this prayer is for me tonight, i'm this far down the line and i still haven't got it right.i never armed my soul for what the future could hold.

first...new songs have been uploaded for your listening [dis] pleasure. if no one gives a fuck, for the love of all christ let me know so i stop wasting time and making my ulcer sputter trying to upload the fucking things. k? k!

oh...and just to get this off my chest: this.is.fucking.ridiculous. really, it is. it's bad enough that you get a fucking postcard in the mail if things are all clear and a phone call if things aren't "normal," but the fact i get a mother fucking phone call every fucking time? i'm tired of this. if something is wrong, then let there be something wrong. i'd almost rather have something horribly wrong with me than have to go through this repeatedly, and the subsequent tests...just to get a "everything is fine, come back in two months for a repeat" and then have the whole thing happen again. i'm done. doctors are now on boycott.

anyway....i got "tagged" by nat simply by reading the post....so...uhm, enjoy?

1. explain what ended your last relationship?
he seemed to have tripped and fell, and his dick magically landed in another girls vah-jay-jay....repeatedly...for 6 months prior to us "breaking up" which was done via aol instant messenger because he didn't want to go get his phone from the living room and actually talk to me. that's love. especially after nearly three years together....oh yea.

2. when was the last time you shaved?
this morning. i swam for most of my life...shaving is just shower habit now...plus, if you let the hoo-hoo go, it gets itchy like a mother fucker and that ain't cool baby.

3. what were you doing at 8am this morning?
i was in class. that's all i do...go to class, and work.

4. what were you doing 15 minutes ago?
staring at the computer screen, and trying really fucking hard not to snap on the idiot next to me who is listening to his ipod during class insanely loud. give me fifteen more minutes and i i'm sure the answer will be "bitch smacking the fuck out of him."

5. are you good at math?
per societal standards? yes. per the familial standard? i fucking blow.

6. your prom night?
what about it? i didn't get laid, if that's what your asking. my high school boyfriend wouldn't even go with me. i went all four years of high school...and i hated it every single time.

7. do you have famous ancestors?
i probably did, but that mass murdering fuckhead hitler probably killed 'em all. i actually am a descendant of the vikings...i guess that's pretty cool. who wants me to rape and pillage them?

8. have you had to take a loan out for school?
nope. i'm fortunate enough to have parents that value mine [and my brother's] education over their own material needs etc. granted, it did give them an immense power over my course of action academically, but hey...sometimes that isn't always bad

9. do you know the words to the song on your myspace profile?
i know the words to almost every song in my itunes...yup...all four thousand eight hundred songs, and seeing as i made a playlist for my myspace from my itunes...i'm going to have to logically conclude that yea, i know the words to the songs on my myspace.

10. last thing received in the mail?
contacts. still waiting for the letter from the mayor of whatever town it was that suspended my license, so i can take it to the dmv..pay more money..and continue to drive around, except do it legally rather than illegally.

11. how many different beverages have you had today?
water, green tea, and two beers...the third is coming up as soon as i finish typing this sentence. cheers.

12. do you ever leave messages on peoples answer machines?
i don't think i've called anything but a cell phone in the past four years..so no. no i haven't. i don't leave voicemail either..mostly because i have this horrible habit of babbling to no end.

13. who did you lose your concert virginity to?
oh god, this is horrible. it was bush. first concert i went sans family member to...i moshed, i body surfed, i smoked more weed than i ever had before...woo, it was good times. even if it was bush.

14. do you draw your name in the sand when you go the beach?
nope. i'm usually in the water. go figure.

15. what is the most painful dental procedure you have had?
hmmm, it wasn't painful but it sounds wretched: before i had braces i had to have an expander placed on my upper jaw that basically cracked my upper pallet...so three times a day my mom shoved a key into the device, and cranked it..sounds awesome huh?

16. what is out your back door?
hmmmm is this the backdoor to my house? or the one to my body? either way, i live in an apartment, and outside of my own personal back door is pants.

17. any plans for friday night?
going to see broken social scene...hopefully it won't be alone, but i'm learning not to put faith in what my friends say.

18. do you like what the ocean does to your hair?
yes. yes. yes. is that clear enough? i have insanely thick and heavy hair...and when my hair was black i looked asian from the black 'cause my hair is so straight. little salt water..and my hair does this funky wavy thing, and isn't so fucking heavy.

19. have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 diferent popcorns?
i have no idea what the fuck you are talking about...but i don't eat popcorn in public[read: in front of other people]...so if i did get it, it'd be tossed rather quickly

20. have you ever been to a planetarium?
that's one of the few cool things to do in cleveland...that's how shitty this city is.

21. do you re-use towels after you shower?
i use two towels. the towel i use to dry off my body gets three days, and the towel i use on my face and hair gets one day...i do a lot of laundry y'all 'cause i shower three times a day usually.

22. some things you are excited about?
i don't know anymore. everytime i let myself get excited...something goes counter to that high. might as well circumvent the potency of the inevitable low.

23. what is your favorite flavor of jello?
orange...although, i haven't had jello since i was about ten, so that may have changed.

24. describe your keychain(s)?
apartment key, car key, parents house key, mail key, and an eeyore.

25. we regret to inform you that question twenty-five has been omitted on account of it's public display's of nudity, and it's torrid affair with the crack rock. he has entered himself into rehab, and asks for your prayers such that he may have a speedy recovery. don't forget to see his piece of shit movie and/or buy his poor excuse for an album. holla!

26. where do you keep your change?
in my giant "starbucks-shanghai" cup i got while i was over there. if you are thinking about coming and stealing it..just know that i live in a city, and thus quarters are used daily for parking...and if you do come in and steal it you'll just have a big cup full of pennies and nickels. oh, and you'll be forced to hang out with me, too. not worth it man. not worth it.

27. what kind of winter coat do you own?
i have a lot...seeing as it's winter here for 9 months. i have a fendi, dkny, and kenneth coal trench coats....a burberry down coat....and yea, they're all black. i also have my snowboarding coats. yee haw. a little over a month until orgasmic boarding commences!

28. what was the weather like on your graduation day?
high school? sunny. undergrad? sunny. i think graduation is placed in the end of may and beggining of june for that purpose...you know?

29. do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?
when i lived with other people, it would be closed...now that i live alone...what's the point? i don't even close the door when i shower anymore...besides, my dog and cat can come and go as they please.

30. whoever wants to do this lil ol thang...well then tag yourself.