!!HAPPY belated HALLOWEEN!! (and yes, i went to class with the ears)
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addendum: to those of you who read this post before completion..sorry, but hey...since when was i not a verbose fuckin bitch? when have i not had something to express extreme amounts of verbage dripping with disdain over?
today's anecdotal tendencies stem from something that has long bothered me: i am that girl.
what do i mean by that girl? i mean the girl who, though kind of anti-relationship, strives for them. to me it seems pointless to put all this effort into getting to know someone just for......well?....nothing. it seems like a waste of precious fervor and a one way ticket to being acrimonious......the former, in my case, is fleeting, and the latter..well....you folks read my blog, i don't need more help being rancorous....
in any event...i am the girl who, without question, will factor someone into my daily routine and short-term plans.....who will bake copious amounts of cookies just because a guy likes them....who will buy something simply because it reminded me of him..who will go out of her way to accomodate the most banal of requests from a guy....blah blah blah blah blah blah...the one that really pisses me off? i'm the girl who, no matter how pissed i am at the asshole for some bullshit stunt he pulled...will still continue to do all the aforementioned crap without hesitation or blinking an eye......
keep it on the downlow...like serious, this is between me....and you..but uhhh.....i'm "sweet"...and "kind"....
it used to exacerbate me to no end when people would expound upon these qualities i seemingly hide so well from the people who have never seen me in a relationship type setting, or who just don't know me very well. prime example: my friend avi, one day, pulled me aside in a bar, grabbed my hands in his, looked me square into the eyes and said "you're going to make some man extremely happy someday. you're going to be a great wife, and a great mother"......
.....i think i blinked about 40 times before i could muster up a thank you....
why? because i've always been that girl who, even in the face of the most derisive of circumstances, will smile, put my best face forward and carry on...mostly out of sheer respect for the asshole i'm attached to at the time and because i'd rather deal with my own..,for lack of a better word, shit..than unload on a guy and cause an inconvenience....
i go with the flow....
i give all of myself....
i get fucked over...
lather....
rinse....
repeat....
and up until about two hours ago, i hated that about myself.....but, as i was sitting on the couch watching monday night football, texting a friend-of-sorts, and sitting next to a rerun-of-sorts, and placing moo-cow into strange sexual positions.....it kind of struck me that this dichotomy of who i am, and who i want to be.... really wasn't that big of a dichotomy....and that the hope of change was a waste of time.
i'm dulcet..but not cloying....and for the first time ever....i appreciate it.
31 comments:
where's the picture of the gold digging whore?
You look cute with ears...
MY FRIEND.YOU ARE MOTHER FUCKER.YOU ARE MADAR CHOD.YOU ARE SON OF BITCH.YOU ARE KUTTAR BATCHA.YOU ARE WHORE.YOU ARE KHANKI MAGI.YOU ARE
okay anonymous is getting ridiculous
like beyond ridiculous even
also... damm elle not only are you hot you're adorable too!
wow... major change to the post in the interim!
i think that striving to be kind is the greatest gift you can give to the girl you see in the mirror every day. It keeps you proud of who you are.
that said, you still have to keep *you* when you're in a relationship, you can't just give all of yourself to a man. you still have to pursue your own life and your own hobbies... i'm not saying never see the guy, just not to lose yourself in him.
it's hard when your *self* reasserts to make things work... it's better to try to not lose it in the first place. better but sooooooo hard.
*huggs* girl... stay nice, you'll like yourself better but do give yourself permission to protect yourself too.
Buttah boobs, I agree. 'That girl' is just fine. So, love arse rapes us whenever it comes around. I wouldn't have it any other way, though.
I like you in ears ... and I like the girl that I've come to know in this blog over the past several months ... fuck them other fucks. you be you and good things will happen ... eventually.
not that I can confirm this from personal experience tho ... my love live pretty much sucks fromunda cheese ... LOL
awww i love you guys! :) though i've never done the love thing, and i've never been arse-raped by said love....i guess it's better to know you tried in the end than to know you held anything back? fuck it. i just woke up.....i'll be profound later!
and moo-cow has udders murph, and a FUCKED up face....fun to make it hump people....and uhh dude, I LOVE FOOTBALL!
Do the love thing, boobs. Let go.
hmmm...
i always assumed love was not a conscious choice.....more so something that "just happened"
holy legs!
i like zee legs!
everyone in my class looked at me like a fuckin weirdo! it's halloween you butt-sauces! live a little!
heh i got that pic of you and me in your shades lookin all pimp by the nizzy sign on my desk...god we make shades look HOTTT (and yes, that is the 3 "t" seal of orgasmicness)
maui's crappin out? if they are scratched or what not you can send 'em back and shiz
dude i'm so down! that place in fashion island had a bomb ass selection...and i could use some cali-fication. i'm all east coast again (damn you E! damn you!)
NO DOGS!!!
oooo! they have the cute kiosks too!
lululemon?!! what the shit is that?!!
damn....does that mean i'll have to start working out again?!!
lululemon is canadian actually... watch the zippers they're not as nice as the clothes...
you'll die for the pretty colours ...
personally i boycott but that's because they have XXXS and nothing bigger than a 14. I resented being too fat to wear pretty clothes while doing yoga so i shop the danskin instead cause they make stuff for all sizes...
but still, buy canadian! *chuckling*
phew.
cause like....i'm loving this whole not working out thing :)
i haven't gained a pound....
granted i don't eat...i smoke, and i drink....
but it works!
nice try murph...i'm an oral hygene nazi.....brush 3 times a day, floss 2 a day, and listerine all the goddamn time.
blondie: it's true, their stuff is gorgeous... i cannot deny that
and buttah will love it!
yea..if my fat ass fits in the stuff Sass
Glad you had a nice time with mom and dad! And I love the ears!!
Oh, I will be giving you an FOP card next time I see you!
So you don't unload on a guy FOR the sake of convenience?
I wish many more thought as you do.... hell yeah
MY FRIEND.SERIOUSLY,I AM READY TO FUCK YUO.SUCK YOU.EAT YOU.
dear anonymous:
don't make me get rid of the "non blogger" comment function. stop being a dumbass.
thanks!
kisses!
-E
I think that 'anonymous' must be a foreigner (maybe the drummer?), 'cause homeboy's writing skills suck assgina. Either a foreigner, or a mildly-retarded grammatically-impaired baboon...which would actually be kinda cool...
MY FRIEND.COME-ON.IT IS JUST FUN.I LIKE YOU.THAT IS ALL.BUT FUCK IS STILL A BETTER WORD TO KNOCK YOU.DON'T YOU LOVE TO BE FUCKED.
Hi girly! Just making a comeback maybe to the blog life. :) I am going to be in Columbus (2 hrs from you) this month. Glad to see you are still blogging.
when are you going to up an EMF music video?
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