to just wake up one morning, and not feel anything for someone that you cared very much for just that night before?
or is it a dellusion?
is it a self-protectionist mechanism that fools you into thinking that you never gave a shit to begin with...just as a precaution to anything perchance "bad" happening?
i've gotten over people before. many many times in my life i've had to just accept reality for what it was, and force myself to stop caring for someone....
but they still re-occur. something--a smell, a song, some habit you picked up--something, inevitably, will remind you of them...
and of how much you used to care about them...
and of how much it hurt when it you had to stop...
and of how empty the place they used to fill is....
so i have to wonder...is how i feel real? or is it me playing tricks on me?
________________________
in other news, my insanely good friend of almost 20 years is about a hop-skip-and-a-jump from me just flying to boston to kick his fucking ass. (in his defense, i chose the worst picture i could of him, and has to cut out the other people..so he looks pretty whack....)
so, yes ryan....i'm pissed at you and the dramatic flair your girlfriend has gifted you with since the inception of your relationship with her, and your denouncement of friendship with me (and everyone else it seems). if some pussy from a veritable cunt that NO ONE LIKES, not even your goddamn daughter, is all it takes to make you turn your back on people who have been there for you your entire goddamn life, have fun.
oh, and one more thing--the blonde hair looks homosexual..god blessed you with black hair for a reason..and the ceaser haricut is horrible..go back to spiking it. stop fake baking, you look leathery and old! oh! and close your mouth....unless your planning to suck your girlfriends dick...because, you obviously lost yours when you started dating her....
so, yes ryan....i'm pissed at you and the dramatic flair your girlfriend has gifted you with since the inception of your relationship with her, and your denouncement of friendship with me (and everyone else it seems). if some pussy from a veritable cunt that NO ONE LIKES, not even your goddamn daughter, is all it takes to make you turn your back on people who have been there for you your entire goddamn life, have fun.
oh, and one more thing--the blonde hair looks homosexual..god blessed you with black hair for a reason..and the ceaser haricut is horrible..go back to spiking it. stop fake baking, you look leathery and old! oh! and close your mouth....unless your planning to suck your girlfriends dick...because, you obviously lost yours when you started dating her....
27 comments:
oh God that was the best post EVER.
in other news. i relate so much to the first peice its sad.
it was so sudden!
between me leaving august 6th and me seeing him the day after thanksgiving....THAT is what he turned into...
he used to be so cute! so punk! so "edgy"...now he looks like he's straight outta west hollywood. in his defense, the sunglasses were a joke...he hasn't stooped that low.....
yet....
it's that cunt of a girlfriend!!
I've seen similar things happen among some of my friends, and it's always so bewildering. how good does a piece of ass have to be to totally change you?
I mean, like when Uncle Fester hooked up with Debbie ... and then he ... he .. *bursts into tears*
I might just be talking out of my ass, but I think that real eelings cannot just be turned off that easily. I think we can rationally will ourselves to try not to feel but if what we felt was truly real, then it is not gone just like that. I think sometimes we go numb as a way to protect ourselves, brace and steel ourselves for the pain, especially if we have been there before emotionally. And I think that if someone really mattered to you enough, they always kinda stay with you. This doesn't take away from your love for a new person...it just means that the people in your past have become part of your history and who you are today. And yes, loads of times smells, songs or words will bring up memories and such. I think that's not only normal but healthy. Being in touch with your past, without dweling on it, helps you learn.
Damn, someone push me off the fucking soapbox!
:)
-N
Oh..and my verbose self forgot...I hate it when people change for someone else's benefit. Sure, if you want to change or you are trying something new...no problem...even though I might still tell you your choices suck. But, to let yourself be molded to someone else's idea of what is good...dude..grow some balls and be yourself.
-N
HAH!
Oh god. That's awesome.
Fuckhead won't listen, though. So now it's time for him to say Buh-bye! to all his company. F-U-C See you real soon. K-Y-O Why? Because you claim to love her! U-R-Y-A-N! Fuck you Ry! Fuck you Ry!
Paris is gonna shit if he see's you cut him out of the piccy, babe. FYI.
and I got the text about the thing with the doo-diddle. SO ON IT! :)
Buttah - I feel it's entirely possible to wake up and feel differently about somebody. It's the reason for supressing and/or changing of feelings that's the key.
It's an emotional survival instinct I think, that allows us to perservere... connecting with why we feel this way is the key to understanding why we've surpressed.
Is it anger?
Disappointment?
Frustration?
Just damn tired of being dicked around and finally decided to give it up due to the lack of emotional perk?
yeah. i've felt that. it wounds -kinda-.
Leaves you a bit empty for a while of course. Fucking dickheads.
And those songs that remind you of that person kick your ass everytime. I find myself saying "skip the song" or "think of something else"... sometimes it works.
Other times I just dodge traffic afterwards when I've had to listen to it.
Ryan, I am disappointed in you. No piece of pussy is worth alienating friendships and putting your daughter through some ackward I-really-dont-wanna-get-to-know-you-phase.
But, well... yeah she's right buddy... the fashion change just aint working for ya.
eh.
looks like i'm going to die single.
yayyyyyyyyy
least i have dog
i'm not stuck with him
i'm stuck with no one....the beauty of freedom. i just don't care if he's around anymore...and that's a bit odd, no?
yea..and ry looks like a huge fag. HUGE. it's just....it's disheartening..knowing the hotness he was..and the homo he is now
he fried it and ceaser-ed it.
uch. he does more to his hair than we do man.
eh. i guess. was expecting more of a fade than a "bye" one day.
E told me about this, you hussy. Where was my insight into the Ry-Beatings?
Not like they've ever stopped since July, but still!
Pops--check your text messages homeboy. DUH.
Dude--yea, i'm with you. black spikey hair is way more his style...and he needs to ditch the tan! moving on....but to what?!!
i am!!!
we gotta plan that shit yo!
i got no car, so it's all up to you nukka.
just gotta tell my parents and shiz..you know?
well..i leave the 29th...so yea...
iono choose the LA day..and i'll let maybe have someone meet us at the bar..seeing as i said i may meet him
naw.
not really haha whatever is fine with me
yea! okay! whatever will...go back to fighting with lynea on the boards :)
i saw her on saturday...she and mike were all over each other
*vomit*
ohio drama=married woman divorces husband, but decides to bang someone else before!
drama!!! in the most hick way possible
hahahaha will! nascar!! soo sad..yet sooo true.
yea. she looked at me like i was the plague....
then again no one recognized me with the darker hair
too cold for the cars to actually perform well though...heat=lower hp and mroe gas.
dude. ohio is a wonderous mystery of hick shit.
after a year and a half i'm still going "oh my god..no way....no...no...are you serious? you guys do that here? dear christ!"
Will: i went with trey..'cause i haven't seen him in two weeks and i love that boy...so he asked me to go....failed to inform me who else would be there. i guess i look that much different with black hair?
are you done with me then??!!
Dude: it's amusing here! i can't deny it. seriously, come visit and indulge in the wonders!
we aren't freaks here dude!
no. shopping at hot topic does not a goth make. it was that damn purple orset of hers. she lost a lot of weight though, she looks good....i guess fucking everyone but your hubby is good for the ol' weight?
and let me know about the cookies :) i got nothing to do all week!
they'll probably wonder why you aren't twirling your hair and saying like all the time, dude
yea. i made a shit ton of cookies, but he withdrew from my offer!
he hasn't tried the magical peanut butter cup cookies man! no one can resist those bitches.
hey. i think gregg makes up for the smart people out here.
i mean..who asks if they did something wrong, and supplements it with "well, you're being a bitch and rubbing me the wrong way"?
honestly!!
GOD! okay. i'm okay. i will not drive and kill him
will not....
least not now. my jeans are in the dryer.
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