take a step back from the world, look around, and realize:
"i'm an asshole".
yes, that's right. just admit it to yourself. you'd be in good company, i promise...most people are assholes, and if you have a dick you're odds of being a complete jackass goes up 2 fold. this is a huge generalization, and i realize it (jersey is a prime example of a good guy)...but, this whole laboring under the false pretense that you are a nice guy is just...it's false advertising and in all honesty you're only fooling yourself.
so what brings on this begging of self realization? the date i went on saturday night.
what.....
a.....
dick.
and the thing of it is? he thinks he's a great catch, hot shit, and an all around nice guy. and he's not. just because you have a high paying job doesn't mean shit. there is something to definately be said for not walking around like you shit gold. even more to be said for not getting offended by every sarcastic comment a girl makes in retort to you trying to be a smart ass. every fucking thing i said was met with a grimace...ESPECIALLY if it had anything to do with downplaying how fucking great he, himself, thought he fuckin was.
uch!! so aggravating!!!
in other news: jeremy piven....i want to fuck his brains out.
rawrrrr!
106 comments:
ok seriously, what the fuck is with all these goddamn fucking ass advertisements all of the sudden?
Hmm, I guess I wish I was Jeremy Piven and not the other guy then. That was an easy decision.
Gotta luv blogs! Good post will
check out more. Like chocolate gift novelty? Been geting
my sites about chocolate gift novelty
come see me. out for now... laters
Hey, I never said I wasn't.
some guys just do not get it. The world is not about them and a date is not about them. For me, a little self effacing humour always played well, Take some consolation, with an attitude like that he may not breed *G*
Elle- I thought you swore off dating? What is going on around here?
dont confuse me with questions of assholiness!
we were talking about your magnificent boobage.
Brian--i did, but....he said the magic word: sushi! that and i knew it wouldn't work out and it amuses me to no end to fuck with this guy.....
Murph: his name was jeremy. how fuckinw weird
Jersey! may i fluff your pillow? ;P
Morning all y'all!
awww poor Jersy...why was the train late?
*shows off her "New Jersy: Only the Strong Survive" shirt*
that really happened?!
I bet it did..it happen on some CSX tracks here a few weeks ago..guy fell asleep in the middle of the tracks...or passed out...whatever you call it.
god people are idiots.
well one less asshole for me to date haha
why date anyone? it's just legalized prostitution...
whitedevil: when we getting married?
no clue....come to town..Ill try ya out and then we can go to the courthouse.
maybe jersy. never really thought about it.
dude..it's cause we're like *this*
you eat the peaches man...i'll stick to the watermelon
hook it up dawg!!
i'll bring the robo litter!
yes it's sad i'm in love with this thing. even more sad i think it's adorable that lulu sits and watches it work.
wanna come over and watch spiderman with me jersy?
even the nicest of guys can be turned into an asshole by one woman ...
not that I'm claiming to have ever been a nice guy ... I think of myself as an asshole with nice guy qualities ...
the ads on the comments are starting to get on my last nerve, you shouldn't give those people the satisfaction elle
I got murph and dude to totally fucking agree ... in jinx, even
pinch, poke, you both owe me a coke
And thus did the DZER anoint the murph to be his first disciple, and it was good.
but they spam regardless Jabberstud
and yes..well put men
and lo, the ripe-breasted women, one of the east, one of the west, heard the message of the DZER, and swepteth down from heaven came singing cherubim, to acclaim the great prophet ...
t-money ... sad thing is ... that's the best compliment a woman has paid me since ... well ... since the stripper sat on my head, grinded her hips and said "ooh! I love the stubble!"
stop!
*tear glistens in corner of his eye*
you had me at "aawwwww!"
bro-her is good....over his aches and pains i guess
Dz...we heart you
better stubbly stripper ... or stubby stripper?
dude! honemaid makes these new breakfast bars.
orgasm!
I've never been hearted afore ...
*sings "Can You Feel the Love Tonight"
why am i awatching a movie i don't like?
i need to get laid. i'm a veritable hornball of physical neediness
okay. admission over.
nothing else on tv. nothing else to do.
upside. i have a kitchen table now!!
story of my life ... the horny women are an ocean away ...
btw ... everyone should have an artist as a friend ... can I get a holla for the pic?
it's ghetto...but hey, a nice table cloth covers that right up!
oh my god the dawson *hangs head in shame*...JOEY!..dawson no! we can't! JOEEEY!!!!!!!
HOLLA!!!
here's the addy of the full toon:
DZER in da truck
they don't make sectional couch covers..so ghetto marrooon stays!
Sorry to hear you had a date with an asshole. Those are never fun. Do you have one of those "save me" codes with a friend? You know, so they can call you during the date because there is an 'emergency' and then you can leave suddenly?
That's what you need.
iono..guess sectionals are too big to cover? i cover the part sofie sleeps on
naw Eric....i'm to big of a bitch for that. i flat out say i'm not interested
haloscan is pretty dope though jersy
OPERATION!!
double trouble man!
candyland!
shoots and ladders!
s'all about
JENGA!
boggle?
memory!
totally tubular!!
sacky balls didn't understand clue!
dumbass!
i'm trendy
*hangs head in shame*
she shouldnt laugh. she should hang herself over even considering having sex with the sacky balls
*vomit*
you're right. there are sit-ups to be done.....and then a shower...because
I GOT SOMEONE TO TAKE LA COCKAROCHA OUT OF THE SHOWER!!
i don't creep out. besides...i have my guest shower :)
Avi said he'd come over and do it :)
today. gotta go shower and shiz...then call him to come over.
in exchange, i buy him Pho.
come dude!
no.1 pho! superior and E 30th man. be there or be square
murph..you can come too
fuckin idiots in cleveland call it "f'oh"
that's almost as awesome as "cluck you chicken"
most annoying part of cleveland
it's not a gyro...it's a jyro. *shudders*
the guy in your picture... you got a thing for short dudes?
I think I was as tall as him in 4th grade
Agreed. Dicks are assholes in general.
but jeremy piven's attitude is fuckin awesome.
he makes asshole hot. much like vince vaughn!
I don't think Jeremy seems like a asshole....maybe he plays one sometimes in movie or on that TV show of his, but I've seen him on that IFC show with John Favreau, and he seemed pretty down to earth. Vince Vaughn on the other hand.....asshole. HA!
6'2"
6'4" when I wear my wifes heals on tuesdays
So, you're 6'4" today!
brian knows the days of the week!
Not as dumb as I look!
ya unfortunately my feet are not little, what hurts is squeezing a size 13 mens foot into a 10 ladies pump
my ex was a 15. cracked me up when he'd wear my flip flops to walk my dog. haha
you guys got all the good games in while i was working... but don't forget pick up stix and monopoly which i love to hate...
i'm an asshole... but i'm a girl, does it count?
can i just say that playing the really good food card to get someone to go out with you just isn't fair... :)
afternoon!
also... will you short girls leave a fucking tall one for a TALL GIRL please????
you guys better know im kidding about the heels
damn.
there goes my masterbation material. thanks Jabberstud! asshole!!
I think I am a great guy but after reading your blog, I am now calling myself an "asshole". Thank you for setting me free! I will try to be an "asshole" to the next person I come in contact with.
no bl! you're hot!
you can be my asshole. rawr! hehe
Sass: define tall :)
Opportunity presented itself. I just flipped off someone in attempts to be an asshole and the Bitch Pulled Out My Weave!
amen imoan...AMEN!
murph's an asshole. c'mon now
elle: taller than me and i'm 5'11" and a bit
:)
I enjoy taller women. I am 5'9" on a good day.
i'm 5'8'' on a good day...that count?
Perfect. :)
Short is very good too :) See... I am an asshole!
dude you're 5'7''...why short?
sweet! come on over mr bl!
According to travelocity, for me to get to cleveland, oh ....my connection flight will be in orange county, ca... should work out fine. ;)
threesome?!!
haha
the postal service video is working. shaweet!
i'm 3 hours from da mich
6 from da oc.
we can work it man.
meet up in uhhhh....kansas city?
get eric in on it!
alright. i'm down with vegas
he ran away man. typical asshole!
what happened to not dating anymore?
Hahaha! I am at the office screwing around like an asshole. Sorry. hahaha. :) I had a conference call and people calling me with dumb questions. Believe me. I am more interested in travels. :P
i swear. i'm about yay close to marrying sof!
come to jamaica!
im 5'7.
but hung like a donkey.
murph: close the blog, leave teh comments open
elle: you're 5'8"? that's coo you can have tall ones. it's the girls who have like 8 inch heels on and are still 5.1 that sorta make me want to shake them a little
:)
too tired to work
204 comments! I forgot what the fuck the original post was even about!
yep yep. keeping it real...
i agree- jeremy piven is at the top of my "to do before i die" list.
i mean, really- i'm not going to be able to squeeze him into my schedule today, so i figure "before i die" gives me a more realistic timeframe.
Post a Comment