yes. over 600.
(and for those of you who really give a shit.....i swallow..so, just get over it...and i only swallow for mr. lozo..with appropriate bodily function foreplay...rawr!)
who knew?
and i did have this awesome post listing the top 20 reasons why i think i suck....but, blogger fuckin ate it.
so..instead, i revamped it and decided to do 20 things that are weird about me, and weird me out in general.
why?
because there's something in the musky nasty air (seriously...it smells like a urinal and microwaved food) of the law building basement that screams "fuckin weird" to me as i sit here an await, mighty mighty patiently, for my 2:45 class to begin.... (and i swear this has nothing to do with the short blonde chick who's legs are about as long as my arms that i keep staring at! i swear!!)
and thus i present to you, ladies and gentleman of the blogosphere:
freaky ass mother' fuckin' shit....a la da butta
1. playing video games for some odd, unknown, absolutely fucked up reason....gets me in the mood to.....get! it! on! and that? that is mighty fuckin weird.
2. i sort my closet in the following order: season for clothing, fabric of the clothing, pants/skirts/long sleeve shirt/t-shirt/tank top, and finally....color. all clothing that is worn for slutty clubbing purposes are in a separate closet and sorted by cleavage factor and color. you may be thinking to yourself.."wow, that's mighty fuckin' OCD of you"..and i would just have to say "you're absolutely fuckin right it is!"
3. i am lactose intolerant......yet....i put milk in my cereal. i have a full fridge of lactaid for my protien shakes..but when it comes to eating the almighty cereal? i use milk. weird?! fuck yea it is!
4. i hate politics. HATE. mostly, i refuse to talk about it; however, i am in love and religiously watch the colbert report this isn't that weird..but, i like to spread the word about how awesome that show is....NEXT!
5. in adjunct to 3: i am allergic to fake vanilla flavoring. makes my stomach kill and i usually end up with my head in a tiolet somewhere along the line.....what did i just buy a 12 pack of? diet cherry vanilla dr. pepper. well..smack my ass and call me a fucktard...but it just tastes so good!
6. watching law students interact is like watching gorilla's in the mist. you think they teach us pompous professionalism? oh no! lawyers are fuckin born with such high and digusting levels of self love (and this is why no one likes me in law school...i could give two shits about myself or how i'm perceived). so as i sit here on the couch, watching none other than Judge Judy (this is a law school afterall...), it's just fuckin odd, weird, and nauseating to see fellow law students interact and exhibit such awesome traits as----dressing, daily, in dress pants and dress shirts for the sole purpose of feeling like a lawyer (uhh you're sitting in a library all day..put a fuckin sweatshirt on).....giving your good friend a handshake when you see him and say hi (uhh?!!), doing the ultra smooth extend to give the handshake, then withdraw the hand as you glide it through your hair (UHHH?!!!), spouting off such wonderful adventures as buying your books (yawn...)....and delving into deep deep DEEP discussions about cases we have read for school that HAVE ALREADY BEEN DECIDED, and stating why you think the outcome blows/should be different----no! such pompous attributes aren't taught....they are second nature to the dickheads i call my legal peers..and it's so fuckin weird that about 95% of my school, and every law school, is like that. WHAT THE FUCK?!!
7. so, it kind of begs the question: how fuckin weird am i for being in law school with these heinous and nauseating individuals?!!
8. it weirds me out to no end when i'm driving in my car, doing my singing/dancing/shifting thang, and i look over to the car next to me at a red light and they are just staring at me. not a casual look over out of sheer waititng for the light to turn green..no..staring.....straight....at.....me. gah! scary!
9. i never thought this was that weird, until someone told me it was. i have table settings for my dog and cat. yup. a specific table for my dog's food and water bowls...and a specific little table for my cats food and water bowls. to me? that's just practical...to most people, apparently that is fucked up in the head.
10. i am a neat freak. i don't have any garbage cans. odd! odd! odd! (and before you get all grossed out, i just put it in a plastic bag, and take it out when i take sofie out for the night...keeps the place cleaner)
11. i am on birth control. birth control contains hormones that your body becomes co-dependent on (for those of you who have ever gone off it, or get these fun fun hormone headaches during green pill time can vouch for this dependence). i refuse...REFUSE to take anthing when i have a migraine because i don't want to become dependent on them to get rid of my migrains. how's that for some bastardized logic?!!
12. people who use umbrella's when it's snowing outside. that's just weird...and you're a douchebag.
13. for those who know anything about scientific shit: my blood type is o-neg. apparently my mom is ab+ and my dad is ab-...and my brother is ab+.......and if you know anything about genetics..somethin ain't adding up. WEIRD!
14. people who continually repeat themselves. seriously, this weirds me out more than annoys me. i understand those people who repeat themselves because they think they weren't heard the first time(s), but those people who everytime you're around them spout off the same shit? freaky shit man. freakkkkkkkkky!
15. people who look into my eyes freak me out to the point of just wanting to scream and run away...
16. speaking of my eyes..one eye is arguably more hazel than the other. yup. my left eye is more brownish than green, and my right eye is more greenish than brown.....thank you to fellow e for pointing that out to me..just what i need..another weird ass thing about me.
17. not sure how weird this is...but...i'm ambidexturous, and aside from writing, i can do anything with my right or left hand and do that thing equally well. comes in super handy for bartending because it doesn't matter which side i pour/swirl/shake with.....makes life a little hard when playing air hockey.
18. i own five different kinds of body wash and all of them are in my shower......the only one i've ever used for the past 3 years has been st ives "fresh h20" body wash.....go figure?
19. i don't really like cats. i have a cat. you can figure that one out.
20. one insanely fucked up thing about me is that i'd rather give up on myself than the people around me...and i frequently do just that.
1. playing video games for some odd, unknown, absolutely fucked up reason....gets me in the mood to.....get! it! on! and that? that is mighty fuckin weird.
2. i sort my closet in the following order: season for clothing, fabric of the clothing, pants/skirts/long sleeve shirt/t-shirt/tank top, and finally....color. all clothing that is worn for slutty clubbing purposes are in a separate closet and sorted by cleavage factor and color. you may be thinking to yourself.."wow, that's mighty fuckin' OCD of you"..and i would just have to say "you're absolutely fuckin right it is!"
3. i am lactose intolerant......yet....i put milk in my cereal. i have a full fridge of lactaid for my protien shakes..but when it comes to eating the almighty cereal? i use milk. weird?! fuck yea it is!
4. i hate politics. HATE. mostly, i refuse to talk about it; however, i am in love and religiously watch the colbert report this isn't that weird..but, i like to spread the word about how awesome that show is....NEXT!
5. in adjunct to 3: i am allergic to fake vanilla flavoring. makes my stomach kill and i usually end up with my head in a tiolet somewhere along the line.....what did i just buy a 12 pack of? diet cherry vanilla dr. pepper. well..smack my ass and call me a fucktard...but it just tastes so good!
6. watching law students interact is like watching gorilla's in the mist. you think they teach us pompous professionalism? oh no! lawyers are fuckin born with such high and digusting levels of self love (and this is why no one likes me in law school...i could give two shits about myself or how i'm perceived). so as i sit here on the couch, watching none other than Judge Judy (this is a law school afterall...), it's just fuckin odd, weird, and nauseating to see fellow law students interact and exhibit such awesome traits as----dressing, daily, in dress pants and dress shirts for the sole purpose of feeling like a lawyer (uhh you're sitting in a library all day..put a fuckin sweatshirt on).....giving your good friend a handshake when you see him and say hi (uhh?!!), doing the ultra smooth extend to give the handshake, then withdraw the hand as you glide it through your hair (UHHH?!!!), spouting off such wonderful adventures as buying your books (yawn...)....and delving into deep deep DEEP discussions about cases we have read for school that HAVE ALREADY BEEN DECIDED, and stating why you think the outcome blows/should be different----no! such pompous attributes aren't taught....they are second nature to the dickheads i call my legal peers..and it's so fuckin weird that about 95% of my school, and every law school, is like that. WHAT THE FUCK?!!
7. so, it kind of begs the question: how fuckin weird am i for being in law school with these heinous and nauseating individuals?!!
8. it weirds me out to no end when i'm driving in my car, doing my singing/dancing/shifting thang, and i look over to the car next to me at a red light and they are just staring at me. not a casual look over out of sheer waititng for the light to turn green..no..staring.....straight....at.....me. gah! scary!
9. i never thought this was that weird, until someone told me it was. i have table settings for my dog and cat. yup. a specific table for my dog's food and water bowls...and a specific little table for my cats food and water bowls. to me? that's just practical...to most people, apparently that is fucked up in the head.
10. i am a neat freak. i don't have any garbage cans. odd! odd! odd! (and before you get all grossed out, i just put it in a plastic bag, and take it out when i take sofie out for the night...keeps the place cleaner)
11. i am on birth control. birth control contains hormones that your body becomes co-dependent on (for those of you who have ever gone off it, or get these fun fun hormone headaches during green pill time can vouch for this dependence). i refuse...REFUSE to take anthing when i have a migraine because i don't want to become dependent on them to get rid of my migrains. how's that for some bastardized logic?!!
12. people who use umbrella's when it's snowing outside. that's just weird...and you're a douchebag.
13. for those who know anything about scientific shit: my blood type is o-neg. apparently my mom is ab+ and my dad is ab-...and my brother is ab+.......and if you know anything about genetics..somethin ain't adding up. WEIRD!
14. people who continually repeat themselves. seriously, this weirds me out more than annoys me. i understand those people who repeat themselves because they think they weren't heard the first time(s), but those people who everytime you're around them spout off the same shit? freaky shit man. freakkkkkkkkky!
15. people who look into my eyes freak me out to the point of just wanting to scream and run away...
16. speaking of my eyes..one eye is arguably more hazel than the other. yup. my left eye is more brownish than green, and my right eye is more greenish than brown.....thank you to fellow e for pointing that out to me..just what i need..another weird ass thing about me.
17. not sure how weird this is...but...i'm ambidexturous, and aside from writing, i can do anything with my right or left hand and do that thing equally well. comes in super handy for bartending because it doesn't matter which side i pour/swirl/shake with.....makes life a little hard when playing air hockey.
18. i own five different kinds of body wash and all of them are in my shower......the only one i've ever used for the past 3 years has been st ives "fresh h20" body wash.....go figure?
19. i don't really like cats. i have a cat. you can figure that one out.
20. one insanely fucked up thing about me is that i'd rather give up on myself than the people around me...and i frequently do just that.
23 comments:
Dear The Butter, it's scary how similar we are in many of those points. The video game thing... I don't know why either, I thought I was the only one. And I don't play all that often but when I do all I want to do is play with my joystick (was that one too easy to take? probably)
But I am sitting here at work surrounded by about 150 people on an open floor and I had to throw my head under my desk and put my hand over my mouth when I read about the table settings for the dog and cat. Do you really have little tables set up? I wanted to call you just to say how much that made my day but then I remembered that I deleted the digits. ;)
Smile. Least I gazed longily into those baby brownsih-greenish fucked up thingies, and whispered sweet nothings like "I'm going to work you like straight mothah fuckin welfare" as we played video games all night long.
BUT. Now that I know they make you all randy and shit, we'll have to desist playing...Seeing as I'm irresitible and all.
Seriously. Gaming makes you want to get laid?! How did you contain yourself while drunk, playing ssx-on tour with Jake and I? =0)
Dear Eaziest of E's: no shit? you're so lying about the videogaming thing. And it's not like a table setting like for people. One's a metal dish holder--that's the cats..so it holds her water and food dish, and that's on the counter. and then the dog's is the same princple..but it's wooden and looks a bit more like a table....it's cute! goddamnit. and it keeps things clean and neat..and it's healthier for them to eat straight on than to kneel down like they would have to if their dishes were on the floor/counter. glad you got a snicker. and yea..way to delete my digits..I AM SO HURT!
Other fucker E--dude, you had the gall to type that smut while i'm on the phone with you and while you're begging me to go to a fuckin wedding with you?!! whatever bitch. find a different date!
WHOA, LIST....
Agree on #20 though.... weird one isn't it? But so true hun, holla!
i hear you on # 12......fuckin dorks
dude number fourteen... uh fucktard i made the mistake of listening the FIRST three times i heard that fucking boring story.
worse? the one who if you interrupt starts over again... AT THE BEGINNING and when you eventually notice you've heard the whole story? makes you sit through it again anyway.
... okay now tell my why it's unhealthy to eat off the floor? i so don't have room for a little cat table thingy....
i asked my vet about it, randomly one day, because he always asks me what i feed my pets...and he basically said that it's easier on them to digest if they aren't bending over as far to chew it, because most pets don't un-bend to swallow....i have no idea. primarily i have them so food dishes are static, and water/food doesn't get on the floor
this one for the dog
this one for the cat
i never thought it was that weird!! seriously looks cute though...
you look sad in yer profile pic. go back to the middle finger one. or better yet, use the devil horns pic!
thanks elle, i'll check it out :)
It really wasn't a snicker, I was going to bust... I imagine that dinnertime around at the Elle house must be quite the gala event. But you're right, it's funny cute.
And if you could have seen me dryhumping my bed while I played old school Kung Fu, Super Dodge Ball, Ring King, Double Dribble & Rush N Attack last night, maybe you would believe me. It just comes so naturally.
OMG....love the setting for the pets. And the weird stuff about us makes us who we are.... rock on. I am weird and proud of it :)
-N
murph. blow me.
E--see, it's not weird. and hey, you should see me after i sit at home playing my new video game. jesus christ hornball.
Sass--no prob :) they are seriously cute haha
Shane---devil horn one eh? maybe....
Nat: true..weird shit makes us...us...but ummmmmm, some shit i do is just like "holy fuck" and out of that cute quirky weird :)
Bizzleteen. You're going to that goddamn wedding with me, even if I have to fly to mother fuckin Cleveland *gag*, to get you.
I didn't make your eyes all fucked up. And, I'll let you play a little with my joystick ;0)
fuck you e. i'm no going. a-i can't afford to fly to fuckin st. barts. b-i can't take time of school...c-you suck donkey dick.
and your joystick is tiny.
I am one of those people that you describe in #14. The thing is that I can remember conversations, but not who I had them with, so I repeat myself a lot.
I am one of those people that you describe in #14. The thing is that I can remember conversations, but not who I had them with, so I repeat myself a lot.
Which video game is uh... stimulating you? Just any game? Is it the vibrating controller?
I MUST KNOW
any game that involves competition.....ex: kingdom hearts--no real tingle; metal gear solid: take me now
nothing to do with vibrating controller!
my wife is in love with Kingdom Hearts and hates every other game, it doesn't turn her on either :(
Metal Gear?! You like Metal Gear?! I play the shit out of Snake Eater all the damn time! That series is by far my favorite series of all time.
I started an old school game blog with a couple of my friends, it mostly is about anything pre-N64 which means you can play them on your PC through an emulator.
Sorry you just got me going with that 'games turn me on' thing. I have been on a video game barrage lately to get it all out of my system before July when our baby arrives.
go check out www.oldschoolgameguys.com if you wanted to get some idea of the classics you can play on your PC and if you have questions about what you need to do to get them running let me know :)
ohhhhhhh bad jabberstud..BAD!!!
i have enough issues with the video games i have.....and not studying!
bah where is all that law mumbo jumbo going to get you anyway?
FLIMSHAW I SAY
I also sort my closet in the very same scary OCD way. Shoes? Still in their box, with a label, and catergorized by style and season. (BTW I over 100 pairs of shoes.)
party girl: damm... are we the same size? can i shop in your closet?
elle: i might have to get one of those cat plate thingies... so there :)
you want tits..then you don't want tits....FICKLE MURPH!!
Partygirl: i do the same thing with my shoes..but...i only have 56 pairs. damnit, now i have goals though..so thank you :)
Sass...cute aren't they?!!
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