show me where the door is 'cause i'm failing to see. watch me bleed out. i'm the worst at knowing when my curtain's been called.

first...how obnoxious is the new template? oh yes...courtesy of one too many bong hits, insomnia induced delirium, and vacuuming intermittently throughout the day due to my dog having a case of the fleas.

second, for some reason my site gets submitted to various review sites and i'm thinking i know who the culprit is [*cough* e *cough*], and, per usual. i didn't get a good review. my blog got frogged, and apparently i try too hard, i write for an audience, i fail at being a bitch, and the fact i use the word "bitch" in my self description automatically makes me completely unworthy of readers. there are characteristics the word "bitch" evokes, unbeknownst to me, and none of them carry the general overtone of "i just don't give a fuck" and "facetious" which i seem to consider the essence of my bitch vibe. perhaps it is really that unbelievable that i'm the same in person as i appear to be on this bloggy blog, but for what it's worth...the powers that be think i fucking suck. oh..and they obviously can't discern the difference between "bitch" and "bitchy."

third, for two weekends now i've gotten people more drunk than they are used to. i'm thinking this is bad thing, no? i should be banned from giving people with little to no tolerance any alcohol. this weekends victim was the infamous gay neighbor, who per my suggestions went to the bar to meet gay bartender, and stupidly drank everything that gay bartender put in front of him. needless to say, i've found something light years more annoying and pathetic than the typical hungover female, and the snivveling sneezing male....and it's called the homosexual dude with his head in my toilet all night.

homeboy was so drunk that he couldn't even get into his own apartment, but he wasn't drunk enough to make it overtly known that he wasn't sleeping on the couch where the dog sleeps. mr homosexualist spent the night in my room, in my bed, hugging my toilet...and i woke up from sleeping on the couch, only to feel guilty as fuck and immediately proceed to making him some breakfast. either i'm a shitty mother fuckin' cook, or he was still hungover at ten this morning, because about an hour after he ate the pancakes, crepes, and eggs i made him....his head was back in my toilet for a few hours. and then? then he slept in my bed until about six this evening.

i've never heard someone bitch and moan and whine as much as him while he had his head in the toilet. honestly? it cracked me the fuck up.

anyway, i don't want to seem like i'm trying too hard too hard to be bitchy, and like i'm simply writing to appeal to an audience.....so, i'm gonna wonder when the end of the world is going to occur because, believe it or not the browns just beat the jets.