i wouldn't even bother reading this one. seriously.

so i was running late this fair, gloriously cloudy, perfect-for-napping-weather day, because my dumbass of a cat decided it would be super fun to pee in the vicinity of her kitty litter, but not directly in it. batard of a kitty! so, while i was waiting for the water to boil so i could eat my oatmeal, i had to industrial wash her little litter trapper matt (where she peed), the entire bathroom floor, her entire litter box (told you i'm OCD), the tiolet my daddy calls throne--for good measure, and my hands.......the little pussy does it again, her 5lb ass is going down (and by going down i mean that she won't get any treats for a week..god i'm so mean!)

in other news..do you ever look at yourself and realize you have reached new and unknown levels of paleness? yea, once again, must be singular to me. anyway, back to my pointless blubbering: i was thinking last night, seeing as i got a night off from the GG but talked to both avi and evan. for those not keeping track at home avi is a guy i met about three years ago and basically blew me off even though i was kinda-sorta-halfway into him, but as of late (and me being cool enough to say "whatever" to his behavior-sorry, had to ego boost myself for a minute, i'm wearing a granny sweater and feeling very un-hot!), the boy has been rather attached to my ass in a you-live-8-hours-away-but-i-know-you're-coming-back kind of way. example: the boy went to israel for a month to chill with his family, and the minute he landed at JFK he called me--twice because the first time i didn't pick up, and the second time he left me a cute little message (aww!)--and for some reason, that struck me as odd. and since his return from fair israel, he has called me everyday (sometimes numerous times a day) to "talk", and then when he found out i was going to cleveland this coming weekend for some 4th of july boozin, he pretty much mandated i see him (hah fat chance!). evan, on the other hand, is probably one of the hottest guys i've ever seen as far as jewish guys go--by normal standards he's pretty cute, but for a jew he is *hot*--and everytime we'd go out he'd pretty much put his dick on the table for my taking. now i'm not so stupid as to think that he wants something more than some booty, and i'm also not so stupid as to think i'm the only girl he's ever done this with; however, sometimes the boy says things so disgustingly sweet that my little heart flutters and i can't tell where the "game" stops and him being "real" begins. besides, if i wasn't such a fuckin prude i'd have fucked him the second time we hung out.....because finding a hot jew is like finding full flavor ice cream that is calorie and fat free--it's IMPOSSIBLE!

now, i'm pretty much assuming--and i think correctly assuming--a relationship with sir evan is pretty much never going to happen..so him? he's out of the thought processing/overanalyzing picture, but he's hot..so he gets an automatic booby grab, and he can pass "go". so that leaves me with avi, and GG. to be fair, i don't really know avi that well, but in my book he's a good guy...mostly because when he says he'll do something he does it, and when he says he'll call he'll call. he also has this insane habit of saying the right things at the right moments--i.e. "dude, my friends are throwing me a party for when i come back next weekend, how lame are they? any excuse to party, right?" his reply: "you aren't an excuse, you're a reason. you deserve a party, you're great." (i just had the urge to do a tony the tiger impression, but i'll refrain). awwww *hork*. add the fact he's jewish, has a college education, and is over 6'0''....and, he's a fairly strong contender, even though i have no idea what his intentions with me are at all, but something about a wedding and needing a date did come up in convo and he said "well, we'll see". anyway!, then there is GG who i met three days before i left for the lovely NY at my little going-away party thingy. we met, we talked, he made me dance, we smoochie smooched, and we spent the entire weekend together pretty much. so on monday, as i packed up to leave, it was really REALLY strange, but i actually missed having him around---him, this guy i've only known for about 3 days. so, since i left he and i have talked every single fucking day, and though he's not the brightest guy or the most formal...i like him. i like him because i can be my dipshit self around him (unlike some people from law school who i have to be continually witty and trying to outsmart people), and he says all the things you should never ever say to a girl you are interested in (you know, that whole power thing, don't want the girl thinking he's got the upper hand blah blah blah)--but he doesn't care. he honestly doesn't care, and that is one thing i *love* about him. unlike most people who have caveats with how you percieve them or things hidden away, he just kind of goes "this is me, you don't like it, then tell me and if i like you i'll think about modifying myself, otherwise fuck off". i envy and admire that. downside of GG? he's not jewish, he's not over 6'0'' (i'm a height nazi..bite me), and he has no college education...which aren't all huge issues, but one choice downside listed above is giguntor.

so i guess my issue is: when push comes to shove, who would i choose if forced to choose? which i'm not forced to and so far it's Mr. GG all the way, so all in all this is rather redundant and stupid eh? but these are the things i think about as i fall asleep mostly because i'm one of those people who plan everything and have to examine all possibilities before embarking on anything that involves other people being affected in any way.....which yes, i realize is everything, and YES this is why i probably already have an ulcer and, as an upside, least it'll make me a good lawyer.

and i'm spent.