i need you...
to get out of my thoughts, to get out of my reveries, to disappear from existence every time i close my eyes, because this can't be normal...this can't be natural...and it's certainly not normal or natural to me.
every time i slip slightly from actuality there you are, or at least what i think you are and it can't be commonplace to fantasize about a potential pigment in a rainbow built on impossibility...
impracticability...
unfeasability.
no. that's the sort of thing for dreamers. that's the kind of thing optimistic people do....they look out into the future and see an endless stream of possibilities and think nothing teeters that fine line of futile. that's the kind of thing people who truly do move on without so much as a scrape from the war zone and wreckage brought on by the ghosts of relationship past...
unlike the majority of us who say we've moved on, act like we've moved on, and silently lick our wounds when it's damn near impossible for anyone to be looking, and if they are looking, well...then all bets are off, but the truth won't ever pass go , collect a chance at verbalization, and buy property on the lavish road entitled "i'm vulnerable, i'm uncomfortable, and i'm human."
fortitude finds few and it certainly stopped looking for me...and my wounds have festered into a blistering boil of diffidence and timorousness.
so please...
get out of my head....leave my thoughts...disappear when i close my eyes. kindly turn around when i reach a new level of sexual apex, even though that climb was all because of you.
my heart can't flutter on a wing and a near impossible prayer...and i'm far to fragile to handle the inevitable plummet that all the cards in the world have concluded is the only possible way for this incubus to end. the only thing at the end of this rainbow built on droplets of unthinkable, is a rain cloud filled with my tears.
you've made me into a dreamer...something i'm not meant to be...
that's why i need you...
to go...
so i can end this nightmarish discomposure...
i need you...
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12 comments:
around the tracks and through the cracks we slip, surrender.
it's early morning, twisting, turning.
what dreams have you viewed, tried to elude?
i brush your hair you're unaware, yet curle at my side. you look so small asleep and all, i wish i could tell you...
i hear you say "fine fine, i want you to be mine, but i don't need you"
now i lie awake again...
a shiver down your spine, i want you to be mine because i need you...
My wise-ass comments can only make things worse, so I'll just say I think you are awesome.
Yeah...I am all out of funny and sarcastic. *hugs*
-N
This doesn't deserve wise ass comments....
this was heart-felt and open
It was real too
You know its funny how we expect ourselves to move on without ever giving much consideration of how to do it. I've been reading about some methods to take control over your memories and thus your emotions. So far all I can say is that I think its working. I hope you find your way. Good luck.
Anon: eeep! what the shit is all that?
Flounder: please, bring on the wise ass comments. for the love of god, PLEASE! see? drinking and blogging is a bad bad idea. baaaadddd idea.
Nat: noooooo, how can you be out of funny and sarcastic?!
MJ: as are you ;)
Kristen: blehhhhhhh. no more being real for me. this sucks.
LSD: take control over your memories and emotions? hmmmmm. i think i'll pass, seeing as i rarely deal with emotions to begin with.
I'll give you credit for being so open and honest. Takes guts.
Steve~
yer sad? that is so gay.
test
^
that was gay
me... I hold on until I'm tattered skin on the pavement and rattling bones chained to the rear bumper...
but that's just me... and I'm trying like hell to walk away...
getting high doesn't seem to help... maybe if I wasn't doing it alone
oh, well, the ubiquitous "they" tell me to just go fuck someone - maybe I'll try that :p
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