a drop falls upon my face and the journey resembles a river utting a rock and that rock makes up my heart. i need someone to come help me.

1. [sarcasm] i love construction. love, love, love. [/sarcasm] not only is an entire half of a street ripped up for miles upon miles, but the result of that ripping has created none other than a mud pit that has made fucking the decree of the orange cones and fencing and walking straight through damn near impossible. to add to this awesomeness, they are now starting construction on the facade of my school which means the entire grassy area my dog [and all the dogs in my apartment building] use to shit and piss to their merry delight is now fenced off completely. it also makes it impossible for me to walk to class because they blocked off the only way to get from euclid to the law building with the aforementioned fence. now, instead of walking around just construction i get the joy of walking around the entire fucking building's construction and the biggest fuck-up cleveland's transportation department has yet to undertake to get to the library to enter the building, to climb six flights of stairs, to be able to access any class rooms. FANTASTIC! [sarcasm] construction=intelligence, for cereal y'all!! [/sarcasm]

2. nothing is more attractive than watching someone snot rocket. seriously. what could possibly beat watching someone shoot a stream of snot out of their nose because god forbid they use a tissue, or, wait 'til they can use a tissue to effectively clear their nasal cavity. the attractiveness is only amplified when the stream of snot being shot out of someones nostril lands right back on them.

3. apparently hating yourself enough to literally kill yourself with insane amounts of working out and limiting your amount of food intake drastically to loose enough weight to so that you're mildly okay with your body but not nearly okay enough to be comfortable with it does not go without it's consequences...well, other than, arguably, your health. somehow four chicks that "go" to my gym--conveniently the same four chicks who are coincidentally dating the guys i train with--asked me to help them loose weight. how i'm going to do this i really have no idea. it's not like i can go in there and say "look ladies...you have to basically do some form of a work out in every second of your spare time, and when you think of food..you have to find something to replace that urge all but two times a day...for me, it was smoking and gum chewing..for you? well, you decide." i may have to just completely back out of this "honor."

3. i'm okay with the fact i have take-home finals...i'm just not really understanding why we have to check out the test and have a set time frame to do them. why not just make it due the day that specific class was scheduled for a test? would make life a lot easier, no? not to mention giving us seventy-two hours from the time we pick up the exam to complete the exam is totally superfluous...i mean seriously, twenty-four hours is probably more than enough time. who does this shit before the last minute? honestly!

4. a new company has apparently bought the building i live in, which doesn't really matter much to me; however, they are going through every apartment in the building to assess undocumented damage etc...also, not a huge, huge deal...except for the fact i have an "illegal cat". say it with me: fuck.

5. speaking of the aforementioned "illegal cat"...she now has the premier kitty litter box. yes, that's right, she has the ultimate in kitty shitboxes: the cat genie. i have to admit, it's pretty bomb ass...and i've had to fight the urge to piss in it just for shits in giggles....the only problem is i had to turn the water pressure on the guest toilet all the way up and am now petrified to flush that toilet. to add insult to injury, my puppy--who happens to sleep in the guest shower [no, seriously..she sleeps in the actual shower]--is petrified of the machine when it runs. this shall be interesting...but at least my apartment will no longer have a hue of kitty litter stench. wahoooozie!

6. the lease on my beloved hailey--a 2004 civic ex--is up in august, which puts me in a position to beg my father to get me a new car...and yes, i'm well aware that makes me sound like a complete fucking brat but it's either he shells out cash to buy my civic [which i make the lease payments for, mind you], or he can help me lease another car. i love hailey, she's a fantastic car...but taking into consideration that i have a dog and that plowing it purely optional downtown--and conveniently an option they choose against--it would be nice to have a car that was better suited to the shitty city of cleve. i mean, honestly...it's not that i don't adore having my car stall every time she has to traverse more than two inches of snow...and it's certainly not that i don't love having sofie sitting next to me in the passenger seat all the while sticking her head out the sunroof, standing on my thighs so i can't see the fucking road, getting her snot all over the dashboard, and forcing me to do the soccer-mom arm every time i break and turn...it's just that..well? i don't love it. so, my sights are now set on the audi a3. i'm not crazy about how it looks...and i know it's not going to help my i-don't-want-to-ever-be-a-soccer-mom cause, but it's all wheel drive, has a trunk for strategic sofie placement purposes, comes in a six-speed manual, and is fairly reasonably priced. wish me luck, my beloved heschers, in my endeavor to convince my dad that nothing says "happy 25th birthday e! we love you" better than this car.

7. i have outright determined that living in my apartment is totally ridiculous. why? because there is no possible way for me to open my windows. aside from the fact that i can't open them because they have no screens, which means everything outside is now inside my apartment and my cat who remains inside will be outside my apartment, i can't even fucking open the goddamn windows to begin with. i'm serious...i physically can't open the bitches. i tried yesterday...numerous times...just to slightly crack them open to get a bit of a breeze in my apartment and it just wasn't fucking happening. so, while it is a perfect sixty degrees outside with a nice breeze...i'm sitting in my apartment with the air conditioning on. sucks balls.

8. for anyone who is interested in working out at home and still getting a fan-fuckin-tastic work-out, may i introduce to you ms. jari love. she's about as entertaining as a piece of toast, but the work out is awesome. it's circuit training, in a matter of speaking, and i was sweating my balls off after the first five minute interval. i've only done the work-out five times in the past two weeks, but i can see results and am definitely more toned. it's pretty fuckin' sweeeeeeeeeeeeet!

9. people always look at me like i'm a fucking freak when i casually say "i hate my birthday," and i really have no idea why. for starters...it's just a fucking day. that's it, another day in the year...so, what's the big deal? "ohh, it's the day you were born! it's your day!".....okay, and? it's not my day....it's other people's day to make about me, and that adds to my birthday loathing as well. last year my birthday present was getting side swiped by a semi truck, totalling my car, breaking my ribs, having to rent a car, and driving sixteen hours to spend three hours in the office....see what this years has in store for me, outside of another reminder of how disassociated i've become.

10. i'm not sure how, but ryan must have preyed on me in a moment of absolute weakness--and by weakness i mean drunkenness or being drugged up on benadryl/ambien/tylenol/marijuana--and somehow he convinced me to join match.com with him. eh, least i don't have to pay for it..but still, total waste of money on his part. anyway, they have a chemistry test you're required to take and i found it rather interesting because it does seem to suit me in a matter of speaking...not to mention it's totally flattering and that makes me feel warm and fuzzy on the side because i'm tired of feeling like the bad guy lately:

You are an EXPLORER/negotiator

You are a highly spontaneous person who always likes to try new things. Novel and unpredictable situations don't bother you; instead you find them challenging and exciting. You tend to be focused and resourceful and you are able to juggle a lot of projects at the same time; as a result you are sometimes a whirlwind of activity.

You have a firm grip on reality and enjoy living in the present tense. But you have a keen imagination that enables you to lift off from time and space to be remarkably creative.

You are humorous. You are able to laugh at yourself, and you like entertaining others.
You have a deep sense of compassion. You can show genuine insight into the needs of others; you are good at listening and talking; and you express a genuine desire to be helpful.

Yet you are easy-going. Your tolerance for others and their beliefs, your lack of prejudice, your ability to compromise and your occasional antics make you popular with others and a great companion.

How Your Personality Breaks Down

Explorer - 30% of your personality: Known for high energy, high creativity and spontaneity. Seeks novelty, risk, and pleasure. Intellectually curious and not easily swayed by opinion.

Builder- 21% of your personality: Usually very popular. Deep attachment to home and family. Clam demeanor and low anxiety. Often consistent, loyal and protective.

Negotiator- 26% of your personality: Excels at seeing the pig picture, long-term planning and consensus building. An intuitive thinker who is flexible, verbal and socially skilled. Imaginative, empathetic and nurturing.

Director- 21% of your personality: Daring, original, direct and inventive. A non conformist. Skilled at abstract thinking and short-term planning. Often assertive and quite competitive. Tough-minded and efficient.

have a good weekend guys.