my dying prayer sealed in a scream unwelcomed in a conscious dream. i climb to fall, to begin again, to fall, to begin again. i feel so useless.

i've been staring at the screen for a good hour. i wrote out an entire rant, deleted it, wrote another rant, deleted that one, and now am, once again staring at a blank screen.

everything i've written, and subsequently deleted, points to something i'm not sure i want to admit. at least not yet, if ever. it's nothing bad, per se. i'm just not in the business of having people reach out to me, or feel bad for me. makes me feel like shit for some reason, and extremely guilty. don't ask me, i don't understand it either.

either way, i promised e i would "fess up", and honesty doesn't entail any amount of full disclosure and details, so that should about cover it in the least intrusive and unspecific way possible. wahoo! suck it, e.

anyway, here's a tag i saw on someones blog.....it should fill up space adequately.

men i'd like to fuck:

1. johnny depp....his eyes make me want to take him to do him in a very uncomfortable spot, like the back of a vw.....and if you don't get the movie reference, i pity you.
2. jeremy piven....seriously...he'd be at the top of the list, if he wasn't a touch too short for me, but good god..i want him.
3. matthew mcconaughey....he's blonde, but he's hot..and he plays bongos while naked.
4. vince vaugh circa swingers and made....because i love that asshole personna, but now he's fat.
5. zach braff...he's jewish, he's tall, he's decent looking..and he wrote garden state. sign me the fuck up.

women i'd go tuna diving for:

1. gwen stefani....i don't care, that woman can do no wrong in my eyes...and i'd give my left ovary to be her and have her life.
2. emmanuelle chriqui...if i could look like anyone, it'd be her. damn her!
3. imogen heap...have you heard her croon? dear god, it makes me into a slip''slide....
4. carmen electra....she's cute, she's got big ol titties, and she's svelte-ish
5. shakira....she's a midget, but when she fuckin shakes her hips i want to be under her.

non celebrities i'd like to rock like a fuckin' hurrican:

none. odds are they fight or flight instinct would take hold before i figured out if i wanted them to feel me from the inside.