false pretenses, more so i can say. logic and obligation make it hard to stray away. all these thoughts are attacking me, and i can't find an answer

i have notebook upon notebook filled with random things i write...so, i figure why not share a bit of it. ergo, i present to you:

randomness
'cause i'm one random little wench

...it's not until you break that you see all that's lying underneath.

...be my distraction, be mine.

...and when you can't sleep at night it's because you've ruined your mind.

...i'm out of breath from saying all these things i'll regret.

...we could be perfect together, so i'll admit that you really like me.

...i'd die to keep myself away from you.

...i keep things hidden so they can never leave.

...i want to be someone, i'm just not sure who.

...the color beautiful reflects in your eyes.

...i live in quotes and can't say anything right.

...optimism is a phase you grow out of.

...you're too weak to be my cure.

...don't judge me simply because i'm not you.

...i help you fix yours, why can't i fix mine?

...when do worthwhile girls get thier happily ever after.

...your love is so adorable.

...i'll leave the past where it should be because my future looks fantastic without you.

...close your eyes and see where the light takes you.

...draw the twinkle back in my eyes with serrated confetti.

...a warm cup of pretend soothes and calms me.

...seconds seem like a lifetime of unrequited relief.

...it's all so false, but i just can't seem to resist.

...memories echo for the remainder of your life.

...is it love or the memories that keep my mind creeping back to you?

...is it possible to grow up exactly as you imagined?

...when you look at my face don't use the reflection in my versace's to check yourself out.

...i need the healing hands of someone who understands.

...i stopped enough to never let it show, and i hid it so well.

...there's always that feelign you'd do anything to get back.

...we met. i wish i could forget.

...have faith, someday things will be different. hope whispers when you want to give up.

...i hope you can't breath so you turn paltry like me.

...don't try to drown your sorrows. sorrows know how to swim.

...i want to kiss the rain.

...i'm not important enough to have meaning.

...you want to be loved? darling it's too late.

...if you promise to follow, i'll run slower.

...people hurt you, they criticize you, and then turn their back and wonder what the fuck your problem is.

...hiding only alarms people when the real you peers out.

...never knowing what i want, but knowing i don't want this.

...abandon these walls you've spent your whole life building.

...i'll speak when i can fast forward and see if you're worth it.

...you look so beautiful with all these bruises on your ego.

...i'm sharing a drink with a memory, and this affinity revival army.

...carry me anywhere but where these walls mock my attempts; anywhere where the door slides left.

...second chances are just a chance to break the scab grown over this road rashed heart.

...i need this more than words could ever know.

...misery loving company is how we get by.

...tucked neatly on the shelf are all the times you should have asked for help.

...it's bound to go away; feelings never stay.

...misery is a shade and i wear it so well.

...empty eyes are bleeding your own sorrow.

...you look so beautiful with these bruises on your ego.

...lets picnic in this valley of a shadow of death, lets frolic through these green pastures, and what good is this coffin i lie myself in to rest when it does change that i'm alone.

...can i ask you a question please? promise you won't laugh. honestly, i'm standing here afraid i'll be betrayed. as twisted as it seems i only fear love when it's in my dreams. can you turn my black roses red?