seeing as this is what i do before bed now....ponder the future posts of my blog.......
in any event, i realized i can't do the one i had planned for today. why? simple. tomorrow i get my hair highlighted, and what kind of blogger would i be if i didn't show the entire blog world the outcome of figuring out how to keep the intrinsically dark nature of my new hair color yet lighten it up a bit and make it a bit more.....playful.
so that post is on hold until sunday night...stay tuned.
which kind of leads me to this point: what the fuck do i blog about tonight?
and then it dawned on me in my caffinated so-sleep-deprived-i-have-hallucinations-and-day-dream-about-sleeping state....i should blog about things i just don't fucking understand. thus! i present to you:
Things That Are Beyond any Comprehensible Sense to Elle:
1. how it was 68 out two days ago, and now it's 10 and snowing....
2. my lone dimple. seriously, i hate it. i'd be a little bit more okay with having two...but just having one? fucked up!
3. how people i've known for the better part of my DD-cup life are still facinated/enthralled/obsessed with my tits...
4. people who honestly enjoy and like anchovies.
5. scented candles. some are okay, most are just disgusting. if you can't hold back a cough after you take a wiff of the fucking thing, something is wrong.
6. how it's possible for a single song to alter your entire mood for the rest of the day....
7. people who are so lackluster that they won't even expand their horizens enough to try new food. the worst that'll happen is you spit it out. the absolute worst is you puke. seems petty in the face of finding something new to love....
8. sequins. seriously....i went shopping for sweaters last week, and i found four....count 'em FOUR fucking sweaters that didn't have an amass of sequins on them. are girls that in need of attention that their shirts need to alter the balance of my retina when i look at them? seriously.....'tis not the season to blind everybody that looks at you.
9. how people who were born and raised in cleveland, can't drive in snow until at least the third day of accumuation....
10. men who want to be gynocologists. seriously. what the fuck was that thought process like?
11. how people throw everything away for a single moment of instant gratification....
12. how people can knowingly hurt someone they love, and still be okay with themselves in the aftermath.....
13. people who are underwhelmed by the essence of love
14. anyone who is artistic. i'm so envious...i can't draw, i can't paint, i can't sculpt. anyone who can do those things...i don't get the ability, but i'm so in awe of that ability it's sickening.
15. people who exepct too much from others/themselves and people who don't expect enough from others/themselves.
17. how breath takingly gorgeous this world is......
18. how people can, knowing all of their faults and flaws, truly love and accept themselves.
19. spinners. seriously. how does spinning metal attached to your tire make you thug? how does having spinning metal attached to your tire that costs more than your actual car make you a pimp?!! how? how? how?
20. how ugly people really can be.....
21. religious zealots. 'nuff said. shove it up your ass and preach elsewhere...
22. how night after night my cat still insists on sleeping on my chest, even though night after night i roll over on my side and pretty much launch her off the bed. either she loves me dearly and just wants to be so close to my heart......or she's a fucking retard of a kitty......either way, don't get it.
23. my hands. no matter how tan i am, no matter how much time i spend in the sun....my hands are always lighter than the rest of my body. what the fuck?!
24: how abso-fucking-lutely amazing the first bite of key lime cheesecake tastes.......
25. oprah. she sucks. move on!
26. my father. he's so oblivious to things that everytime i dye my hair and he finds out he has some mild shit fit over it as if the color i changed it from was actually my natural color. he's so oblivious to things that it took two years for him to realize i had a tattoo on my ankle....and everytime he see's the tattoo across my lower back, he acts like it's the first time......said obliviousness is just.....WOW.
27. how people can like me......
28. botox. what would inspire someone to inject poison into their body for the sole purpose of losing any form of expression in their face.....oh, and getting rid of those damn wrinkles that show people you have any form of a soul?
29. how anyone can find tom cruise attractive. never did, never will.
30. how when i'm pmsing i am a bottomless pit and even though i eat to the point of feeling like i'm going to literally spew everywhere, twn minutes later got another craving....
2. my lone dimple. seriously, i hate it. i'd be a little bit more okay with having two...but just having one? fucked up!
3. how people i've known for the better part of my DD-cup life are still facinated/enthralled/obsessed with my tits...
4. people who honestly enjoy and like anchovies.
5. scented candles. some are okay, most are just disgusting. if you can't hold back a cough after you take a wiff of the fucking thing, something is wrong.
6. how it's possible for a single song to alter your entire mood for the rest of the day....
7. people who are so lackluster that they won't even expand their horizens enough to try new food. the worst that'll happen is you spit it out. the absolute worst is you puke. seems petty in the face of finding something new to love....
8. sequins. seriously....i went shopping for sweaters last week, and i found four....count 'em FOUR fucking sweaters that didn't have an amass of sequins on them. are girls that in need of attention that their shirts need to alter the balance of my retina when i look at them? seriously.....'tis not the season to blind everybody that looks at you.
9. how people who were born and raised in cleveland, can't drive in snow until at least the third day of accumuation....
10. men who want to be gynocologists. seriously. what the fuck was that thought process like?
11. how people throw everything away for a single moment of instant gratification....
12. how people can knowingly hurt someone they love, and still be okay with themselves in the aftermath.....
13. people who are underwhelmed by the essence of love
14. anyone who is artistic. i'm so envious...i can't draw, i can't paint, i can't sculpt. anyone who can do those things...i don't get the ability, but i'm so in awe of that ability it's sickening.
15. people who exepct too much from others/themselves and people who don't expect enough from others/themselves.
17. how breath takingly gorgeous this world is......
18. how people can, knowing all of their faults and flaws, truly love and accept themselves.
19. spinners. seriously. how does spinning metal attached to your tire make you thug? how does having spinning metal attached to your tire that costs more than your actual car make you a pimp?!! how? how? how?
20. how ugly people really can be.....
21. religious zealots. 'nuff said. shove it up your ass and preach elsewhere...
22. how night after night my cat still insists on sleeping on my chest, even though night after night i roll over on my side and pretty much launch her off the bed. either she loves me dearly and just wants to be so close to my heart......or she's a fucking retard of a kitty......either way, don't get it.
23. my hands. no matter how tan i am, no matter how much time i spend in the sun....my hands are always lighter than the rest of my body. what the fuck?!
24: how abso-fucking-lutely amazing the first bite of key lime cheesecake tastes.......
25. oprah. she sucks. move on!
26. my father. he's so oblivious to things that everytime i dye my hair and he finds out he has some mild shit fit over it as if the color i changed it from was actually my natural color. he's so oblivious to things that it took two years for him to realize i had a tattoo on my ankle....and everytime he see's the tattoo across my lower back, he acts like it's the first time......said obliviousness is just.....WOW.
27. how people can like me......
28. botox. what would inspire someone to inject poison into their body for the sole purpose of losing any form of expression in their face.....oh, and getting rid of those damn wrinkles that show people you have any form of a soul?
29. how anyone can find tom cruise attractive. never did, never will.
30. how when i'm pmsing i am a bottomless pit and even though i eat to the point of feeling like i'm going to literally spew everywhere, twn minutes later got another craving....
19 comments:
guess who's drunk? com on guess
27 - i wonder that every day about myself
29 - fucking word
30 - YES ME TOO!!!
also, this list makes me *heart* you even more elle.
some nice points/queries/insights.
If I may:
2. One dimple better than none?
3. I haven't known you but for months and I can honestly say I will be entranced by yer tits forever.
8. But rhinestones rock
10. The old joke: Sorry honey, but if I see ONE more of those today, I will scream!
11. those fukcers
14. I'm semi-artisitic. I have the drive but not the talent. THAT sucks.
19. No shit!
23: I have the answer but the government won't let me share it.
25. Yes!!!!
28. EXACTLY!! What next?
30. Umm ... better women than men? LOL
no!!!
i want NO DIMPLES! it's so retarded..i smile and on one side..dimple..on the other..nada. yarg! drives me fuckin crazy....and uhh D...you typo-ed!!! *does the Mr. Editor fucked up and mistype dance*
awwww thank you sass :) i don't need no stinkin lists to *heart* you!
and I typo'd "fuckers" too ... was trying to do too much!
I KNEW I should have read over it before posting! Curse my hubris! (not your hubris, sass LOL)
it's okay D...seriously...look how many typo's i have in my goddamn post!
Pearl: haha, tell shane to change the pic. and my one dimpled self sends hugs right back :)
I laughed my ass off at this post. Launching your kitty was hilarious.
I agree that one dimple is better than none.
I think your hair color rocks! I love dark hair and secretly think of changing mine someday to dark brown.
You crack my shit up, elle!
i'm used to it too pearl.
i just sometimes sit there and wonder though..i mean....boys that have known me since i as 6.....still drool over the giant blobs of fat on my chest...and it's a bit odd!
Is this dimple malformed? Maybe you'll outgrow it....lol
think so Pops? 'cause i'm 23....and it's still there haha
i found that if you just stop giving a shit..and just let them stare and grab etc.....they kinda lose their appeal after about a half hour for that night :)
thanks murph. i fondled them for you today in the shower
and i love neil, actually. my dad had like four of his records..listened to them ALL the time as a kid.
i demand swaying....but as a concession i'll wear a really revealing top
which tat?
no ankle?
so which one? lower back? lower abs? hip?
pick one ass
lol
feel the love in the room
no.
any other stupid demands i can say no to?
*gags*
warn me before you do that sugar!
All very good points!!!
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