you've been done with me, but i'm too close to leave. you animate the sin in me and with you i can leave reality. you're the enemy i need to leave.

time warner cable. v. me:

i switched apartments; therefore, i had to close the account at my former apartment and open up a new cable account at my current apartment. no big deal, right? so i thought; however, my bank forgot to update the account number and rather than posting payment to my new account, they were posting payment to my old account. i had no idea, really, until a guy showed up at my door saying he was going to take my cable box if i didn't pay the minimum balance on the account. now, i'm one argumentative little whore...but, i realize there are some people that just aren't there for me to get my argumentation-on with because they really have no idea, and they really can't do anything; thus, i paid the dude and kept my cable box and called time warner to ask them why they hadn't received my payments....to which the customer service lady said she would have someone call me within four hours. no one called. fast forward a month to yesterday, when my cable was shut off completely. i call to ask why:

"your cable was shut off because your account shows a default balance of four monthly payments. if you'd like to take care of that over the phone with a credit card, i'd be more than happy to turn your cable back on."
"what do you mean a default of four months?"
"no payment has been posted to your account in four months m'am"
"well, i called a month ago when i was supposedly in default, explained to them that the bank has been posting the payment to my previous account, and was told that someone would call me back in four hours. no one called, and payment was still made by my bank."
"well, that sounds like something you need to take up with your bank."
"no, it doesn't. my bank paid someone, and that someone is you...so unless you're engaging in some fraudulent scheme to get money, there is no reason that money should have ever been received to pay an account that was closed well over six months ago. my bank shows payment for the past four months, which means there is at minimum about $400.00 floating around your system that was illegally obtained since i closed the account they posted to, and thus Time Warner has no right to receive or retain that money. if you'd like, i'd be more than willing to involve my bank, and a law enforcement agency to figure out what's going on, although i'd rather you just involve you."

ta dow, motha fuckers. miraculously, they found my old account with a credit balance of well over four hundred dollars in it, officially closed the account they should have closed six months ago, and credited it to my current acount....and turned my cable back on. ain't nobody gonna keep me from watching nip/tuck....tee hee!

law students v. me:

i'm required to take a class entitled "theories of justice," which is basically a philisophical venture into the who-gives-a-fuck meaning of the word "justice." for some reason, there is this basic posulate that justice entails those things that people are entitled to...and for some reason no one in my class found a problem with that...and, of course, for some reason i did. i keep my mouth shut because there seriously would be mutiny on my ass if i actually raised my hand and questioned the basic premise that people are entitled to things, because for some reason law school seems to be the scholastic equivalent of tree-hugging-fucktard. these are the same people that looked at me like i was fucking insane when i actually argued that the incarceration of one innocent person along with ten guilty people was just dandy and how it should be, whereas letting ten guilty people go free just so that innocent person remains out of jail is simply ludicrous.

but, i really don't see how mere existence gives anyone an entitlement to anything. sure, empathetically it seems only natural to assume that existence begets an entitlement to nourishment and shelter, as well as other basic needs....but, that's not intrinsic to existence. that's an effect of the subsequent societal communities we participate in. simply existing in the most terse sense, though? yea, congrats...you're alive...that's about it. it's the same as this notion of equality: everyone should be equal. yea, sure...it makes sense because we live in a society where equality is stressed...but, you can't just say people should be equal...you have to say equal as to something in particular, otherwise it makes no sense....and that "equal as to what" is what makes equality such a farcical notion because that "as to what" aspect shifts from community to community..

...hmm, okay...that probably makes no sense, and i really am just a cold hearted bitch...alright! moving on!

e v. mascara:

i really have no idea where make-up companies got this idea that women want their eyelashes to transgress the full, long, and natural looking realm...and go straight into looking like they took spider legs and glued them onto their lash line, but it's a bit ridiculous. i'm all for awesome lashes, but some of this shit on the market is just frightening and almost nature defying. if god didn't give you thick, long, lashes...then suck it up and get fake ones...but don't propogate the make-up companies coming up with frightening solutions that make your eyelashes look disturbing and arachnid like. it's mascara...not a miracle.

e v. some random chick on myspace:

this wasn't so much a battle of any sort, it just amused the fuck out of me. in a fit of boredom, i actually logged into myspace today for the first time in about two weeks...and there it was, just sitting there...a message from someone i've never conversed with in my entire life. i opened it, only to find that it wasn't from this random dude i've never talked to...but to see it was from his girlfriend. the e-mail said, and i quote: "hey i was on my boyfriends myspace account and i found all these messages between you two and he claims "that girl is fucking sick what the hell would i want with a fucking whore like that" so i was wondering if you would write me back telling me the name or if you remember the number that he gave you to call him on?? i'd appreciate it and i mean come on if you fucked around with my boyfriend you should have enough respect to give me the name he gave you. i mean it could have been his disgusting friend that has STDs cause you look like the kinda girl he'd be attracted to thanks" so, not only did i get a message from someone i don't know, but that message was from that someone's girlfriend who hacked into his account, and was asking if i had ever fucked him. to make it even more funny, this girl is seventeen years old....and the age of the dude who's account she used is twenty four....so, while she sits there judging me as a whore simply because she's an insecure bitch who has yet to figure out that guys don't like jealous bitches who hack into their accounts to 'cause nothing more than drama....she's engaging in a little something we call statutory rape.

anyway, a year ago today i went out on a horrible date with some jewish dude who wound up watching the basketball game and drinking himself under the table, while i chit chatted with anyone sitting around me...and i looked like this:

and about seven years ago circa sometime this month, my band in highschool played the "battle-o-the-bands"...and i sounded like i just sucked on a tank of helium, and we sounded like this. thank god all those years of smoking, drug use, and drinking caught up with me...oh, and i hit puberty..'cause now i have a rather "low" voice for a chick and now sound like this**.

and with that, i bid y'all a . now if you'll excuse me i'm going to pray i don't die. between working five nights this week, writing a thesis, taking two tests, and having what could be the flu....or could be sleep deprivation manifesting itself in the most shitty way, i'm beyond running on fumes..i'm running on sheer insanity. sorry i've been mia from blogland this week....i shall be back with a vengeance, i promise.

good god, i'd give anything for a bed right now...

**do not ask me how drunk i was when that was recorded. seriously, don't. i couldn't even tell you, because i don't even remember anything from that night other than showing up at the venue and being handed drink after drink, after drink...and around 10pm, i lose all recollection.