing we could join you :)
Have a blast and feel better! {{{huggerz}}}
-N
Drink a gallon or so of "pain-go-bye-bye" juice.
Have a fantabulous time E!!!!!
find some fun. find some peace. find yourself. find a long-dicked jamaican funtoy.
heh
Enjoy your trip!!
XXOO,
JTL
You awful, awful person. Why was I not stolen?!
The last time I felt that bad, I took a trip to the Red River Gorge. The trip didn't solve my depression but a climb that I nearly died on sure did. I was about 50ft in the air when I realized that I couldn't find the bolt that was supposed to be protecting me. The next bolt was another 10ft up and going to it meant risking a ground fall. I went. This was the first time I had ever lead climbed and I was scared out of my mind. I got to the bolt and clipped. So much adrenline was pumping through me that I couldn't stop shaking. Prior to that experience I had thought myself indiffernent to my life. Who cares about silly old life anyway. It turned out that I did. Self preservation kicked me in the ass.... hard!
So go do something incredibly dangerous while your on vacation. Thats my thought.
I hope you had a wonderful vacay! I bet the R&R, sun, gorgeous guys, & scenery brought you peace and happiness! All the best, t
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