but, of course...jdate to the rescue.
in the ten minutes i was logged into the website today some douchewad opts to instant message me and of course i opt to share the joy [and why muy thai and the affection of my dog and cat are more than enough such that i can continue avoiding dating like the fucking plague.] enjoy! and for you idiots, i'm fulablahnikluv.**
IMJam62481: So what do you look for in a guy?
fulablahnikluv: wow, that's to the point
IMJam62481: lol i dont like to waste time
fulablahnikluv: i have no idea. when i meet a decent one i'll tell you
IMJam62481: LOL...
IMJam62481: so tell me, r u more naughty or nice?
fulablahnikluv: depends on how you define them
IMJam62481: Well on a scale of 1-10, how sexual and open minded r u?
fulablahnikluv: on a scale of 1-10..how well does this "balls out" approach really work?
IMJam62481: Well its the first i have tried it... u tell me
fulablahnikluv: i'm assuming most girls wouldn't find it as amusing as me, and just block you
IMJam62481: well in that case lets get together for some fun
fulablahnikluv: i'm sorry, did this turn into JFuck when i wasn't looking? or did you mistake me for some kind of slut who you had a shot with, to begin with?
and then? the douchebag fucking blocks me. yup. he. blocks. me. how can you talk such a "big game"...albeit e-game...and then run away to mommy when you being an asshole oh-so-shockingly goes wrong? fucking pussy.
oh, and continuing with the jew theme of this post...october second is yom kippur. my tax professor is having our first exam that day. inconsiderate fucking asshole. i tried to talk to him about it last wednesday when he announced the date and he seriously looked at me like i just took twenty hits from the bong and was speaking aramaic in iambic pentameter. my guess is i'm going to have to suck it up, go there all malnourished and fast-ridden, and take the goddamn exam...'cause i'm guessing trying to talk to his bigoted catholic self won't really make a huge difference. it's the proverbial "taking one for the team," except, there is no team and i just get triple fucked: i don't get to eat all day, i have to take a fucking exam, and my atonement time is being compromised.
anyway...have some skanky goth boots.
** so i just realized that the im conversation wasn't showing unless you actually clicked to view the entire post...sorry about that! somehow it fell into the wrong span class...must be the evils of copy and pasting into blogger with the automatic post template script i use to allow for "post summaries" rather than having all my blabbering all out there. sorry!!
32 comments:
Ass Hat #1 here....
A waste of vagina and double d tits.... only those loving words could ever come from you my dear....
Elle being single isn't all that bad really hun! I know it can be lonely sometimes and well nothing beats having a nice warm body laying next to you but ya know if you really wanted that you could; there are plenty of girls that are willing to whore themselves out b/c they are so scared of being alone. Be proud of yourself that you are not one of these! It is a beautiful thing that you love yourself (yes you do...yes you do!) enough to stick to the engrained morals your parents taught you! I think you are awesome even if you don't! Besides (and yeah I hate hearing this too) you are too busy to deal with another person right now...I know that you would make time for the right person but hun you gotta make time to love yourself before anyone else can...until you think that you are more than average noone else will...allow yourself to be free and okay with it!
*huggles babe* from someone who thinks you are far from a wasted vagina and double d's!
is that a picture of when you passed out in the men's bathroom? or when you fell over because you could bend your knees to pick up your lipstick to write your phone number on the wall?
Isnt part of going to law school the fact that you basically sacrafice your 20's for a law degree and the salary that goes along with it? (Same with med school). So Buttah, for fucks sake, go get laid. You're not going to have that body forever. Everyone has needs. Dont worry about being labeled a "slut." I mean, who the fuck are we to judge you? Most of us have probably slutted ourselves out from time to time. (I just dont know how you avoid getting laid with tits like those).. But seriously, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.(or girl)
look guys... i know you all need answers right away so since Elle can't make it tonight... I'll be more than happy to reply for her the way i know she would want me to....
wes - but those loving words would apply to both of us.
hunne b - that is exactly what whitney houston told angela bassett in Waiting to Exhale.. how did you know to quote my favorite movie..... I think you should email me.. we exchange phone numbers.. meet in vegas.. and you can make sure it doesn't go to waste.
menace - yes lipstick on the wall right after i followed the guy in the stall and knocked him out... only i left my room number also...
ryan - what you said... touched me... I had no idea people into animation knew there was a Law and Med school... but you could judge me ryan.. I could tell you how i secertly enjoy Pixar animation.. and you could tell me how wrong i am and how i need to be punished..
Ok... i think that does it.. Any more comments for Elle i'll be more than happy to answer for her while she's away..
Johnny I <3 you in a strange way...
As long as I have an internet connection, you will never be a waste of a vagina and double d tits.
Hi E. Thanks for the boots shot. Careful you don't fall from up there!!!
At least you don't get the IM's that try to be all sexual and then want you to click the link to a pay porn site. You should be happy..you said you're gonna be triple fucked on October 2nd...LOL.
yer my favorite skanky jew on the internet.
Oh Johnny, your quirky comebacks are so menacing..
Wes: it's a gift, i know.
Huneeb: is it having a higher moral standing if there just no one around to even choose from?!!
Johnny: no, it's a picture of me taking a study break while watching nip/tuck. i don't even wear lipstick. ain't that some shit?
Ryan: so wait..just 'cause i have big tits, i've got to be rolling in the cock?! huh?!
Johnny: you suck at playing the part of me. really. but i'm honored you want to be me so bad.
Flounder: i'm not sure if that's really sweet, or depressing as all fuck =P
Knight: they aren't that high. i have higher. tee hee
Chris: i don't get those 'cause i'm female. i'm sure if i had a dick i'd get them. and yes..triple fucked, and i won't even get close to getting off! FUCK
Shane: you love me. it's all good
Well, its not just the tits.. Your pretty sexy all around.. but yeah, you should be rolling around in fields of cock.
ok so i wasn't good at being you... at least ryan thought i was funny... so i'm going to do Ryan a favor and speak for him........
Elle Butt - IM me. now.
Bitchin boots! Also pretty sure you can force your professor to either move the date or let you take the test another time.
Ask the dean of the department.
Ryan: haha rolling around in fields of cock? where do i find these feilds?
Johnny: you can im me. now.
Andy: not worth making a huge fuss over. technically, the holiday is over at sundown, and my class is at 8 which is around sundown, so if it goes to technicality, i'll lose out. i'll just take the exam
Johnny: I wouldnt say funny. More like a pathetic plea for attention. I know you probably do alot of guys "favors".. but I wont be needing any.. thanks though.
Buttah: Ha! I thought you'd be interested..
interested? it's freakishly exciting. almost as freakishly exciting as a sea of nipples.
in congregation, they scare the fuck out of you..in singleness they are kind of nummy.
I think you're the same height as me.......I'm lovin' the boots but I'm betting you're really tall in them.......cause I would be
another IM winner ... and screw that prof! well, don't ... screw me ;)
love the go-go boots ... heh
Loooooving the hoochie boots. Da Boyfriend would love me to own those. I own a few...a leopard skin one... black velvet ones...but those ROCK...HARD.
And the douchebag??? That's what I call the shotgun approach. Shoot all you see...something will fall into your hunting bag :)
-N
i-wanna-fuck-you boots... i mean, in those boots, umm, while you're wearing those boots...anyway
~add me to the douchebag list~
no, please, don't
but april? damn
june, here
busy this weekend?
damn, i'm a douchebag
but i do like the boots
and you make me laugh
Kristen: yea, i'm 5'8''...i think i was like 6'2'' in those. heh, it was kind of nice :)
Dzer: get on over here, 'cause i need to screw lots of people vicariously through you!
Nat: want the boots? i can send 'em on down :) and the jdate douches are all the same. i'm not sure where they got the idea that this approach will ever work, but hey
Jericho: you want to do me?! i thought you'd never ask!!
That prof. sounds like a cunt. When I have my own classes, I always avoid scheduling anything important on religious holidays (any of them, not just jewish).
I mean, I'm not religious myself, but I'm not going to be the stuck up cunt who fucks with other people's beliefs.
Post like these are what keep this at the top of my daily must read list.
ryan: This isn't about me.... this isn't even my blog.. quit trying to shine the spotlight on me... pathetic plea for attention?... do you have to say plea?.. can't you just say pathetic "attention"..
Those boots are made for walkin'... but all over who?
;)
For someone your age and with your brain to go 5 months without sex would make me wonder. I think you need to forget thinking that people who have lots of sex are sluts and just start doing it, a lot. Might change your view of the world
Michael: you just don't want to teach class, so you're using religious holiday's as an out, huh? i can dig it!
Armando: i'm flattered ;) you ass kisser, you ;)
Johnny: play nice.
Faltenin: myself, apparently
Your Fav Guy: if you're going to make accusations about me and what i think of people who sleep around, you might want to stop assuming you're my "favorite guy," get an ounce of a ballsack and post with a real profile, and then maybe read what i write. i don't care what other people do...and i don't care what other people think of me. i don't go around and fuck random people. if you have issues with that, fine...have a fucking party with it, but don't sit there and assume that me opening my legs for any guy that bothers to talk to me is going to change my view of the world, and for the love of fucking god stop assuming you're my favorite guy. you aren't. you aren't even remotely close. post again under that bullshit pseudonym, and i'll ban your ip from my blog. i hope we're clear.
Nice boots.
I thought that was nice of me .. to get the spotlight back on you... and your boots
Actually, and I mean this in the most reassuring way possible, your best sexual years are AHEAD of you, not behind you.
The mid-30s into the 40s are AWESOME, sexually speaking. ;) So, don't despair, elle-baby.
Post a Comment